2 Beautiful Angels born alive at 20 weeks - Both died just over an hour later

(59 Posts)
Becky150409 Mon 11-May-09 17:48:15

Our Story ( it's kind of a novel sorry )- Hopefully our experience will help other people to know they are not alone.

My Husband and I had been trying for a baby for the last 6 years after 3 years we found out that my tubes were completely closed and had only a 1 in a million chance of conceiving naturally, so we decided to try ivf. We were so excited to learn on christmas day that we were pregnant after our third implant. I started to bleed at 7 and a half weeks and we were devistated to think that we were losing our baby. I went to the hospital and was given an ultrasound they found that we had 2 sacs 1 had a heartbeat and 1 didn't. We were sad that one of our eggs didnt make it but were happy that one still did.but I was still very anxious.The doctors told me that the bleeding was most likely the sac that did not have a heart beat and i would have to pass it. Later that night I lost a huge clot so I went back to the hospital the next day to make sure that it was the one that did not have a heartbeat and you can imagine my surprise when they were doing the scan and the doctors and nurses were looking intently at the screen saying are you seeing this. I hadn't been game enough to look at the screen in case it was bad news as the last time I had been pregnant I got to 11 weeks and found out that it had died at 9 weeks. When I looked at the screen I seen there was suddenly 2 heartbeats it was absolutley amazing. I had never been so happy in my life. It was still early so I didn't want to get too carried away but you just can't help it. then we had another scare at 15 weeks when i went for a nt scan and the doctors said that t2 had too much fluid behind his neck and i need an amnio test because he had a 1 in 2 and 1 in 4 chance of having 3 serious syndromes. we had the test and after 2 weeks of waiting we found out that we had dodged all 3 bullits the baby was fine and we found out that he was a boy. At 19 weeks we found out that our T1 was a girl it was just perfect. on the 03.04.09 I started losing a brown discharge and had mild cramping and worried i went to the hospital I was told it was nothing to worry about, it's old blood. this continued to happen and I kept going back to the hospital worried I just felt something was wrong they did scans and told me I had a short cervix of 2.3cms and i asked if i should be worried as i knew twins never went full term and i had my daughter when I was 16 and she came 5 weeks early. they told me they would monitor it. i asked if I should give up work and have bed rest and was told " we will see where you are in 4 weeks" i told them I work in a management position and i am constantly on my feet, and i read that the brown discharge before 22 weeks can be a sign of late miscarriage and was told that i could stay at work i was fine and told not to read my books anymore. 1.30am on the 15th of April i had mild cramping and couldn't tell if it was pressure pain or actual pain so i called the hospital. they told me to come in I called my husband home from work and we went to the hospital. I had a nurse feel my stomach and after a short while she told me that I had had 2 contractions in 10 mins i told her i can't be having contractions as I was only 20 weeks to the day. the registrar did an internal and said that my cervix was open and made a hand gesture of approximatley a tennis ball. she told me not to worry they could do a stitch but she had to see her supervisor. when her supervisor came down she did not even recheck she just said from what she had been told my cervix was closed i asked her to recheck and she said that she didn't need to! they did a quick scan and the babies were fine playing as they do they gave me a shot of buscopan and morphine and told me I would be in for a couple of days to monitor me. I was moved to a ward. Another doctor came to see me at 7.30am and told me that I needed a patch to stop the labour. My husband and i continuely asked for the patch several times and still had not recieved it when they sent me for another ultrasound at 11.30am again both babies were fine they were playing and kicking each other and trying to hold hands through the membrane. the radiographer said that they were fine and still high in the pelvis so i started to breath again but i wanted the patch that they had spoke of as the doctor said it takes a while to work. when i went back upstairs i asked for it again and they finally brought it to me at 1.30pm i sent my husband home because I thought every thing was going to be alright now and he had been up for 50 hours. I was moved to a private room I am not sure why i was trying to rest and all of a sudden with no warning my waters broke at 2.30pm. I called for the nurse and it took them over 5 minutes to come in and told me they only came in because I was crying. I was taken down to delivery. My husband turned up at about 3pm and our beautiful Phoebe was born at 3.16pm she weighed only 280grams and she was 24.5cms long I thought she had been born dead as they didn't move her then our beautiful Dylan came at 3.17pm and landed straight on Phoebe's head and they left him there too. My mother turned up not long after they were born approximately 5-10minutes and the babies were still between my legs uncovered. I was hysterical and told my mother that we had lost them. She went up to look at the twins and then she noticed they were breathing and their hearts were beating. she informed the nurse and she said " well I'll get a blanket then" we asked them to help the babies and the staff informed us that it was legislation that babies under 24 weeks can not be assisted. they told us to spend time with our babies and say goodbye. Our Phoebe lived for just over an hour and Our Dylan lived for an hour and 15 minutes. although they were only here a short time they will be loved always.

sweetkitty Mon 11-May-09 17:54:17

I don't know what to say but wanted to leave you a message. Firstly congratulations on the birth of Phoebe and Dylan, I think it's always important to say that. Secondly. so sorry you lost them and I am so angry at the treatment you received at the hospital, once you are strong enough I hope you take it further.

