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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Good things about a newborn/ new motherhood?

67 replies

gertrudestein · 14/07/2013 14:31

So I'm 8 days overdue with dc1, and realistically have to face up to the fact that the baby wil be here sooner rather than later . I've had a difficult pregnancy and although I can't wait to meet the baby, I'm worried about PND and how Dh and i will cope with the lack of sleep and general chaos. We are as prepared as we can be with baby stuff and advice but I'm very scared --- everyone is keen to tell us how hard it's going to be.

Can anyone give me some good news? What is nice about being a a new mum? What did you enjoy about having a new baby? I know it will be hard but surely there must be some good bits?

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TheTiger · 14/07/2013 14:34

The moment your baby is put on your chest is the most amazing moment of your life. There is nothing that compares!

The smell of your baby's head is the most delicious smell ever.

You can spend hours cuddling your baby on the sofa/ in bed/ anywhere. There is nothing better to do!

Everyone tells you how hard it is, and yes it is extremely hard and the lack of sleep is a killer, but be positive and think of how lovely new babies are and how much joy your baby will bring. Don't dwell on the negatives!

Good luck! Xxx

Original poster

gertrudestein · 14/07/2013 14:39

Thanks tiger! I need to hear that ...

OP posts:

seanbonbon · 14/07/2013 14:49

Ooh I'm so jealous reading your post, the early days are the best! My first was also a summer baby and it was so nice, sitting eating lunch out the back while she slept in her buggy. Enjoy every minute

karinmaria · 14/07/2013 14:57

Baby cuddles are the best cuddles. The feeling of 'I grew you' when you look at your tiny newborn. The triumph of getting the hang of feeding and soothing.

Then later on watching him/her develop their own personality, smiling, gurgling and babbling, growing out of their newborn clothes.

It makes it all worth it

FadBook · 14/07/2013 14:57

The early days are amazing - I LOVED them, despite the lack of sleep. You need to get to know the little one and so don't worry if you do it wrong / right. All they need is food, love and comfort. Everything else they get from you is a bonus!

My best advice is not to listen to any advice seriously, take on board what makes sense to you, and smile and nod at the stuff you don't instinctively agree with!

You'll be surprised how natural it'll come to you.

I always said, dd didn't change my life she just added to it and made it more amazing that it already was.

Hardrockhallelujah · 14/07/2013 15:08

My dd is 3 weeks old and I don't think it's possible to get bored of looking at her and cuddling her

The only advice I would give you is to ignore the housework and make the most of having a beautiful tiny baby

Original poster

gertrudestein · 14/07/2013 15:13

Thank you all - it's wonderful to read your positive experiences! Am looking at the pile of baby clothes with a bit of a tear in my eye ...

OP posts:

littlehelp · 14/07/2013 15:15

Hello my dd is a week today and it has flew by!!
The first few days are just adjusting to a different routine, but your body is excellent at coping with lack of sleep,

You'll wonder what all the fuss was about!!

somewhatavoidant · 14/07/2013 15:17

I remember feeling very lonely in the middle of the night while the world slept but I didn't realise that it was for a very short time and des was sleeping through or at least till 6am at 12 weeks so remember that all the hard bits are really short term & it's gets easier every day! Best of luck, it's such an amazing time :)

cassell · 14/07/2013 15:32

I found pregnancy much harder then having a newborn both times. Although everyone said it would be v hard I didn't find that it was - yes it was v tiring and with ds1 a v steep learning curve but it was also amazing just watching the little life that you created. The first two nights with ds1 I didn't sleep because I just stared at him in amazement (the first two nights with ds2 I didn't sleep because he wouldn't - slightly different though still wonderful second time around).

I felt that suddenly my life had meaning, a meaning I didn't realise was lacking beforehand.

When your baby falls asleep on you it's just lovely, the close intimacy of feeling them breathe is beautiful. I still love it when ds1 (4.3yo) falls asleep on me which is v rare these days.

YummyYummyYum · 14/07/2013 16:08

Fresh 'from the oven' baby smell. Just looking at how perfect your baby is. Cooing. First smile. Smiles. Baby sleeping on my chest. Other people making tea for you

neontetra · 14/07/2013 16:13

The lack of sleep sounds infinitely worse than it is because your hormones help you adjust to cope. In fact, maybe I was lucky, but I found having a newborn far, far less stressful than going to work. Good luck.

dopeysheep · 14/07/2013 16:21

You can put their feet in adult size shoes and it's very funny.
Also when you are breastfeeding you can watch a lot of tv or films with no guilt.

QueenoftheHolly · 14/07/2013 16:26

I felt just like you & was also overdue. I couldn't really see the upsides but just sort of took it on trust when people said 'its worth it'

6 months on & its been best 6 months of my life! DS now sleeps from 7-7 & has done for a while, he grins and grins, & has done since 6 weeks old. It's like getting a puppy X a gazillion. I was about breast feeding before. thought i'd do 3 months under sufferance but did it for 6 months as it wasn't so tricky as I thought, I enjoyed it & really wanted to do the best for my son. Everything's been a bit like that.

