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"Scared of milk squirting" - breastfeeding vs my sex life

(32 Posts)
DeathByMonkey Mon 01-Dec-08 05:50:11

Our baby is 6 months now and we haven't had sex since he was conceived. Up til now I haven't really minded but now I'm starting to think about it more and more. I had imagined that my husband had been valiantly quashing the urge and was patiently waiting for me to give him the green light, but we talked about it last night, and a very enlightening conversation it was too.

Basically, he finds the whole idea of bf, although obviously a beautiful and natural act, a complete turn-off, and thinks he will have a hard time feeling turned on by my boobs while they are still in, shall we say, production mode. Also, and I had no idea about this, when we started having sex again after our last baby, and I'd stopped bf at 4 months, well apparently I was still lactating and he tasted some milk and was completely shocked and turned off.

I really want to bf this baby up to one year, but I don't know if I can forfeit my sex life for that long. Has anyone else been in this situation? Do most blokes feel this way about bf or is mine particularly squeamish? He hasn't said he won't shag me until I stop bf, but rather has been very honest and said it may be a problem that he'll try and work past. I guess as well I'm feeling a bit gutted as it has been so long, I thought he would be rampantly waiting to rip my clothes off, not feeling quietly turned off by my current state.

aGalChangedHerName Mon 01-Dec-08 07:23:08

I squirted milk all over the shop (i wasn't aware of this) but DH didn't seem to mind tbh. Think he was just happy to be getting laid lol.

No advice really, what about keeping your bra on/feeding just before you have sex so your breasts are emptyish?

walkingprimrose Mon 01-Dec-08 07:36:01

If you want to breastfeed your baby for year then you must do it!! If you stop just so your husband isn't turned off sex by your lactation then you may come to really resent him and sex long term (I know I would).

So...I'd just say - fine darling, you don't need to go anywhere near the boobs, just s**g me FGS!! And then I'd buy some gorgeous underwear sets and keep my bra on.

I squirted milk, but my DP loved it, and he quite liked the taste of my milk.

I like primroses nice underwear idea, though you dont seem to be able to get sexy nursing bras

kayzisexpecting Mon 01-Dec-08 09:04:40

Buy some HotMilk nursing bras. You can get them here from Blooming Marvellous. They are very sexy bras and then you can keep it on.

well, your husband really ought to be aware that he can have sex with you without sucking on your nipples, if the idea of your milk turns him off that much,.
are you still actually leaking/squirting milk? if not then you should be fine if he stays away from them,.

there are PLENTY of other things you can do together, just use your imaginations wink

ExBat Mon 01-Dec-08 09:08:06

<Shudder>

It was my orgasm that made my milk squirt right across the room grin

ExBat Mon 01-Dec-08 09:10:46

<thunk>

IAmNotHere Mon 01-Dec-08 09:15:28

JB you have knocked ExBat out with your orgasm.

Try to be more careful in future.

walkingprimrose Mon 01-Dec-08 09:39:54

you wouldn't have wear a nursing bra for sex! An ordinary one would be fine, doubt it would give you mastitis unless you were wearing it for a REALLY long session grin.

primigravida Mon 01-Dec-08 09:52:29

Just have sex lying on your stomach or spooning so that if you leak or squirt he want be able to see. Dh was a little squeamish at first but has got over it now and is just happy that I'm still bf'ing and having sex when we both have the energy. I second the hot milk bra suggestion - I have two of their sets and they are the best nursing bras around in looks, comfort and support.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Mon 01-Dec-08 12:07:44

this is a funny thread, brings back some amusing memories blush

I also found my nipples when <ahem> stimulated would oblige with some milk for about 2 yrs after stopping bf !!!!

DeathByMonkey Mon 01-Dec-08 12:22:42

Thanks for replies. I will check out the Hot Milk bras, have seen their ads now I think about it and they look pretty nice. Am quite in awe of the couple where the dp liked the taste of bm - I don't think we'll get to that stage, but never say never! I'd just like to get down to a session without worrying that he'd be turned off if I did start squirting!

Anyfucker - 2 years??shock

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Mon 01-Dec-08 13:44:39

yup, not unusual I believe blush

amess Mon 01-Dec-08 13:47:10

Never ever happened but other things squirt who said sex was neat and tidy?

DeathByMonkey Mon 01-Dec-08 14:25:50

I know, amess I agree with you, what's one more bodily fluid among friends!grin The stupid thing is he would never think of himself as a prude but really has a hard time with this, and also didn't want sex when I was pg, and my god was I gutted about that - I was gagging for it!

DeathByMonkey Mon 01-Dec-08 14:27:24

Lol, just realised in my op I said I didn't mind about not getting any - think I may have been denying those feelings for too long!

weWUZZuaFRAGGLExmas Mon 01-Dec-08 16:09:41

LOL ExBat and IAmNotHere

elsiepiddock Mon 01-Dec-08 17:09:59

I think your dh is being sqeamish, but at least he's being honest with you.

My dh liked my milky boobs, but I felt a bit weird esp if I looked down to see his big head where I'd normally see a diddy baby sized one!!

itchybird Mon 01-Dec-08 17:27:48

I also leaked (and still am!) 2 yrs after having baby and I only breastfed for 1 day!! eek!!

They only leak when stimulated....but I can't stop squeezing to see if it still happens...sigh..

My DH is utterly turned off my breast feeding/milk and would happily and openly admit his is very squeamish about it.

Do it doggy maybe? or maybe just feed for 6mths (compromise?)

countingto10 Mon 01-Dec-08 17:33:45

I couldn't stand DH being anywhere near my boobs whilst I was BF. He just knew they were a no go zone until I finished BF. A year each with all 4 DC wink

I didn't like the idea of leaking during sex so DH isn't allowed near my boobs till the milk is gone (and that may be another couple of years yet!)

He still gets sex, so he's happy!

I think its a serious issue if your DH wants to put sex ahead of what is best for your baby. You need to talk about alternatives that will make you both happy without you having to stop something that you want to do, and is best for your DC! (IMHO!)

crokky Mon 01-Dec-08 17:40:20

I am currently bf my 2nd (she's 8 months) and I bf my 1st for a year. I will not have DH anywhere near my boobs whilst bf (it feels very wrong, have urge to protect baby!). He is absolutely not allowed to touch! So I wear a little top. To be honest, it's non negotiable - he either has sex with me wearing it or not at all, for the duration of bf. I am aiming for a year as well. DH will put up with it, but i am sure nakedness will be required once I stop bf!

Schnullerbacke Mon 01-Dec-08 21:03:36

Your husband is not the only one who is turned off by it and I found that wearing a bra / top really did help.

Anyfucker - noooooo, 2 years. Please don't say that {shock}

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