DS2 is 15.5 months old. He is gorgeous, happy, smiley, into everything and generally pretty lovely to be around during the day. Nights are something else. He slept pretty well until 4 months then it all went horribly wrong.
Current situation is that he can settle himself to sleep, but generally doesn't during the night. He wakes between three and five times, sometimes for long periods, and it's getting to the point where I just can't do it anymore. I work part-time and have another DS. I feel like I'm being a shit mum to them both and struggling to get through the day without shouting as I'm constantly so tired my fuse is about a millimetre long. This is Not Good.
I tend to get him out of the cot immediately to cuddle him to sleep when he wakes at night (I know, Iknow), sometimes in his room and sometimes in my room - partly because I don't have the stamina to do a lot else on the third waking at 2am when I've only managed to bag half an hour's sleep and he'll be up in 3 hours anyway, and partly because I don't want him to wake up his big brother.
BUT. Things have to change. So here's my plan. Please tell me if you think it's a good plan/crap plan/how I could make it better. I clearly don't have a fecking clue what I'm doing so any advice is welcome.
Bedtime. This is not so hard. Plan is to put DS down nice and early at bedtime and let him settle himself to sleep without me in the room. I generally try and do this anyway but will make an extra special effort. He did it tonight like a dream (no crying - I can't handle crying).
Night wakings. I will not take DS out of his room and I won't pick him up immediately. I will offer water while he's in his cot and try and settle him (back rub etc) without picking him up. If he gets really distraught I will pick him up and cuddle him, then put him straight back down when he's settled.
Once he's settling in his cot fairly easily (anyone know how long that might take??) I will reduce the amount of intervention and try to soothe him just by talking to him etc. Hopefully at this point he will start settling himself. That's the plan anyway
I will try the plan consistenly for 2 weeks and if there are zero improvements (I'm not expecting miracles, just some improvement) I will admit defeat and call Millpond Sleep Clinic.
If you'd made it this far, thank you. Sorry for the epic post - I needed to write it down somewhere and thought it would be worth getting some opinions at the same time.
Welcome Rilla; hope things improve for you, you can do it!
Sounds like it's going well for you Bic despite the teething, hope you get well soon!
DS2 is feeding well and putting on weight, he slept 4 whole hours last night, which I was very happy with! Finding it difficult to stay awake during feeds and then I'm wide awake when he finally drops off though... Ugh. So far he's a better sleeper than DS1 was, fingers crossed he is better, DS1 slept his first full nigh at the grand old age of 9months, at which point I was on the verge of insanity...
Hi Rilla (love the name by the way - I was an Anne fan too...)
Sounds like Monday night went really well. How was last night?
Would your DH be up for pick up put down as opposed to CC if you don't feel that comfortable with it? That's what we did with DS1 and DS2 when we were night weaning. It meant we didn't have to leave them crying on their own at all (which I just couldn't do) but it got them used to settling in the cot without being fed to sleep.
DS2 woke at 4.50am today so it was a killer early start, but he slept through until then from 6.40pm so I can't complain too much - in fact I think I got a record six hours sleep in a row last night
Sorry you're not well - it really pushes you to the limit when you are not on top form yourself, doesn't it. & those teeth are bleeding blighters.
DD2 is 14.5m - used to sleep really well but it has been steadily on/off since the summer. She wakes up anything from 2/3 times a night & I breastfeed her back to sleep. TBH I would probably keep on doing that as I am tired, lazy and lack motivation to make any changes, but DP & me keep fighting about it are agreed that we all need more sleep...
Yesterday was supposed to be night one of controlled crying (I don't want to do this but DP won't support any other method & I don't feel like I can deny her a feed when I am in the room with her at night, she will get really agitated & we will both get distressed), but she has a cough/cold so we didn't... I did put her down awake & do a form of CC - it didn't feel like it because she didn't really cry, but she protested a bit, I popped back in, she calmed down, I left, she protested a bit, I popped back in - etc. She fell asleep in 15 mins. She had a good night after that.
Things have been a bit rough the last week or so as DS2 is cutting his canines, BUT he's putting himself to sleep at night (with me sat in a chair in the room) and settling within 10 mins of waking at night (usually in need of painkillers) and I'm not picking him up so hopeful once this bout of teething is over the hard work will have paid off.
Hideous week of 3 or 4 night wakings and 5am (or earlier) starts and then he randomly slept through last night until 6am
Wish I knew what made the difference.
