Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
Been together a year, never had sex
(134 Posts)I'm a regular but have name changed though I think I'll still be recognised.
Background so as not to drip feed: I'm 24 and have been with my absolutely brilliant bf (32) for a year. We live together, he's my best friend, doting male role model to my toddler dd. I really can't speak more highly if him. The problem is me.
My daughter is 2.7. I had a horrendous birth including: 3a tear with failed stitching in theatre, MROP, PPH, rectocele, full restitch at 3months postnatal including rectocele repair. All aged 21. My dd's father left us when she was 2 weeks old and has seen her just 5 times in her life.
Since all these birth problems I have been absolutely phobic of sex. It literally terrifies me. I have tried it three times before I met my bf just to "get on with it" but each time the bloke was so rough I bled. My fear is of re tearing.
I had my restitch privately by a fab surgeon and have been checked umpteen times by her, colleagues, GPs, women's physio, and just for an Mot a sexual health doctor who have all insisted I'm anatomically fine. It's in my head 
I've been to a psychosexual counsellor, tried dilators, massage I just can't process the thought of full intercourse.
My boyfriend is amazing. He doesn't push me or probe me at all. We regularly do everything else including oral and fingers which I love it's the thought of intercourse that I fear.
Due to my PPh at birth I had subsequent period problems too so have both a coil and the pill together .
I really want to get on with it. We love each other like crazy and I'm so grateful for him putting up with me. I'm just scared. Please help.
God that was long,
I DID IT!!!!!!!
Bf's mum has taken dd to the farm so we had a lovely pub lunch and afternoon at home to get jiggy 
tmi but we spent a good hour of foreplay before he entered me. He didn't finish coz I started to feel a bit sore but ummm 3mins in me!
Woohoo! 
What an amazing feeling - well done you!
That is such incredible news! Congrats and well done!
I will try to use it to give hope to my situation and helps it helps others too
it was no mean earth shattering, purely mechanical I'd say! And he didn't finish but sod it I had a willy in me!
i am preganant after months of not being able to do "it" I decided to go get vagiwave and "did it" and now am going to be a mummy yeaaaaaay
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more. Register now
Already registered? Log in to leave your comment.
Talk: Customise | Unanswered messages | Getting started | Acronyms | FAQs
Threads: Active | I'm on | I'm watching | I started | Last 15 minutes | Last hour | Last Day
