We made the decision, but are heartbroken

[Burroo]

Of all my self indulgent posts, this I know is the worst. After days / weeks of agonising we chose Hockerill over Christs Hospital. It was the sensible decision and on financial grounds, far better for the family; but CH had everything we wanted, was our 1st choice and DS worked so hard to get in, I feel that I have badly let him down. I know this is self-indulgent twaddle, most people could not even begin to contemplate private school fees and Hockerill is better than just good, but can't stop crying about it all. Sorry. Completely pathetic. Just wanted to get it off my chest.

[Bonsoir]

Is Hockerill a state school?

[BariatricObama]

get over it

[Bonsoir]

Stop being nasty, BariatricObama.

[webwiz]

Hockerill is one of the top performing state schools in the country and offers state boarding. You just need a bit of time to get used to the choice Burroo - around here if anyone had heard you were dithering over a Hockerill place they would have taken you down a dark alleyway and forcibly made you hand it over.

[BariatricObama]

i am not being nasty (ok maybe a bit!) but really going round weeping and wailing about a blardy school when her child has got into a perfectly good one anyway is pointless.

[Bonsoir]

OK, have just read up about Hockerill in the Good Schools Guide - it looks great, I especially loved the bit about being taught History and Geography in a second language. I didn't know any English state schools did Content and Language Integrated Learning (CLIC). That's fabulous!

[Bonsoir]

If you have nothing useful to add to the thread, BariatricObama, just leave it alone. You may not understand the OP's issue - leave it to people who do empathise.

[BariatricObama]

boohoo!

[ABetaDad]

Burroo - its not everything but from the Sunday Tmes league tabes looks like Hockerill has better A level results.

Where I grew up there is a state boarding school and people literally mortgage themselves to bankruptcy to buy a house near it so they can send their DCs as day pupils.

You made a good choice. Hockerill is miles better than the fee paying school my DSs go to.

[Burroo]

State boarding. Had to be a boarding school for family reasons. Have no problem with it being a state school whatsoever; CH was the only private boarding option we looked at. Nothing whatsoever to do with private v state, but rather finding the ideal school for ds's character and abilities but having to come to terms with the fact that it was not realistic. We will, of course, get over it, and ds is being fine and upbeat about it all; still hard though to shut the door on the "perfect" school.

[Burroo]

Sorry about last post; not keeping up.
You are of course all right, and I probably need a bit of kicking up the backside by BariatricO!

[thisisyesterday]

I am sure your son will thrive there Burroo! and at least he won';t have to wear the CH uniform which is, you have to admit, quite strange! lol

No, in all seriousness, I think a child with the right mindset and a good background can thrive at almost any school. Esp with good parental support, which by the sounds of it, your son has!

You wouldn't have chosen the school you did if you didn't think it was the right choice deep down, so focus on that.

[StepSideways]

Hockerill... I should be so lucky!

[violetqueen]

Burro - deep breaths ,you'll feel better soon.
No school is perfect ,it's the anxiety and stress clouding your vision.
If any comfort ,my brother went to CH and it certainely was far from perfect .
I didn't say this earlier as he was there some 40 years ago ,so sure it's changed.
Even so ,be nice to yourself - I'm sure you've made right decision.

[oshgosh]

OP: I didn't look at your other thread since we are nowhere near to you and I know nothing about the schools you were discussing.
However, DS is in a SBS and I have to say that, if it is anything like ours and most of the others, yours will be brill.
Like you, we had applied elsewhere and had the SBS as second choice. We didn't get the first choice and were forced to go to our second choice. Several years down the line, I am sooo pleased with his school and am actually glad that we didn't get first choice.
It is different in your case because you are making the choice, instead of having it forced upon you, but remember the mantra "all shall be well".

[bellissima]

If CH still have the uniform a friend of mine had to wear then oh boy did you make the right decision!

But seriously, it's not easy and you will have some regrets about the place you turned down. We certainly do, having turned down two Indies for a grammar, and a friend who was telephoned by the Headmistress and several mums from the Indie (her DD having won the top schol) but in the end went for the grammar feels even worse.

But consider;

(1) If its incredibly hard to choose between two alternatives then maybe it doesn't particularly matter which one you take.

(2) If you take the state school rather than the Indie you can almost certainly change your mind (subject to places and a very polite letter of refusal first time round - most important!). Whereas an oversubscribed state school isn't going to have places further on. You have made the best decision at this time. That's all you can do.

[orienteerer]

I think you have made absolutely the right decision, I think SBS gives you the best of both worlds. I wish Hockerill was closer to us as in a few years time I would have loved DS to go there (specifically for the emphasis on languages).

[AnnaSergeyevna]

Buroo - it'll be fine. Remind yourself that if you hadn't got CH, you may have been somewhat disappointed but still over the moon that you got Hockerill.
Forget CH, don't talk to anyone about CH, just focus on Hockerill and before you know it your DS will be settled and won't even remember the issue about CH vs H.

Good luck, keep calm and celebrate that you have such a good school for your DS

[Burroo]

What a supportive lot you (almost all!) are!
Dh is very "down"; he had good personal reasons for wanting CH, but I am feeling much better. As AnnaS rightly says, the key is to focus on the (very many) positives, and not to even think about CH. Thank you all.

[Cammelia]

Burroo, I know a couple of people who at the moment are going through this very thing (but with different schools than yours). Basically they have gained places at a SBS but also applied to independent. I know that they applied to the SBS on grounds of money as their children were (almost) ensured of a place at their other choice. They are in the same position as you where they prefer the indie in some ways but prefer the price of the SBS. They are both having to make up their minds this week .

Don't CH give good bursarial support compared to lots of other indies though? Or do you not qualify?

FWIW you will probably be more than glad in a few months time when those bills don't come rolling in and as your child is undoubtedly clever he will do just as well at the state school

[TDiddy]

OP- you can't win. We did the opposite: chose Habderdashers Askes Boys over the execllent Watford Grammar and in some ways I am heartbroken.

[TDiddy]

Just realised that both of your options were private so my situation was only slightly analogous in terms of cost.

[webwiz]

Hockerill is a state school TDiddy but it offers boarding.

[TDiddy]

thanks. So then it is analogous. I feel like I have burnt a cheque for GBP XXX as Watford Grammar is a great state school. But DS is really really keen on Habs and it does suit him.......

[usualsuspect]

Blimey its another world on here