Mumsnet Talk

Just that really, I can switch off to the horror stories of labour but its really freaking me out how many women are saying they are ruined down there-I expect change don't get me wrong but I'm being told you end up disfigured and never have sex and can't walk/perch again!!! Anyone had a baby and managed to be normal(ish) down there?

Yes, but I had two C sections.
You might get ragged, you might not. I assume those with more than one child did manage sex at least once more, so there is some exaggeration going on!

Yep. Not so much as a tear and I've had 4 (ranging between 7 and 10 pounds).

I do have to cross my legs when I cough/sneeze/laugh however

How many women do you see, in daily life, unable to walk or perch? How many mothers do you know who go running? Look at all the ones who are pushing buggies - they seem to be walking perfectly competently to me.

You might end up with a bit of stitchery, but most of us manage a postnatal shag eventually.

Christ, reading that back I sound like I'm boasting. Hmm me and my amazing fanny. Ta-dahhhh!!!

Fear not, it's not always like that. I have had two large babies and it sprung back to normal quite nicely thank you.

I did use almond oil on the <ahem> general area and the perennials leading up to the birth which is supposed to help against tearing - don't know if it helped or it was just luck tbh, but had no stitches.

oh god i remember when i was pg with dc1 loads of "friends" saying stuff like this

i am pg with dc3 and mine is fine! although had c/sections

i think sometimes it can be a tiny bit looser down there but as so many women go on to have dc2, 3, and more, i am sure they are still able to have sex.

i think sometimes people who have had dcs like to scaremonger a bit tbh

Mine was ripped, stitched then torn to smithereens
Still working though!

OH Katie, that just made me cross my legs

^"Mine was ripped, stitched then torn to smithereens
Still working though! "^

That really^^ Just...

Moody Just because your fanny is fine, don't assume others are scaremongering, things do happen and lots of women do end up with a lot of damage, lots are fine as well though so I guess the balance evens out.

One 9lb-er here. Minor tear which healed quickly. Still tight as a scotsman and I can laugh/sneeze without pissing myself. Result.

Take the horror stories with a pinch of salt.

OP, don't fret. I've had three babies and three episiotomys. That's a fair few stitches and I'm fine. I can walk, run etc and certainly have sex I reckon there would be zero chance of getting my vagina though a 'no mums' check point but I think that's unlikely to be an issue

People only tell the horror stories as 'my fanjo is fine' is not a good story.

And even though my bits were like Frankensteins monster for a fair while, torn and all that.

Like Bunny still tight, can laugh/sneeze without weeing etc so it isn't always all bad even when you have a lot of damage.

Haha thanks ladies!! I get my head around it might not be as pretty but it's nice to know I might be able to "put out" once in a while!!!

Tbh in my case from the outside I don't think it even looks any different.

And I am pg with DS2 and DS is nearly 18mo so...

You'll be fine, I'm sure. Even with damage it can normally always be repaired, when you think of the amount of women who give birth there are bound to be some who run into problems.

I have a fabulous fanjo thank you.



As said upthread you only hear the bad stories.

Two DC (one over 9lb), two vbs, not a single stich and can still sneeze/cough/laugh without incident.

[Note to self - must stop posting on threads like this as, while potentially reasuring, it could start to look like v odd fanjo boasting should anyone ever be bored enough to search my posting history]

Good luck OP

Mine is fine, always has been always will be (I hope), I ripped my arse too but that's fine now too.

When they tell you to stop pushing, you listen.

Yes, I wouldn't get through a checkpoint either but in all honesty the stretch marks would give me away anyway...

4 dc's here and am joining in with the other fanjo boasters . All is as it should be, everything just 'pinged back' as it was before my huge belly is another matter

I had an episiotomy, then a third degree tear.
While things are not the same down there, I can walk, perch and with the help of pelvic floor exercises can laugh and cough with no worry of wetting myself. I do also have sex, it does feel different I think at least part of that is down to how different I feel about myself and DH (in a good way)
8 months on, I'd do it all over again!

I've had three good sized babies

I can trampoline, run, perch(I think, what is that even?) and everything

I do need to go to the loo before I trampoline though

listen to your midwife during the birth
relax, believe you can do it

you'll be fine

I had my 3-babies-through-it-vag complimented last week - "it's perfect - like a mouse's ear!" I was a bit - wtf - but heyho- eye of the beholder etc.

If it ruined us that significantly, programmes like 16 kids and counting would be a lot less interesting...