Mumsnet Talk

Maryz... You are right... And I would be mortified to find that out... So yes.. im off to be with my tail between my legs! Thanks for the reality check all!!

Maryz

So you are a 40 year old woman, who has not only has a 'BFF' but then shags them after some wine?! And then posts on mumsnet to ask of its cheating?

Sounds like one for Jeremy Kyle

Thanks katie, like I said, I have had my reality check.... Have you never done something stupid?? I am properly mortified by my behaviour and have noone to blame but myself, but still, I was hoping to have a bit of friendly support here about this mistake

How old are you icie ?

Oh god!thanks toomuch!

She's 40 TD

Obviously.

I am early 40s... And should know better clearly!!

so then put it down to midlife wobbles . You are a good egg hun; don't worry about it

I'm going to be kind and think that BFF was tongue in cheek. My dh wouldn't consider it cheating he says. Real life is gender biased! Why are people suggesting the op is a troll?

Thanksfuckwit... I am definetly not a troll... But boy its an eyeopener with a name change and a dilemma on here!!!

Have you never done something stupid?

Yeah loads of stupid things, but I have never shagged someone else then very casually posted on MN asking if it's cheating... and I would never use the term BFF either

My stupidity is more along the lines of trying to do everything, failing to be very kind to myself and not saying "no" more. Or forgetting to put the colander under the saucepan to drain pasta. Not so much the doing the nasty when pissed with somebody who's not dh and posting about it in the manner of a 14 year old.

It was the drink I'm guessing would it of happened if you were both sober?

If this is genuine, what sort of support are you looking for? Other than asking if it's cheating you've not really said.

Its genuine katie... I dont know what I was looking for when I posted, hindsight is a wonderful thing!

Oh op do stop whining. Don't you realise you cheated on your partner.
In many people's book that's a pretty serious thing. But oh no, you think it's fine to light heartedly come on here wittering on like a teenager about BFFs, and forgetting the fact you cheated!!
What support do you want exactly? You asked a question, is it cheating, and you got answers. Did you expect everyone to say 'aww what a shame, course it's not really cheating hun'

Blimey!

Man sleeps with OW = cheating
Woman sleeps with OM = cheating
Man sleeps with OM = cheating

Woman indulges in a little on-the-side sapphic fun = no harm done.

Who knew?

Have there been some very big upheavals in your life recently ?

How is your relationship with your male partner ?

why don't we test the sterotype and ask hubby to join in next time....taboo but had to be said

Actually a few people have said their partners do not see it as cheating.

People have different views of fidelity. The important thing is what YOUR DP would think. What do you think he would say if you told him?

Blimey indeed!

And the ironic thing is that if this were a mainly male forum I bet the reaction would be completely different (and I'm not talking about the obvious purient interest). I've had this hypothetical conversation with many men in the past, and the vast majority wouldn't consider it as 'proper' cheating and had a similar reaction to the poster's husband above.

Am stepping away now, namechanging back...
Thanks all for making me see clearly the error of my ways

calls for a MN survey i think

Glad that tyou found answers here. MN great for sorting out these dilemnas.