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"If you don't have an abortion then I'll do it for you myself"

(84 Posts)
Kyrptonite Mon 28-Jan-13 13:34:57

This is what "D"P said to me yesterday. I'm 7 weeks pregnant, it would be my third and his fourth. I knew he wasn't happy about it all but this has properly shocked me. I told him to leave, he said try and make him.
I agreed to do it. I don't want to do it, I really don't. I let him bully me into one last year and we had been using condoms. This feels like it should be happening (as wanky as that sounds).

What the fuck do i do? People at work know about the baby, MIL is my manager so she knows but DP doesn't know that anyone else knows (I needed to say it out loud to people so that it sunk in). My head is a fucking mess.

I know he's angry. He probably has a right to be as him bullying me into an abortion is probably no worse than me forcing a child he doesn't want upon him. There is no compromise here is there?

I'm rambling. I needed to get it all out.

carlywurly Tue 05-Feb-13 21:01:24

Your OP title may well be the shittiest thing I've ever read on MN, and that takes some doing. You poor, poor thing.
There is no choice but to have him leave. What he's said is utterly monstrous. You and your dc's will no doubt be harmed by him remaining, be it physically or emotionally.
Don't let your poor little dc's have their childhoods tainted by this. Let the professionals help you out of this situation in the quickest, safest way possible.
Wishing you and your bump all the very best x

henrysmama2012 Tue 05-Feb-13 21:03:28

Having to deal with such a bully must be so hard...you are doing a great thing for you and your DCs by getting away from him. Stay strong and I agree with everyone about staying safe and also letting the police know the situation. What he is doing to your little ones by making them so distressed is just awful. Keep going as you will get through this and things will get better x

Kyrptonite Tue 05-Feb-13 21:17:48

Thank you everyone for your support.
I have let DCs keyworkers at nursery know the situation and to alert me to any issues they see. I work there as well so I have support from work colleagues which has been brilliant.
MIL is aware that I am going to ask him to leave. She agrees that he is a bully and we are better off without him. I feel awful that she is now effectively in the middle but she seems quite pleased to be having another grandchild at the very least!

Now I just have to tell my mum about the baby and decide whether or not to tell her what is going on. If I do then I run the risk of the DCs finding out what he has said years from now and I am not sure if that would ever be the right thing.

Kyrptonite Thu 07-Feb-13 22:05:36

update: he's gone. I think I am slightly in shock but also really relieved. I haven't explained to the DCs yet or told anyone in RL apart from MIL.

Lueji Thu 07-Feb-13 22:24:25

Well, congratulations, or sorts, and hugs.

You are better without, really.
Your MIL sounds great.

I hope all goes well with the pregnancy.

MadonnaKebab Thu 07-Feb-13 23:20:01

Well done you!
Stay strong now

BerylStreep Fri 08-Feb-13 13:09:33

Did he go without a fight?

ouryve Fri 08-Feb-13 19:40:32

Great news and good riddance! Thanks for the update.

hurricanewyn Fri 08-Feb-13 20:29:53

I've been lurking, but just came out of hiding because I'm so glad to see your update.

Stay strong & gather all the RL support you can find arond you.

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