:( Fuck. I mean really

[tiredofwaitingforitalltochange]

Regulars will know me, I've been here on and off in 2012, MNers saw me through my marriage break-up. A thousand thanks as I've said before :)

I was looking to 2013 as the positive breakthrough year, having left EA dh.

The wind's been taken out of my sails this morning, big time.

DM phoned and told me she has breast cancer and will be having surgery in a few days' time (on my 42nd birthday :()
Can't believe it. No family history, no risk factors. She is 73.

Tell me to fuck off and post on Health, I probably should.

But 'Relationships' has been my home for a few months. Please anyone tell me some positive stories. I can't bear the idea of living without my (semi-toxic) mum. I love her so much.

:(

I'm sorry to hear your troubles.

No-one here will tell you to fuck off to the health board.

I've no positive stories about BC (nor negative ones, for that matter).

You're in the right place.

I know lots of positive breast cancer stories tired - in the last few years my aunt, boss and friend's mum - all had it, got treatment and recovered now.

Sending love and best wishes to you and your mum.

Be positive. This was my mother last year, she recovered well from surgery, she has had no recurrence and is doing fine. The older you are, the more likely you are to get it I think, but the less likely to get the most aggressive type. Talk to Breast Cancer Care, Marie Curie or whoever and they will help keep you informed. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and your mother.

I don't know any negative stories personally - but I do know more positive ones than the three examples given above.

Remember that the majority of people who get BC are OK. Yes, there are those who don't do so well, but age is on your Mum's side (the older you are, the better your chances that it will be slow-growing and curable). She needs to get through the surgery, and then you will know a lot more about what sort of cancer it is, and whether she will need any more treatment (possibly nothing or just some hormone treatment). Try not to think of the worst possibilities and concentrate on just getting through the next few days - take it a step at a time. Will you be able to visit before she has her op?

Thanks people.

I know she is having radio and tamoxifen and a WLE. No idea yet if there is LN involvement.

I have a job that means I should know about all this, but I can't engage with it. Feels so different when it's my mum.

Buggering bugger :( You've been through so much - now this!

I have known several people with it, all but one made it through. The one that didn't was young and had a very aggresive type, one very rarely seen in older women. She has every chance of pulling through this - try to be positive.

When will you be able to see her?

It's understandable that your brain can't translate what you know into your Mum's situation. It probably will do in a day or two.

That's because it is different when it's your Mum tiredowfiatc.
She's your Mum - she's not your patient - there's a world of difference.
I too know more positive stories than negative, so, fingers crossed, your Mum will be one of the positives.

It's always scary and horrible when someone you know has cancer - or when you think you might have it yourself. However, the odds really are good that your mum will recover from this; most women who get breast cancer do get through it. Best of luck to you and your mum.

Sorry completely wrong thread

Oh no

Ok...positive story...

My mum was diagnosed with aggressive stage 2/3 BC at the age of 38. She had biopsy, removal of tumour and lymph nodes, 3 months RT and 6 months chemo (IIRC) she is still here, a healthy 52 year old woman who has been cancer free (officially after remission) for 7 years :) cancer treatments have come on in leaps and bounds in recent years. I know there are no guarantees or certainties but chances are, your mum will be fine. just concentrate on supporting your mum and have a frigging good cry if you need to. I was 16 nearly 17 when my mum was diagnosed and I spend ALOT of my time alone fretting and crying so I could be strong for my mum if she needed it.

One of my very best friends had breast cancer aged 50. She ran marathons so was very healthy.

She had the lump and several lymph nodes removed and had radiotherapy, tamoxifen etc and eventually reconstruction due to the misshapen nipple (for hygiene, not vanity). She has now had her third clear mammogram.

I was fortunate enough to be the friend she called on to be with her. She never, ever gave up hope and the fight.
Cancer doesn't always spell the end.

Positive support is an important factor I think, and your Mum has you. Be as strong as you know you can be and your Mum will take strength in that.
All the best for you both.x

My friend aged 48 was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. She has had chemo and radiotherapy. Had test done to see if it was 'gene' breast cancer. It was. She opted for double mastectomy. Had the op on 7th December with reconstruction.it was a 10 hour op. All went well. Last week just had the great news that she is cancer free. Biopsies had been done on the tissue removed. She will go back for routine checks. Your mum has good positive support with you so will gain strength from each other. Sending my best wishes to you and your mum.

Its good to know that she is on Tamoxifen OP as that means she has a hormonal BC and is the best sort to have if your going to get it. Not as aggressive and treated more easily.

Positive story from me too.
Diagnosed with a rare form of BC when I was only in my mid 30s - low survival rate.
Still here! Clear and doing well.

That was 6 years ago!

My aunt and my DM's best friend have both had BC. I can't remember the details as it was so long ago and they're both still around! And now in their early, and very lively, 70's
My DF died of cancer 10 years ago (in his 60s) and sadly it was the 'never going to the doctor' type and had spread.
It's so so scary but I personally (and fortunately) haven't heard a negative BC story

Oh, and a friend of a friend (only 40) had it two years ago. Hard hard times. She had a mastectomy and lots of chemo but ofc she is still around too! And an almost terrifying powerhouse of a woman (teacher, cycler, protester & organiser).

To say something cliched and crap; these things are sent to try us, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and (boak) you only find out how string a woman is when you put her in hot water (boakboakboak)

String

So sorry. [unmumsnetty hug]
My nan had BC eight years ago when she was 75. She is now 83 and apart from moaning about general aches and pains that 83year olds do, she is fine.
Someone told me the cancer grows slower the older you are, not sure how true this is though

Positive mental attitude, positive mental attitude!!

Sorry you have this worry on top of everything else. Hope you mum is okay.

keep posting.xx

I know of two people who had breast cancer. One in her 20's. one in her 70's. Both had treatment and breast removal. 10 years later one is still here, one has passed away (cancer but not breast cancer). It really is a lottery.

Put all your energies into what you want to do with regards to your mum and don't waste any emotions on your ex.

HI

Positive this end as well, my aunt who was 58 at the time, had a mamogram and they found a cluster of cells, her's was hormonal and she had chemo, and made a full recovery, the next year she also had a full hysterectomy for something unrelated and recovered fully from that as well.

x

two positive stories from me aswell! x