Wine has been taken so I hope this makes sense...
Long story which I won't go into here but basically am splitting up with DD's father - been "together" for eight years (never lived together - DD is 4) because, primarily, of OW. OW is symptom not cause but not great situation either way. Anyway, I found out about OW in September. He'd first shagged her a year before but nothing serious until about May of last year. She knew nothing about me or DD until after I'd found out about her and "made" him tell her. She still doesn't know the whole story - he's let her believe we finished in May.
Basically, he's been dithering between the two of us since September but I finally put a halt to this before Christmas.
Now, it turns out, that she is moving right across the country and they are moving in together. If it were just her, I would just think "oh get on with it" but it isn't. She has a son of (approx) nine years old from a previous relationship so she will be taking him out of school and away from friends etc (of course, I don't know this - he may hate his school and want to leave for all I know) to start all over again.
So, do I tell her that he has not been as completely committed to her as it would appear? And that he has been lying to her all along or do I just leave it? And if I do tell her, what are my motives? I like to think it's because of her son but it may not be. I may just be being vindictive.
I have asked my ex to tell her the truth; to give her the chance to make a decision based on all the facts; but I don't think he will.
I also think that even if did tell her, it would make no difference. I think she will believe that she is more special, etc.
Perhaps I would retain more dignity by simply not getting involved. What do you think?
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Relationships
So, do I tell her or not?
BelleDameSansMerci · 06/02/2012 23:11
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