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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

Ds 12, childminding issue - what can i do with him afterschool

34 replies

Stepmumm · 27/06/2012 17:49

Bit of background, ds is 12, not very mature or wise to the world. Goes to a school not near home and has previously got school bus to childminders. Childminder has now finished and in reality he's too old for one. Problem is what to do with him after he finishes school until i finish work - its not feasible to get the bus home.

So where can i get him to go/wait safely for an hour or so after school has closed until i finish work.

Anyone got any ideas?

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AnyoneForTennis · 27/06/2012 17:50

Local library?

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 27/06/2012 18:04

Can he get the bus to your work?

There's a club at our local sports centre; maybe there's something similar at yours?

Encourage him to sign up to any after school activites at school? Is there a homework club at school; are they allowed to stay in the library and do their homework?

Stepmumm · 27/06/2012 18:04

Library is a good idea. They have computers too don't they

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Stepmumm · 27/06/2012 18:05

Jenna, he does all the after school clubs, and could come to me at work, but due to security he would have to wait outside.

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JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 27/06/2012 18:28

Ah, I was vaguely hoping it would be a long enough journey to solve that problem!

Is there anywhere near your office rather than near school that might work? How long would he have to wait until you finished? If it's only half an hour, he could sit in a caff for an after school snack and get on with his homework maybe?

It's tricky, isn't it.

seeker · 27/06/2012 18:33

Can he get himself home?

outtolunchagain · 27/06/2012 18:37

Is there an older child/teenager who does the same journey who might be happy to accompany him home and wait until you get home ,for a small fee of course!

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 27/06/2012 18:59

The OP says it's not feasible for him to get himself home; I assume they live miles from a bus route or something.

ByTheWay1 · 27/06/2012 19:03

School library? Do they have a homework club? Often kids stay a couple of hours in the reading corner at our school library, either doing homework research, or just catching up on their reading.

Stepmumm · 27/06/2012 19:05

He'd have to get 2 or 3 buses to get home, don't think he could go that yet. I'll investigate the cafe/library options. I think this is a tricky age for childcare as they're too old but not old enough to be left (depending on maturity)

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seeker · 27/06/2012 19:06

Sorry- just noticed that. Really not feasible? So he'll never be able to get himself home- he'll have to wait for you every nifty until he's 18? And if he needs to stay late qt school for a rehearsal or something you'll have to wait for him?

Stepmumm · 27/06/2012 19:07

By the way - he stays as long as he can at school, uses all the extra after school sessions, library there, until they're kicked out!

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Stepmumm · 27/06/2012 19:08

Seeker, of course not until he's 18! I would hope another year or 2 i'll (and he) will feel okay getting home

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GetOrfMoiiLand · 27/06/2012 19:11

I would let him have a go at the bus - I know it is difficult sometimes but I think at 12 that is old enough to change buses etc. He doesn't have to do it every night but think it would be a good idea for him to have a go, so on evenings where he doesn't want to wait in the library he can just make his way home. DD got herself home on 3 buses when she was 13 - not every night but it was really useful knowing that she could make her way home when needed.

seeker · 27/06/2012 19:12

Sorry to hassle you, but what's the problem with him getting home by himself? He's what- year 8?

seeker · 27/06/2012 19:13

And it does mean that you can never have a day off sick!

boredandrestless · 27/06/2012 19:17

I went to a secondary school that was two bus rides there and two back everyday from being 11. Maybe you could let him try the journey home? Could someone do a few runs with him to test it out?

yellowflowers · 27/06/2012 19:20

Bicycle?

teacherwith2kids · 27/06/2012 19:26

I'm hoping that 12 is old enough to be left because, from his first day at secondary, my 11 year old will be

Getting himself up (DH, DD and i leave house at 7.15)
Making himself breakfast
Walking himself to school - about a mile
Returning home, getting a snack, often doing some homework, otherwise taking himself off to e.g. music lessons which he has outside school

before anyone else joins him...

OK, he doesn't have the bus issue, but he will have everything else, from the very first day of Year 7 (he was going to do it for his taster day next week as well, but in fact DH can be at home that morning to see him off, though the after school bit will be as above)

Even in Year 6, DS returns home at least 1 night a week from school, gets a snack, and walks himself across town to a sports club, where I meet him at 6.30. Did that a couple of times in Year 5 for practice, now doing it every week...also does a 'drop off at dance lesson' run for DD (9) one evening a week every now and again for me...

OK, my position might be a bit 'far out' for your comfort - but you probably need to start trying to make your DS a little more independent...

exoticfruits · 27/06/2012 19:27

I would try the getting home himself-he really isn't going to like kicking his heels, passing time 5 days a week.

nailak · 27/06/2012 19:29

I say he is old enough, like others I managed 2 or 3 buses to get home and my own breakfast and tea from 11, and my birthday is July so I was just about 11. Before school I did a couple of practice runs with my mum and without to get used to it.

Stepmumm · 27/06/2012 19:30

I hear what you're all saying but i really think it depends on the child, he isn't the brightest or mature. Whereas my other ds, 9, would manage it now!

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seeker · 27/06/2012 19:35

Could you tell us what the journey's like? To be honest, he's more likely to bget into trouble if he has to hang around waiting for you! And what about the point that he's stranded if you're ill or something?

MarianForrester · 27/06/2012 19:35

I would agree; really depends on the child.

I might be inclined to find another childminder (or another mum who might be interested?) for a short while until he is safe to travel alone? Or someone to drop him home? If he'd be ok there by himself.

shrimponastick · 27/06/2012 19:39

I would say that he needs to have a go at using the buses to get himself home.

The summer holidays are an ideal time to practice!

DS is in yr 9 now, and has caught a bus to his school since starting yr 7. I went with him a couple of times so he knew the route and how to pay etc. It is only the one bus - so easier than your DS situation, but he may surprise you.

Will there be other children from his school doing the same trip?

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