Teacher humiliating reception child for wetting pants

(62 Posts)
TalkingToTheWoodlice Fri 18-Jan-13 00:02:16

In front of the whole class. It's always wrong isn't it? However often the child does it and whether or not the teacher thinks it was avoidable. I know the answer really but I need galvanizing to report it.

happynewmind Tue 22-Jan-13 14:41:22

When we were having problems consultant said not to make a big deal, to change and say nothing, no positive and no negative attention.

I can't imagine any consultant recommending a FOUR year old is humiliated infront of the whole class, anxiety makes it worse never Mind opening up to bullying.

I can't imagine ANY situation where this would be ok for a infant child.

*resign

Poor child, yes we don't know the whole story which is why we haven't all marched down there demanding the teacher resgin immediately (though we might like to). As a parent helper it is not the OP's place to be disciplining the teacher, but it is her duty to report to the head teacher, they can then discuss with the teacher the 'full situation' and devise an appropriate plan of action. As she has done, well done OP.

cory Mon 21-Jan-13 16:26:17

snowybrrr Mon 21-Jan-13 15:49:48
"You don't know the history of the child.Some kids wet because they can't be bothered to go to the toilet or because they want attention.The teacher may bw working with the parent/HV oe paediatrician and have been told to give no sympathy or positive attention to the child. "

In that case she is hardly following instructions if she is ranting to the child about germs in front of the whole class. The paed will be fuming if he finds out. Is it possible that a teacher could be so stupid as to think this if carrying out instructions about not giving positive attention? I wouldn't like to think it.

That's true no one does know the history but I think it is possible to not give positive attention without humiliating the child. Surely it would just involve not giving any attention at all. A quick clean up- no talking kind of thing.

snowybrrr Mon 21-Jan-13 15:49:48

You don't know the history of the child.Some kids wet because they can't be bothered to go to the toilet or because they want attention.The teacher may bw working with the parent/HV oe paediatrician and have been told to give no sympathy or positive attention to the child.

happynewmind Mon 21-Jan-13 15:01:48

"snowybrrr Mon 21-Jan-13 12:45:40
It depends.You were only there as a helper.You don't know the whole story wrt this child

Its a four year old girl!
How on earth is standing a child on a carpet and leaving them wet for free minutes and humiliating them infront of their classmates going to do anything other than make the child more anxious and more likely to wet!

Children who have a huge deal made out of wetting either day or night take much longer to get dry because anxiety makes the situation MUCH worse.

Moominsarehippos Mon 21-Jan-13 14:40:43

What a shame! I peed my pants in year 1 all over my chair. It was at the end of the day and I very very carefully put my chair up on my table (as we did at the end of the day). No one ever told me off for it though!

That's awful sad poor child. Teacher in wrong job if she can't handle the odd accident it happens. Report!!!

steppemum Mon 21-Jan-13 14:32:01

my poor dd1 ws always having accidents in reception. The TA was lovley and looked after her and reminded her about going to the loo etc. I would have been heartbroken to have this humiliation for her. A child who repeatedly wets themselves needs help not telling off sad

torychicetc Mon 21-Jan-13 14:25:42

Awful really awful could put a young child off enjoying school

elliejjtiny Mon 21-Jan-13 13:05:39

That's awful, definately report it. Accidents happen in reception, DS2's teacher comes out with 2-3 carrier bags with wet pants in every day to hand out to the parents.

I agree with Cory, nothing the child has or has done can condone the teachers actions.

At dc school we have washing machine and tumble dryer so we can clean the children's clothes before they go home.

cory Mon 21-Jan-13 12:58:28

snowybrrr Mon 21-Jan-13 12:45:40
"It depends.You were only there as a helper.You don't know the whole story wrt this child. "

And what could the whole story be? Even if the child does have behavioural issues regarding toilet training, who with any insight into child behaviour would believe that those could be solved by public humiliation?

snowybrrr Mon 21-Jan-13 12:45:40

It depends.You were only there as a helper.You don't know the whole story wrt this child.

happynewmind Mon 21-Jan-13 12:39:30

Definately follow it up OP and make sure it is not swept under the carpet, my sen dd would not have told me this had happened but would have been heartbroken.

happynewmind Mon 21-Jan-13 12:31:05

I would hit the roof.

I have worked in reception, its completely common for accidents to happen. even in year 1 and 2 I have cleaned them up, no fuss!

Dc1 has bladder issues and when she wet herself in school a couple of days running the school were most apologetic that she had not been noticed and given chance to change and that she had wet herself in first place and she is 10!

"Stood child up on carpet and berrated her not trying, making a mess, spreading germs. Left her to stand wet and crying for five minutes."

I would be complaining to the head, the governers and ofsted over this! I would want teacher to publically apologise and to face discipline.

Its things like this that cause bullying!

pluCaChange Mon 21-Jan-13 11:57:23

Poor child! My DS's reception block has showers: that's how set up they are for accidents.

Leaving them wet - NOT ok, especially in this weather.
Leaving them crying - even worse.
Berating them - absolutely not.

The fact that it's not your child should make your position easier with the head.

Good luck.

FeniaB Mon 21-Jan-13 11:43:32

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

educator123 Fri 18-Jan-13 22:25:59

This is awful my dd1 was only jsut four when starting in reception and had several accidents, i would have been so sad and angry if this had happened...to the point of considering movings schools.
Thank goodness the teachers were supportive at the time.

Poor child, its so sad that we leave our children at a school trusting them to be looked after and supported and there is a risk of this unreversible damage!

Wolfiefan Fri 18-Jan-13 22:02:13

Children do have accidents. These should be dealt with discreetly and without humiliating them. There are safeguarding issues (eg one adult taking a child off to clean up) but this should not be dealt with publicly.

Vicar. That's awful. Lovely to "see" you about BTW!

Dozer Fri 18-Jan-13 21:55:22

sad

ledkr Fri 18-Jan-13 21:24:11

Report her how date she?
My ds poohed in reception and ds 1 happened to go into the loos for a wee and saw the nursery nurse scrubbing his skin with a paper towel and berating him. He was half naked in full view. Ds went mad and cleaned him up himself.
I complained but head wasn't bothered so I took all three if mine out.

TreadOnTheCracks Fri 18-Jan-13 21:18:32

Yes you must report.

You may never find out if anything happens though. I imagine the teacher would be spoken to. Tricky.

Pozzled Fri 18-Jan-13 20:35:19

OP, well done for talking to the head. Please do follow it up, the teacher needs to know it's not acceptable. My DD1 is in reception, and has had several wetting incidents recently, we think because of UTIs. Luckily her teacher and TAs are very kind and discreet and do the 'quick change and quiet chat with parents' that a poster above described.

I'm not sure what I would do if my DD was treated like the OP describes, but I would certainly lose any respect for that teacher.

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