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Insensitive comments made to you in pregnancy

(98 Posts)
Hai1988 Tue 21-May-13 17:11:18

Oh my mother is so tactfull! She just calls as im sitting down with a tea and some biscuits after a long day and told her so, her response was "i know ur only a bit tubby now cus your pregnant but you better be carefull u don't wanna get to fat!" Cheers mum!!

Anyone else have very insensitve realatives or friends who come out with comments like this or is it just me sad

Fakebook Tue 21-May-13 17:20:21

I was told to pray when pregnant with DS because I obviously hadn't prayed when I'd had my miscarriages. hmm.

I was also told when pregnant with dd (pfb) that why I couldn't have waited a bit after getting married, as she was going to be born way too quickly. Various people told me this.

2Labradors Tue 21-May-13 17:21:40

For some reason people think that pregnancy gives them a free reign (is that the right saying?) to comment on your weight....and it's so annoying

I'm quite sensitive about my weight, I was at weight watchers pre-pregnancy and since my son was born I've lost over 3 stone. I had to leave as soon as I found out and have gained about 9 pounds already at 12 weeks (got to be at least 1lb on each boob haha they're huge). I know I've got to gain weight as its part of pregnancy, and I couldn't have the small portions I did with weight watchers, but a remember a good friend saying to me after I'd lost a bit of weight that my 'bum was huge' after I had my son. She felt that she could say it as I'd lost some weight but that sticks in my mind now as I'm pregnant again, my bum's going to be huge again!

Futterby Tue 21-May-13 17:28:01

I'm eighteen and pregnant with my first (happy accident) and I've been asked twice if I know who the father is. Yes, I do, he's my rock steady partner of four years but thanks for the vote of confidence.

And I know this isn't really the same thing but my mum, sister and gran all had to decide among themselves who was coming with my boyfriend and I to my twelve week scan today. My gran won and now WILL NOT STOP GOING ON about how the baby "stuck it's fingers up" at us. It didn't, it pushed it's whole hand against the ultrasound thing. I was watching every second and I know she's just trying to get attention.

2Labradors - you're spot on! Ppl seem to think you're public property once upduffed! I'm 30wks and measuring big but bump is tidy but I'm constantly being goaded on what I am or am not eating (I'm addicted to fruit and salads with veryoccasional cookies and ice cream, for the record)
Random strangers say I look "ready to pop" it's bloody rude!

normaleggy Tue 21-May-13 17:57:06

'My daughter was nowhere near as fat as you by 5 months'. This coming from a woman that I would describe as morbidly obese.

Miggs28 Tue 21-May-13 17:58:49

I'm almost 30, have been married for 2 years and have been asked numerous times by work colleagues and friends if my pregnancy was planned and was I happy that I'm pregnant!

Firstly its none of their business and secondly absolutely yes!! Why do people insist on asking this?!

RoxyLady Tue 21-May-13 18:12:10

After 6 months of morning sickness my cousin turned round and said oh get on with it. Thanks for that
She is childless

afrikat Tue 21-May-13 18:29:11

I lost a lot of weight last year and when I got pregnant my MiL said to me 'oh you made all that effort and now you're just going to get fat again'. Thanks!
Also, am suffering from extreme tiredness at 22 weeks and getting utterly fed up. Her comment? Oh it's because you don't eat meat. My iron levels are fine and I have a v balanced diet so I don't think that's the problem!

nj13 Tue 21-May-13 18:46:11

I have 3ds and I hated the comments and pity from people when i told them it was another boy! things like 'aw thats a shame' erm no its not you old bat! angry

When my mum told my Grandad he said oh god, should i say congratulations & is her boyfriend the dad, my mum was like of course he is & grandad just said well you never know these days, you see it on Jeremy Kyle all the time. Then I phoned my great Aunt to tell her & the 1st thing she said was shall i say congratulations I said yes we're very happy about it, then she had to sit down bcus she was in shock. Our pregnancy wasn't planned, we've only been together a year & dont live together yet but I think its so rude for people to ask if they should congratulate us, even if they think it dont say it.

Futterby Tue 21-May-13 19:21:29

I've had that a lot too, LittleNight.

olympicvibes Tue 21-May-13 19:30:09

Yes seemed worse from work colleagues. people asking (and my boss did this when I told her )if it was planned or an accident...Wtf?!

