Waking up after 4 hours and then only going back to sleep with his mum in our bed

[CharlieChap]

Hi,
Our 1 1/2 year old son is not sleeping well at all, to get him to sleep we usually stay with him till he drifts off, it usually takes 15 mins. But at about mid night every night he wakes and starts screaming until he is put in bed with his mum, I have tried calming him but he wont stop screaming until mums there, so i have to sleep in the spare room. Any advice please

[minipie]

hi, I am not an expert but sounds like he needs a parent there to get back to sleep at midnight because that is how he goes to sleep at bedtime. you could try the gradual withdrawal technique (at bedtime not at midnight) to teach him to fall asleep without you there... it's quite a long and slow process though.

[tuttavia]

Are you opposed to co sleeping? It's not everyone's cup of tea, but it might ensure you all get a good night's sleep together.

[CharlieChap]

Co sleeping hasn't worked and i dont think we want it too, he ends up lying towards my wife and kicking me in the head, hence why i go to the spare room.

As for gradual withdrawal, how would we do that please?

with our first child we just used to let her cry until she feel asleep, she soon learn't, but he is very stubborn.

[minipie]

if you google gradual withdrawal you will find descriptions but basically you start with DS falling asleep with you next to him, then with you sitting on a chair by his bed, then on a chair a little further away, etc etc until he is falling asleep with you outside the door just talking to him through the door, then by himself completely.

that's the theory... I haven't tried it myself!

[CharlieChap]

ok, thank you, will chat to the wife about it tomorrow

[Seriouslysleepdeprived]

this link explains it pretty well. HTH

[pamelat]

Our ds falls to sleep alone but follows this pattern after 5 nights out of 7.

He's nearly 3 :(

It's really not ideal.