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Oh god... Slept with my BFF....

(126 Posts)
icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 21:34:25

What was I thinking!!!.... Would it be considered ' cheating' on my partner?? It wont happen again...there have been a few jokey comments today so am not worried about losing our friendship... That said, its all feeling a bit freaky!!

leadinglady Sun 17-Feb-13 00:10:58

OK Icemaiden. If your DP 'slept with' i mean have sex with, his bff (male) and promised never to do it again how would you feel?

Bunfags Wed 13-Feb-13 07:53:39

Actually, I could handle DP sleeping with a man, but would LTB if he slept with a woman. OP, maybe your DP would feel the same?

EchoBitch Wed 13-Feb-13 00:43:22

Bingo,i have never been to the bingo..

Maryz Tue 12-Feb-13 23:58:47

But doesn't marrying a man mean not sleeping with a man (as in another man) again?

This thread is really confusing me.

If you get married, don't sleep around. With anyone. Wouldn't that be a good rule?

foreverondiet Tue 12-Feb-13 23:55:16

My DH agrees its cheating but probably more forgivable than sleeping with another man. I agree with him ESP as my sister is bi but with a woman partially as she didn't meet the right man. But she did always say she wasn't sure she could marry a man as that would mean not sleeping with a woman again...

AnyFucker Tue 12-Feb-13 23:42:43

What about the Bingo ?

I recommend you get that ironed out, EB.

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 23:40:38

We are on the same page AF.

Thank goodness.

And we share our KFC.

Oh gawd blush

AnyFucker Tue 12-Feb-13 23:38:08

Y'know...it's a bit like the difference between penetrative intercourse with another and ...say... indulging in a bit of PaddyPower Bingo

A little unsavoury but not really breaking any vows, at all

AnyFucker Tue 12-Feb-13 23:35:34

But what if it were your DH's arse that was penetrated, SWO ?

That might not be classed as cheating.

deleted203 Tue 12-Feb-13 23:32:14

Slightly shock at posters who could possibly forgive their DP cheating on them with another man TBH.

I might forgive DH having a shag with another woman. Would take a lot of doing. But shagging another man? Ewwww...not ever, thanks. That would be far worse, for me. I could just about get my head round him having sex with another woman - would take a hell of a lot of forgiving, and talking through. Stick your cock up another bloke's arse and it's never coming near me again, though!

Maryz Tue 12-Feb-13 23:30:23

[arf]

AnyFucker Tue 12-Feb-13 23:28:17

Are you both on the same KFC page ?

Then all is well. Nobody is doing any greasy, fatty, salty fastfood deceit

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 23:23:23

I like KFC blush

But Dp does too occasionally.

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 23:21:55

If the OP has to ask us if it's cheating then it is cheating.

She hasn't asked if her DP thinks it's ok.

AnyFucker Tue 12-Feb-13 23:20:19

I would forgive KFC, but not Cheeky Chicken

Maryz Tue 12-Feb-13 23:20:07

I also think I would mind dh eating a big mac (even if he didn't tell me about it) just slightly less than having sex with another man.

I wouldn't have to go for a STD check, for starters.

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 23:19:40

Well,i'd forgive the Big Mac but not my DP.

GregBishopsBottomBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 23:17:14

Rules of cheating, should be what both partners in a relationship have agreed to what is cheating, for some a kiss is not cheating, for others it is, so to some of us it is cheating, but its up to the DP to determine what it is.

And i agree that the friendship wont be the same, when you muddy the waters, the rarely get clean again.

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 23:15:24

Hang on,your DP having it away with another bloke is less of a problem than him having a MaccyD?

I hasten to add i have never had a MaccyD and i have never had an affair of any sort and i hope to goodness that DP hasn't had an affair either.

I would forgive a Big mac.

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 23:12:09

I'm with Maryz here,and how can having a MaccyD be worse than shagging away from home???
<<baffled>>

Maryz Tue 12-Feb-13 23:04:57

No, I still don't agree.

Cheating is cheating. Unless you have agreed, in advance, that you are in a non-exclusive relationship and have given each other permission to have sex with another man/woman/prostitute/friend/sheep or have an emotional affair with any of the above or have an online affair with any of the above hmm it's cheating.

And I don't think the op asked her dh in advance whether it would be ok to have sex with her bff [bleurgh].

It smacks of Jeremy Kyles "sexual contact - anything from a kiss to intercourse" lie detector question.

Saying it depends on what your partner thinks is a get-out clause if you haven't cleared it in advance - and those are usually used by people who know they have done something unacceptable and are trying to excuse it hmm

AnyFucker - if you consider an emotional affair to be cheating then it is. If you don't then it isn't. That's my point, it all depends on individual reactions to things. I think someone people might consider it easier to forgive a purely emotional affair, others might find it more difficult than a purely physical one. What people consider to be cheating depends on their own, individual reaction to things in the context of the relationship they are in. I feel I'm just repeating myself now so I think i'll step away from this thread - which the OP wisely stepped away from quite some time ago smile

That was exactly my point. To me the Big Mac would be worse than the one off sexual contact with another man. Neither of them, in my view, would FOR ME (sorry can't work out italics) be cheating. I was trying to point out the problem with saying that just because something is done behind the partner's back then it must cheating. If the thing being done is in fact less important to the partner than eating a Big Mac would be, then can it really be called cheating? But once again I fully understand that many of you would consider all these things to be cheating if they happened to you. I just want to make the point that not everyone would feel the same way.

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 22:53:00

Yep,you are right AF,i should have said any cheating is cheating,not just sexual.
I said sexual because the OP had said her's was a sexual liaison.

AnyFucker Tue 12-Feb-13 22:49:06

thecat, turn that one on its head

is it ok for my H to have an emotional, not physical, affair?

lots of men (and women) see only sexual contact as an affair, but I do not

so is it cheating, or not ?

I don't think it is just about an individual's context, really, at all

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