I'm still sitting by him, and sometimes stroking his back, until he falls asleep at bedtime. Also trying to settle him in cot instead of picking him up when he wakes in the night, which usually works now.
oh no Teeth always strike at the worst of times, don't they? What do you use when he is teething? I found Neurofen to be best, it eased the swelling. Obviously not an option if he is wheezy or asthmathic though. Keep going with the routine you've established though, it seemed to be working before this hiccup, and that's all it is a hiccup and you'll be back to full nights again soon. I am being induced with no.2 tomorrow so will be joining you in the sleepy corner then!
It's all gone downhill last few nights have been really hard, he's been waking up several times in the night and really early
He's really grumpy as he's so knackered. Don't want to increase his nap time (he only has an hour) as it always seems to have a knock on effect on his night time sleep, and it's bad enough at the moment without making it worse.
Last night he woke at 11pm, midnight, then 4.30am when he was awake until 5.45am when he went back to sleep until 6.15am. Not good
He still won't let me dump and run at night, I have to sit in his room while ge goes off to sleep.
I think he's teething (grotty nappies, bright red cheeks, hands in mouth, grumpy) so hoping hoping hoping this particular hideous phase of sleep won't last too long. I'm sooooooooo tired.
Moan moan moan, whinge whinge whinge.
It's putting me off having number three and we really really want number three.
It is frustrating lying awake I agree, but worse to get out of bed! Been doing a lot of the lying awake mysef lately, but I suspect it is because I'm too pregnant.
Prop Joe (love your name), I really did not know that you had to teach babies to sleep when DS was born, I just assumed it was a natural thing. Considering I had to teach him how to feed etc, I should have realised! I was a bit young and naive I suppose... Better prepared this time round.
He slept through until 5.10am again I literally can't believe it.
Fingers crossed it continues. Will give it a week and then try shortening his naps if still waking up at 5am to see if he can get to a more reasonable wake up time.
Freddie - I remember being like this with DS1. When he started sleeping through consistently it took me quite a long time to get my own sleeping back on track. Frustrating but at least I don't have to get out of bed even if I am awake at 2am!
PropositionJoe - DS2 definitely cries when he's tired. I've not done any CCing really with him as I'm too much of a wuss, it was more settling him in the cot at first and now staying in the room with him while he puts himself to sleep. Hopefully at some point he'll let me leave the room at bedtime and sleep in past 6am - now that would be a miracle!
It almost always does. That's why there are so many threads on here with people saying - do it, do it, your baby needs sleep, you need sleep blah blah blah. People forget that babies need teaching how to sleep. And that they CRY WHEN THEY ARE TIRED!!
I can't believe how quickly it seems to have worked, and with very little stress on either of us. Fingers crossed it will keep improving and eventually I'll go to bed knowing I'll get a good night's sleep
Night before last he slept through until 5am and last night he slept through until 5.40am
Strangely he won't let me leave him alone to go to sleep at bedtime anymore, I sit in the chair in his room mumsnetting on my phone and ignoring him while he pootles around the cot and goes to sleep so not exactly a hardship. Bit weird though, as I used to be able to dump and run at bedtime. He did put himself to sleep for his nap yesterday without me in the room (and without the dreaded crying) so he can still do it.
I think I'm going to shorten his nap to try and get him to sleep in a bit longer in the morning (ha ha - as if it will be that simple!) - it would be amazing to get a start past 6am.
But all in all, massive progress. I haven't slept through as still keep waking every 2 or 3 hours. Hopefully if his sleep gets better my sleep will eventually sort itself out.
Not bad at all! He will of course take you completely by surprise and do it when you least expect it. It is a toddler's wont. DS is 3 now and is always bloody unsettled when we stay away from home, so think you have done quite well
Last few nights have been a mixed bag. We were away for the weekend and the first night he only woke once whereas the second night he woke twice, the second time for an hour. Not great. Managed 6 hours sleep in 48 hours (my own fault - didn't get to bed until after midnight both nights).
Last night, back in own cot, he only woke once, settled quickly with a drink of water and then slept until 6.30am
oh Bicnod, I was hoping it would last! Don't be disheartned, he will improve if you are consistent. Keep us updated!
Pro - how old is your DS? I got Ds to give his bottle to Santa in exchange for a beaker last year, it worked well and he was too tired at the end of Christmas day when we gave him a beaker of water to take to bed instead. He was 2.5 at the time though...