Mumsnet Talk

DH is lovely, but he's not a slim as he used to be now he's reached middle age. Pretty fit, actually, but carries weight around his middle and has a bit of an overhang.

We've booked a holiday in France, where camp site rules insist on trunks (not shorts) for men in the pool. Can anyone help him find something halfway suitable? There's been a bit of ribbing about budgie smugglers around here, but I think he's actually quite worried.

Try and find some of the trunk-style ones - i.e. with fitted legs. They are slightly more flattering, and are allowed - it's only the flappy shorts-style ones that aren't.

My DH didn't believe me when I told him the rules, and had to find a pair in a French supermarket. You couldn't even fit budgies in the pair he ended up with

They often say that but don't enforce it.

We're going to a similar site in France. DH can get a bit portly around the middle. He has now started training for a triathlon to be in good shape!

I think the short style ones are OK, like These

I am mean and think its hilarious, we laughed till we cried when DH bought the large size out of the vending machine. They were verging on pornographic!

Mind you all the men look the same so DH wasn't bothered just bought the hugest size he could so they weren't so tight.

Ha ha

We had to buy a pair for DH last summer, he was really not happy.

I found a pair of Speedos that were slightly shorts shaped but still fitted and no bagginess - and still very short. Very short.

This has made me grin remembering how worried about it he was.

<evil wife>

He won't be the only one wearing them who is not of Olympic build as it is fairly standard to ask this in France. Was there last week and were all types and ages so he need not feel self conscious.

What about these :

big speedo that seemed to be popular last week

another type

It wasn't enforced where we went and most of the French men were wearing the baggy shorts style. Budgies are just not nice!

Just… why?? WTF is wrong with shorts?!

That's cheered me up no end looking at men in swimshorts

It is the one reason why my DH pulls a face when I suggest a French campsite. He has a stoma, and the Speedo type don't pullup high enough to cover it. ): So baggies it is.

minnie They say to wear the speedos for hygiene? I guess the baggy shorts could be worn as regular shorts all day - could pick up more bits ?

Seems a bit OTT though to me.

Honestly, men need to get over this - we've had to wear tight revealing swimwear for decades.

My H wears the tight shorts when we're on the Continent using public swimming pools (and we've been turned away in the past when we didn't have them). You may also need swimming caps, and ensure if you have any sons, they are also in tighties.

H and his friends did a bulk buy in Decathlon for their tighties, only £5 each. No point spending loads on something you'll barely wear.

Yup, many places we have been to have enforced this rule - its bad enough with DH but my teenage DS was horrified that he too had to wear these....

We live in France and see this rule absolutely enforced much of the time. Do go prepared, I guess it helps when every other man is wearing them but they're still revolting!

My best friends oh was made to wear the 'communal pair' when he was caught in the wrong type of shorts at a French pool......best get the right type methinks even if the blokes feel like they are wearing a mankini

suttonmum they do enforce it in some places, my DH was sent back to buy a pair from the lady at the admission desk!

I've never seen this actually enforced on a campsite. However just in case I got dh a pair of the tight shorts style a la Daniel Craig in my dreams

The kids wore normal swimming shorts.

Someone told me recently that "reasons of hygiene" = "risk of catching pubic lice"

We stayed on a Eurocamp type place 3 or 4 years ago and it was enforced. DH didn't believe me, well until her was refused access to the pool! He had to go and pair a pair of trunks!

It was one of the more memorable incidents of our last family trip to France - the sight of DP and DSS squirming in their tighty swimmers, most amusing!

We were skiing in France recently and this rule was definitely enforced. Someone in our chalet said that the rule is to stop any untoward 'fiddling' going on in baggier shorts

My dh has been refused entry to French pools before and had to buy budgie smugglers.
He now wears these m.sportsdirect.com/mt/www.sportsdirect.com/slazenger-swimming-jammers-mens-352074?colcode=35207422&un_jtt_v_un_PDP=yes&un_jtt_v_un_info=&un_jtt_v_un_pers=&un_jtt_redirect even when swimming at home as he says they are so comfortable... Ou can also get slightly shorter ones that are more attractive!

Not long after we moved to France we went swimming in the aqua-swim centre in the prefecture. Dd and I were nearly helpless when dh was told that swimming shorts were not allowed.

A very helpful lady came from behind the reception, and eyed up dh rather too closely for his comfort. She came out with a little pair of navy speedo-type trunks, and proceded to stretch them this way and that, and when satisfied, handed them to him.

He came out of the changing room feeling rather naked - and was rewarded with a nod of satisifaction from the lady.

Must have made her day - dh often complains that French underwear doesn't have room for his 'bijoux' After he got over his embarrassment, he felt rather proud. The same lady took them from him on our way out, and nearly leered at him.

On another note, a friend's son plays rugby and has apparently noticed that in France he appears to be rather more generously-endowed than he'd believed himself to be when living in the UK.

In the mid 1990s a friend was on secondment to Brussels from the Civil Service when they were trying to draft a condom directive. This required meetings between delegates from the then member countries who supplied their national 'norms'. According to the Commission gossip, the meetings ended in disarray when the French and the Italian delegates refused to except that the British Standard was ahem more generous in its dimensions than either the NF (norme francaise) or its Italian equivalent

tb really?

Interestng reading. I will share this with DH over dinner. He will be pleased.

shrimp yes, really. We were shown a memo that was going the rounds of the Commission building in Brussels. Obviously, all the Brits there thought it was really funny - but probably not a view shared by the Italians and the French.

There was also a political to-do in the 80s/90s when Nissan built their factory in Edwina Currie's constituency. To show their gratitude, and in the spirit of international co-operation, the Japanese equivalent of the London Rubber Company either sent or offered condoms for her constituents. There was quite a lot in the papers about how she could 'diplomatically' avoid causing offence, while trying not to say that they were far too small. I seem to remember in Shogun when the pilot took a bath, all the dirty old ladies in the village came round to marvel at his 'physique'.

[Grin]

We should do a survey.

Unfortunately I have only ever seen man parts of UK origin..

I don't think DH would be Impressed if I did a real life study. He he he

I had no idea about this! That is the same as forcing women to wear bikinis

Why, just why?