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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year? So, Let's Go Up A Gear!

(1000 Posts)
ChristMouseTimeMistletoeNoWine Wed 26-Dec-12 21:54:45

Hello, tis me, Mouse (normally Mouseface but I'm wearing my festive name smile)

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, to a place of solace, support and sanctuary, if that's what you seek of course. It's also a Bus full of bloomin' chatterboxes, waffling on about life, love and all things from school reports to laundry! grin

The journey into 2013 is going to be an ass kicking one as we're moving up a gear to give the WineWitch a bloody good slapping, and the BoozeBeast a kick in the bollo............. grin

Some of us drink in moderation, some of us drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want. smile

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes. The support on this Bus has kept me from ruining my life time and time again. The experiences of others shared here has helped me to change the way I see alcohol, the way I see what it does to me.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

Everyone is welcome here so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hi. Post as much or as little as you like!

So, come say hi, grab a seat, an eggnog (non alcoholic of course wink) and a mince pie, or chocolate chip cookie, and meet some lovely, genuine people who are just like YOU.

Also, HERE IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD with a link in the OP to the first ever thread, and the reason why after more than two and a half years, this thread is still here, supporting those in need. smile

PurpleWolfe Thu 03-Jan-13 17:39:11

Joey! You've made me choke on my Super Noodles!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hmm, getting a bit of the '3 day twitches' as well as the 'thursday' twitches! I normally work Mon - Thurs, which = drinking on thursday nights, and even though I wasn't at work today it's been a long day with dd and ds - cat shopping grin and entertaining..Dh home in front of the cricket - I've hidden all the drink (except for a half bottle of red wine) and am cooking a nice curry but feeling a bit...restless. I would go to the gym but it will be packed as usual this time of year with idiots who jin on the 1st Jan as it is every sodding year and that will just enrage me further. I do have [sick secret] the new 'take a break' and I guess Celeb Big bro for later, but it's the next few hours!! help!!

HueyMorganismyboyfriend Thu 03-Jan-13 18:10:27

Hello babes, I am a babe from way back who tentatively hopped on the bus last year. A longstanding lurker but for some reason feel compelled to post. I have been 'dry' since the end of October. 11 weeks or 71 days whichever way you look at it. Have just done my first ever sober xmas and NYE and it was bloody brilliant! Much better than I ever envisaged. I am making amends to my family, am repairing my relationship with my teenage ds and looking forward to the future.

I managed to do this by gritting my teeth and getting on with it, AA meetings which I use to remind myself that there are many folk out there who feel the way I do and that there is hope out there and a life without the need to drink. I to was a daily 3 bottles a day girl! I have done all the usual controlled drinking GP alcohol services, and attempted some SMART meetings (but they were too spread out. For me timewise. I needed something everyday in the early days hence AA. And of course daily lurking on the bus.

I suppose what I am trying to say is, keep at it, keep busy during those crap moments and give EVERYTHING out there a go, and it DOES get easier and routine not to pick up. I am not an Aa evangelist by any means but the rooms do allow me to get my head in order for an hour or so. I mainly go and listen and have met two kindred spirits who literally make me howl with laughter. I'd say my story and my recovery is similar to Koala's

To all those babes struggling KEEP AT IT! If I can abstain, any bugger can!

Take care. Huey xxxx

guggenheim Thu 03-Jan-13 18:22:00

Hello holly - tell the ww to fuck off! I know exactly what you mean and one of my triggers is going to the shops after 4 ish in the afternoon. So I'm in bed now with my coursework (well mn, actually) and I'm not shifting till the ww has fucked off for the night. How are you doing?

mia that dinner does sound nice. What time are you expecting us? Blimey it would be like the beginning scene of The Hobbit if we all showed up unexpectedly..

curry that was some interesting analysis earlier on. Do you think that alcoholism is caused by things that happen to us or that we choose bad habits?

huey that was a very nice post. I hope to be able to post the same one day in the long distant future.

what's 'ww' <thick> Feeling ok right now - watching the rivetting local news programme grin mad, me.

I hate being like this though sad I so don't want to 'have a drink problem' I know I have, I KNOW it. However much I pretend I haven't. Bugger!
I wish AA had worked - it was a shame I got involved with the AA-ers who were, quite frankly 'odd'. Problem is they permeated all the meetings here. I will try to fathom out the SMART website (it is tricky isn;t it??) Have registered but can't get the hang of it at all! As soon as all the January gymmers bugger off from my gym (next week grin) I'll be back there though and when I get back to work properly hopefully things will be easier. huey, I so know how you feel. Did it for almost a year once and was so proud...

aliasjoey Thu 03-Jan-13 19:04:54

ww = Wine Witch. although I prefer to think of her as a naughty ttoddler, the kind who is really demanding and you have to be firm for their own good.

huey the local AA meeting is monthly but the SMART ones are weekly..?

HueyMorganismyboyfriend Thu 03-Jan-13 19:09:27

I know how irrational and illogical the wine witch can make us feel. Playing the scenario out until the end and one day at a time are my mantra's atm. My life is far from perfect. I have lost 2 jobs in 2 years to the drink and totally fucked up a good career. Am skint and my family are still wary and rightly so. But there is a glimmer of hope, hope that has not been there for ages.

