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DH not happy because I didn't do enough for his birthday

(78 Posts)
PeppaPigStinks Fri 04-Jan-13 22:01:41

I think i need to vent- somewhere!! Sorry i think its long. The last few weeks have been awful I have had hyperemesis and only just feel human again but am very tired. - it was dh birthday today and Although I bought a card, didn't have time to get dd to 'sign' it until he gt home. He has just said least he wanted was a card first thing this morning.

In the past I've bought him clothes, computer games and other pointless crap. He moans about it. Clothes have never been good enough and have gone back or not worn. He has just told me a present would have been nice. As money is very tight we get a certain amount to spend each month on ourselves - I put at least 20 percent of this away each month and managed to save 100 to get something for him. I suggested a year pass to the zoo so he could take dd and it means we have a 'free' day out for a year. I think he wanted something more for him which I can kind of see, but we don't do much activity based days as a family as money is tight. I had asked numerous times what he wanted and he said nothing.

I had planned to make a cake with dd today but he bought and subsequently forgot cakes for work this morning so I thought I'd just put a candle in them and sing happy birthday. However - my dad turned up and needed help with some DIY and friends popped in to give him a card while I was cooking tea for us all. Because of this tea was late, I couldn't do the cake prep and dd was shattered and had to go to bed!

We have just had a row and I feel utterly crap. Feel like I really struggle to keep on top of everything and he just doesn't notice or will pick fault in what I have done!

I know I've fcked up but really- was there any need to highlight it!!!confused

lemonstartree Sat 05-Jan-13 13:24:17

sorry I agree with the others.

For DP birthday I had arranged to spend the day in London, just with him. Calling in favours so the DC could be looked after, researching an exhibition (free) to go to, booking a small (cheap) place for lunch - planning a walk later. It didn't cost much (less than the £100) but we had a wonderful day. For my birthday, DP bought me small, thoughtful things (a few) , made me breakfast in bed, and pampered me. I think we both felt special, And I don't think you did anything to make you DH feel important or personally special, I would have been pissed off too if I were him....

insanityscratching Sat 05-Jan-13 13:40:55

Dh once forgot my birthday cake (I don't even eat cake but it's a birthday ritual here even if my birthday is on Christmas Day) Dd has never let him forget it so much so that every year she says "do you remember the year Daddy forgot?" grin It's a new ritual now where dh takes dd to choose a cake each year.
I understand he was disappointed but I do think he didn't talk about it with you well.
I might only buy dh token gifts but I do cook his favourite meal and pamper him a little.

Booblesonthetree Sat 05-Jan-13 14:02:06

peppa this time last year I was heavily pg, no HG but had bad sickness and heartburn which was enough. It's also DH's birthday at this time of year. He got a card off me and the DC's that DD made and an IOU! I totally forgot it was his birthday so soon after Christmas and had to improvise...
Do you know what his response was? After he stopped laughing (yes, AT me!) he said he didn't mind and made us both a brew. I got him something as a late present and we saved up a meal out for after the baby was born. That was it. He didn't get upset, he understood, because he's a bloody grown up!
Sorry but your DH needs to be more understanding about this unless he's actually 8 years old...

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