A few 'jokes' from inept colleagues/acquaintances asking if I was sure I wasn't having twins. I may have lost a twin at 6 weeks, was impossible to confirm but had a very rocky first half of pregnancy. but they weren't to know that.

Male colleagues who were scared of the pregnant lady and suddenly unable to look at or speak to me..

babyradio Tue 21-May-13 19:36:14

I've been asked a few times if I know who the father is because "you're not in a relationship with anyone on facebook" ... ah, facebook, the true measure of love!

harleyd Tue 21-May-13 19:38:06

im just sick to death of people commenting on my bump
to the point where i may actually end up braining someone

WeeS Tue 21-May-13 19:39:20

My older sister informed me of the statistics of miscarriage in the 1st trimester, when I was only 5 weeks pregnant! hmm
LittleNight - DP & I have only been together for a little over a year so totally know where you're coming from.
I recently got an invite to a friends wedding with just my name on it, no plus one. Another friend said apparently she wasn't aware I had a boyfriend ..... !
Futterby - ^ this & I'm 33! grin

NewChoos Tue 21-May-13 19:43:46

My sister comments on how enormous I am everytime she sees me (fortunately not that often).
I am 32 weeks and have put on 2 stone.

Giggle78 Tue 21-May-13 19:45:22

Loads and loads and loads since about 30 weeks:

You look like you're about to burst
You look massive
Have a cake after all you're eating for two now - or is it three (bitchy underhand way of saying you look massive)
Are you sure its not twins?
Who ate all the pies?
You've got another six weeks to go (eyes wide with shock)
When will your pregnancy ever be over. (Its the usual nine months - sorry if I'm boring you)
Whispered by a sixth form student in my class - I'm surprised she can move she's so massive
Why are you still here? (at work) - My brain does still work...

All in all I am measuring spot on for my dates. I'm just small and so have the Jessica Simpson look about me - in that most people are used to seeing her a certain way and its easier for smaller people to look larger.

I was upset. Now I just think F* 'em all !

VenusUprising Tue 21-May-13 19:54:18

My mum constantly made comments about weight gain, and how she didn't put on a pound with me, in fact was three pounds lighter after she had me at seven and a half stone etc etc

So she was all gimlet eyed and triumphant when I was about 9 stone after having my dd. told you that cake would stick ha ha ha etc.
She has bulimia, and it has wrecked her life!

Other comments were also bizarre, my friends insisting I had an outie, with strident patting on my bump (eh, thanks for the pawing) when in fact I absolutely did not have an outie, and I knew this FFS, but they wouldn't believe me! Why oh why doe people need to comment about your bump / bum. Or paw you?

But the best bad comment was from my mum when I was telling everyone I was pg, as she said " oh I knew something was wrong with you". Nice. Needless to say she's about as useful as a chocolate teapot to me.

Yes yes yes, I agree that "congratulations" should be the first thing that people say, and then NOTHiNg at all!

Lj8893 Tue 21-May-13 20:23:35

After We had made it public at 13 weeks i went out one bank holiday afternoon for a pub lunch and to catch up with people, I bumped into a local pub goer who said (in from of about 10 people)
"Alright, LJ, your looking quite fat!"
I rubbed his belly and said yep my pregnancy is starting to show, what's your excuse?

And when my mum told my brother (he can be a little dense) his first response was,

"Oh wow how did that happen?"

My mum told him she was slightly concerned if she had to go through the birds and bees with him at the age of 23.

beth27123 Tue 21-May-13 20:27:18

Ha we had OHs dad saying he should have stopped at three (children with an ex partner) and when asked why I should be deprived of having the baby I longed for said "Well you could have got a different boyfriend." um...really?

Futterby Tue 21-May-13 20:27:28

Almost every time I tell anyone about my pregnancy it's "so was it planned?!" and when I say my standard answer which is "no, a wee happy accident" I've been asked if I'm "getting rid of it". How is that acceptable?!

TigerSwallowTail Tue 21-May-13 20:28:52

Calm down or you'll have another miscarriage hmm

TigerSwallowTail Tue 21-May-13 20:33:06

When announcing the much planned pregnancy with my fiancé of 5 years after sadly suffering a mc "how do you press the undo button on that one?"

Hadassah Tue 21-May-13 20:34:03

MIL: "Are you going to resign from your job?" "Will you carry on with your studying now?" Excuse me?

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