This bus is such a wonderful place, bless all who ride in her xx

HueyMorganismyboyfriend Thu 03-Jan-13 19:16:08

Joey I live in a place that has daily meets, but I did drive to the nearest city about half hour drive away over christmas as all my local ones were shut for the festive period. SMART were weekly but only on during the day. I needed something more regular in the early days. I treated it like anything else you start, go with an open mind and take from it what you want to. You soon suss out who are the kindred spirits and who are the nutters. Hope SMART is useful for you. It is a good programme

greeneyed Thu 03-Jan-13 19:18:07

WW is wine witch - the voice that tries to persuade us having a drink is a good idea - she can be very persuasive and will try every trick in the book - the good thing is if you ignore her she does go away after a while

This bus moves so fast! Glad I jumped on earlier or think it would have went right past me! Took the tree & decorations down which feels like the clutter is clearing a bit. New year & feeling really optimistic about not being such a drunken lush this year. Your new cat smudge sounds lovely holly hope he settles in well with you all, cats are definitely low maintenance pets. curry I can so relate to having those drunken conversations. Last bad one was last year was out with friend & we went back to hers, then I said better go as working in the morning. She looked gutted & said we had planned I was staying for her birthday, phoning in Chinese, having a nice night in. I really couldn't remember & realised the last time I spoke to her I'd been drinking wine at the time sad Hope everyone's managing to kick the wine witches but tonight! Love the analogy of her being a naughty toddler (altho don't think I should be kicking my naughty toddlers butt...should I ?!! ) mouse sorry your having such a shit time, you are one amazing woman for staying so strong & positive, good things will be coming your way soon. purple huge hugs for you sweetie (((((( )))))) hope you start feeling brighter soon. Being friends with TF may be more fun & a good way to really get to know one another without all the other awkward feelings getting on the way....maybe? smile

greeneyed Thu 03-Jan-13 19:22:18

She's hanging out here at the moment and will probably be here for a couple of hours - I cannot physically eat anymore today so I think I'll go hide from her upstairs (and evil nic her fag pushing sidekick!)

greeneyed Thu 03-Jan-13 19:24:46

Huey sounds like things are going well - good for you x

Sorry mouse if that last comment read like something from 'your daily horoscope' just from all you've wrote about things and from what an amazing, brave babe it feels like you are due a change of luck. I agree with being positive & thankful for all that is good. Trying to instil this in my 13 yr old dd....not always easy! X

Tigerinthegrass Thu 03-Jan-13 19:31:34

Hi room for a little one? I'm on my 4th night af after making an arse of myself on New Years Eve's eve. Gave myself hangover from hell with total paranoia that I'd killed my liver this time. Does anyone else get pains in back & legs from drinking? Anyways been good since then and promised myself a dry jan hopefully leading to a longer period. I'm desperate to shed some wine weight too. This bus goes so fast though going to struggle to keep up!

Greyhound Thu 03-Jan-13 19:33:53

Not coping at all. My husband and I haven't talked properly for months. He is a former binge drinker who has been sober for many years. The last year has been awful. He never shows affection unless I ask for it and we have sex three times a year at the most and only from my advances.

I can't face a life like this lasting until old age. The only factor that stops me leaving is our lovely ds. It would shatter him if his dad and I sepetated.

I have tried and tried and tried. However, I am beginning to feel I can't stand this controlling man anymore. He doesn't let me wear jewellery and makes snide comments about me being fat.

I feel so trapped. He says he loves me but does nothing to show it.

greeneyed Thu 03-Jan-13 20:09:48

Greyhound, I have no advice but I'm very sorry, do you want to get out?

aliasjoey Thu 03-Jan-13 20:22:07

tiger welcome, you will have to run to keep up - the Bus is moving very fast at the moment! is that because of Christmas and New year I wonder

greyhound aww luv big hugs to you, have no real advice but I am thinking of you

determinedma Thu 03-Jan-13 20:26:17

tiger welcome. Always room for a little one in amongst these lard arses <just back from evening walk smug emoticon>
The bus doesn't always hurtle along at this pace, I think New Year has given a lot of people a fright/wakeup call/new determination. Stick with is and it will calm down soon.
greyhound I can empathise with a lot of what you just posted, really I can. My current determination to change is partly because of a situation similar to what you describe and I will have many other changes to make too! I don't know what to say to help you though - try not to let him in your head. Keep a bit of you for you that he can't control.
purple <whispers> joey is after your bloke.....

Greyhound Thu 03-Jan-13 20:37:03

Thanks so much, Babes. Will write more tomorrow but just wanted to thank you. I won't break my son's heart but some things must change.

greeneyed Thu 03-Jan-13 20:47:19

Greyhound so hard - I have thought I didn't want to be in this marraige quite a bit of this year I really think I've had some sort of mid life crisis - but I am coming out of the other side of it and I DO want my husband and my life _ actually not sure what came over me have questioned everything, rewritten the past etc etc - could your DH be having some similar sort of crisis (assuming this has just been the last year) anyway don't know what I'm trying to say, just perhaps if it has just been bad a year it might turn round again.

determinedma Thu 03-Jan-13 20:54:39

greyhound stay strong, carve out tiny moments for yourself, tiny triumphs and victories. And start salting away some cash - even small change if that's all you've got.
Oh, and trawl back a few pages and found the poem I posted. Its called The Journey. I read it often and it gives me hope

PurpleWolfe Thu 03-Jan-13 21:00:27

<Blows kisses to Clutter and Ma and sends hugs to Grey>

OMFG Guys! You think we have problems!!?? You HAVE to watch 'My Monkey Baby'! These people are seriously screwed!!! xxxxxxxxxx

aliasjoey Thu 03-Jan-13 21:04:17

greyhound you say it would break your sons heart, but think about the example it sets for him as to how relationships survive... do you want him to grow up believing that it is ok for one person to belittle or bully another?

and listen to ma she knows what she's talking about

determinedma Thu 03-Jan-13 21:24:18

alias don't think anyone has ever said that about me before.I usually talk shite grin
Are the new Babes sticking with us as we speed along? pippin * tiger*

Tigerinthegrass Thu 03-Jan-13 21:48:42

<hanging on> still here, having my mind numbed watching celeb big brother :-/

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