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New boyfriend rubbish in bed

(33 Posts)
getmeoutofthismadhouse Sun 24-Feb-13 23:49:56

Just come back from a weekend with my new boyfriend. I like him a lot but I'm dreading seeing him again coz I've come back home aching all over coz he was so unbelievably rubbish in bed.
I'm really not a bitch , I believe that sex becomes better over time and even if a man had premature problems to start with I would be the first to shrug it off and try again ... I like to give a man confidence in bed and always try to show a guy what I like ... but omg this weekend hasn't been like I imagined . I'm sore from his heavy handedness and his obvious lack of experience but how do you approach the subject with someone who is already insecure ?? His ex's all slept with other people and he has major trust issues .
He's 29 so hardly a virgin , he struggled to even find where to put it from behind . He bit my nipples so hard I thought he had bit them off and as for him on top omg he was thrusting into me , shaking whilst pulling at my shoulder . The insides of my thighs hurt and my bits just ... ache .

I ended up finishing him with my hand this morning coz I couldn't cope any longer . And even then he didn't even seem to do the finishing off bit right , most of it was left in his foreskin (sorry tmi)

He is of course convinced Im enjoying it and even though I told him him leaning on me hurt he still carried on . I told him my nipples were sore but he went off in a mood last night coz he thought I had orgasmed from him licking me and then coz of his lack of intercourse skills all I could do was moan that he was hurting me .
So ... how do you teach a man sex skills which I guess you always take for granted . He seems to have no idea at all . I do mean he actually seems like a virgin (he has kids so I know hes not )

Sex is really important to me and I was actually
looking forward to doing it with him definitely not expecting to try to avoid sex as much as possible . I do normally enjoy a lot sex and wouldn't usually hesitate telling a man what I like but I'm used to sex with men who are experienced in bed

I actually want to perhaps help him to get better coz I know some women ain't like me and they would critisize him , I don't want to hurt him but I can't bring myself to have sex with him again right now ..can you teach a man of nearly 30 sex skills you would just expect all men have???..

BertieBotts Mon 25-Feb-13 09:43:46

Good decision smile Good luck with the next! grin

expatinscotland Mon 25-Feb-13 09:49:20

You're doing the right thing, OP. Dump NOW.

getmeoutofthismadhouse Mon 25-Feb-13 10:05:33

Thanks Bertie , I ain't long out of a long term relationship and I am happy single so perhaps the time ain't right so I will wait for the right guy to come along !!

Olgathebrickshed Mon 25-Feb-13 10:09:46

Maybe you should get to know the next one better before you have sex with him?

Great decision OP grin

Especially if you are happy being single, no need to settle for less.

Good guys DO exist, so keep your standards high and some day you'll find the right guy.

Be careful how you go about dumping this one. It sounds like it could be pretty ugly given his 'issues'.

izzyizin Mon 25-Feb-13 11:31:04

Away from the bedroom he's attentive , treated me like a princess for the weekend and over endulged me with attention and compliments

His moodiness and insecurities were a major issue

At what point do the above two statements marry up? confused

What you've described is a man who is worthy of being dumped by text.

As for the 'princess' shit; look for a guy who values your company and doesn't seek to put you higher or lower than him.

Abitwobblynow Mon 25-Feb-13 12:12:10

Well done madhouse for taking the warning signs on board. Good on you for protecting yourself.

Please be honest with him though - not in a mocking or putdown way but just say to him what you said to us (and that you won't be taking anything further).

Any feedback that porn is shite for RL relationships is good feedback IMO.

oldqueencrepey Mon 25-Feb-13 13:46:42

yuk. get rid. maybe think about what being treated like a princess involves and why you think this would be a good basis for a relationship? there are men out there who will treat you like a human being perhaps, in and out of bed.

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