GypsyMoth Mon 11-May-09 17:55:10

oh my! no idea what to say to you,but i just had to let you know i read your post and appreciate you sharing it with us.

so sorry for your loss.
and sorry that the med staff weren't very human.

QOD Mon 11-May-09 17:57:25

((((((hugs))))))

TrinityIsLovingHerLittleRhino Mon 11-May-09 17:57:39

So sorry for your losses sad

and very angry on your behalf for the very bad treatment you received

FearOfThePig Mon 11-May-09 17:59:41

oh my god, you poor poor thing, amd your poor beautiful babies. I am stunned by this, it is so very sad.

I am so very sorry for your losses xx

nickschick Mon 11-May-09 18:04:11

sad im so sorry xx

bubblagirl Mon 11-May-09 18:04:54

oh i have no wise words but wanted to to say im thinking of you xx

Becky150409 Mon 11-May-09 18:05:25

Thank you for your support I have taken it further and made a complaint to the minister of health. I don't understand how they can say that a baby after 19 weeks is viable enough to bury but is not viable for saving if they are breathing at 20 weeks.

What an awful story. So sorry for your loss of Phoebe and Dylan.

liahgen Mon 11-May-09 18:07:55

bloodyhell angry for you.

sad for little Phoebe and Dylan. RIP little ones,

Please visit

www.uk-sands.org/

Everyone on there knows exactly how you are feeling. Be gentle on yourself.

You'll find lots of support on here too, tragically.

Hugs to you

JRocks Mon 11-May-09 18:08:24

I'm so sorry to read this, how heartbreaking. God bless you and your two little angels x

BigusBumus Mon 11-May-09 18:08:28

my goodness, how utterly utterly sad. sad

I hope its been really cathartic and good for you to write it all down. Copy and paste it into a Word file and keep it safe so that you will always remember the details.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hobbgoblin Mon 11-May-09 18:08:59

Dear God if I say what I feel like saying about the hospital treatment you received I fear it will detract from the fact that you gave birth to two wonderful babies who were sadly only with you for a very short time. For that you just need love and hugs and support and for them to be remembered happily.

When your short memories are solidified then will be the time to be angry, but for now enjoy thinking about the time you had with Phoebe and Dylan. I hope that is some small comfort.

GypsyMoth Mon 11-May-09 18:09:11

becky. even the treatment,just leaving them....so bad! it really shouldn't matter how many weeks,its the lack of basic care that astounded me in your post.....the waiting around for a stitch,a patch......its bad,bad,bad....feel so bad for you and your partner. shocking treatment.

just seen you have posted on the other thread, thank you so much for doing that x

abraid Mon 11-May-09 18:10:39

OMG, I am appalled. Both by the treatment they gave you and by the utter disrespect and callousness shown to Phoebe and Dylan. I don't understand how the staff could have just left them there like that, between your legs.

Mamazon Mon 11-May-09 18:11:00

Congratulations on the birth of Phoebe and Dylan.

My deepest sympathies for your loss and unspeakable angry at the way you were treated.

madameovary Mon 11-May-09 18:17:48

Congratulations on the birth of Phoebe and Dylan.

Such shock anger and sadness and reading this.
Your beautiful babies...I am so sorry you were treated this way.

duckyfuzz Mon 11-May-09 18:17:53

so sorry for your loss

FabulousBakerGirl Mon 11-May-09 18:20:43

I thought if a baby was born breathing the medics had to assist?

I am so sorry for your loss. sad

Becky150409 Mon 11-May-09 18:22:10

I also recieved their deaths certificates on wednesday and the hospital put that they only lived 5 minutes and on the dicharge report they put Phoebe's death at 4.15pm and they said they checked Dylan at 6.45pm and he still had a heart beat till 7 pm which is not true they both died in our arms just over an hour after they were born I want answers now.angry as to why the precare so poor and they made little attempt to stop the labour and then they wouldn't help them and then to lie about how long they lived my husband and i were holding them when they passed away, no one else checked them

Becky150409 Mon 11-May-09 18:24:37

I thought they had to assist as well. we were told they were not allowed

FabulousBakerGirl Mon 11-May-09 18:25:40

Then that needs to be MN new campaign.

It is to heartbreaking to think they watched 2 babies die and did nothing because they weren't allowed. I couldn't have done nothing.

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