I can only describe the hard bits as rather like revision for exams, a necessity but not the most memorable part of being a student.

Perhaps having very low expectations of the whole thing has made me pleasantly surprised. No one can explain what the love feels like.

peacefuleasyfeeling · 14/07/2013 16:45

DD2 is two weeks old. I am really enjoying this newborn time as, even with a full-of-beans toddler around (who still wakes 3-4 times a night and needs to be carried back to bed and settled back to sleep), I now have the pleasure of doing the 'early days' with the benefit of hindsight, a feeling and understanding I wish I could bottle and give to all new mums who worry about how they will cope with sleep deprivation etc. This time around I just know that I will, and it is so reassuring to know that I can just relax into being a bit tired and fuzzy around the edges (it's not as if I'm going to be operating air traffic control or performing brain surgery) and eat this particular elephant a little chunk at a time. One hour / meal time / night at a time, I think that's how you do it. If all you manage in a day is a shower, washing up and putting a pizza in the oven, well done! And really, do try to catch a few zzz's when your baby is napping; I never bothered with DD1, but this time I am finding those catnaps totally magical!

And as for what is lovely with a newborn; so, so soft and floppy, that little lolling head... When you have the first eye-gazing moments, looking into your baby's eyes and knowing that they're seeing you too. It is really lovely and quite surprising how enthusiastic some people get about the birth of your baby and you might find yourself on the receiving end of some very sweet acts of kindness.

Andanotherthing123 · 14/07/2013 16:46

Having my first baby was like the feeling I got on Christmas day as a child except that boxing day never came...I had never felt so tired but so happy. Neither of mine were good sleepers and we still see them at night now (5 & 3 yrs) but it doesn't matter to me. It is so wonderful to love another human being in the way a child lets you love them.

janey1234 · 14/07/2013 17:02

DS1 is two weeks two days today. The last fortnight has honestly been the most amazing time of my entire life, and nowhere near as bad as I expected it to be. Yes it's tiring etc but more rewarding than I ever imagined - and all he does is eat and sleep!

Good luck and enjoy - the days are whizzing past...

Original poster

gertrudestein · 14/07/2013 17:17

Thank you all so much! You never hear the good things - only the hardships and the struggles. I might even be looking forward to this!

OP posts:

PlainOldVanilla · 14/07/2013 17:23

The first moment when you see your baby and hear her cry is amazing. Something just instantly changes and the instant love you feel is something no one can ever describe.

The skin to skin.

Snuggling into you and just having this little baby in your arms so trusting.

There's so much more but there's alot of baby talk and its making me broody and my Dc isn't even 1

TheFallenNinja · 14/07/2013 18:18

When they first look you in the eye as if to say "where the hell am I and who the hell are you"

Babies head smell great, bums not so much.

Having the time to study your new miniature scale human.

Fairylea · 14/07/2013 18:25

It is hard but lovely at the same time.

Don't do any housework unless you absolutely have to. (I'm a bit of a clean freak and I think trying to be supermum doing everything contributed to pnd ... I had pnd with dd and ten yrs later I had ds and gave myself completely to focusing on him and I found life much easier).

Get out as much as you can when they are little and sleep lots because when they get to ds stage now 13 months and don't want to sit in a buggy at all its bloody hard work! :)

LondonLancashireRose · 14/07/2013 18:34

The cuddles! Cuddles from your tiny person are the best thing ever. And when he or she does their first smile - wow, it squeezes your heart ! My DS is 12 weeks now and today he put his arm round my neck when I picked him up. It was probably completely by accident but it was amazing just the same! OP you have the most joyful time ahead of you.

BikeRunSki · 14/07/2013 18:36

No longer being pregnant!

blondebaby111 · 14/07/2013 18:40

I'm glad op that you started this thread, I can't add any positives as pregnant with my first and like you I'm scared how I will cope and I'm fed up of people already saying how hard it will be.
I think people just like to say the bad bits and they never say the good bits. Such lovely positive stories xx

purrpurr · 14/07/2013 18:49

I have an 8 week old DD. I love:

Scooping her out of her Moses basket in the morning. She now smiles all the time, particularly, and reassuringly, when she sees my ugly mug looming over her grinning. Her face lights up. The first few times I nearly burst into tears, it was so lovely. I seem to be shiny eyed a lot at present because she smiles so easily, it's bloody lovely.

Bathing and dressing her in day clothes. Initially she didn't like baths because she got cold afterwards - I didn't realise that was the problem, I was using a baby towel, it's summer, go figure. Then one day I had to use my enormous towel, big fluffy job, wrapped her up like a burrito and she was well chuffed with that! So now my towel is hers and the baby towels are in a drawer. Hey ho. It also took a while for her to get used to having tips pulled on, the world vanishes for a couple of seconds, where's mummy gone, waaaaah! But she got used to it and is now happy to have mummy talk rubbish at her whilst dressing her. It's a lovely time to bond with her.

cuddles. Cuddles, cuddles, cuddles! I can't get enough.

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