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Anyone else hate being pregnant and need somewhere safe to whinge?

(100 Posts)
BelleEtLaBaby Sun 10-Feb-13 17:22:18

Disclaimer 1: this is my 2nd, very wanted and tried for pregnancy. I'm delighted to be adding to my family.

Disclaimer 2: I in no way wish to offend or upset anyone dealing with pg loss, infertility etc who would probably willingly trade places with me and all my grumbles. I do know I am lucky and I really don't want to piss anyone off.

BUT.

I hate pregnancy. Oh, I hate this. I get HG and have a bunch of other issues which mean the whole thing is a slog from beginning to end. I'm exhausted. Constantly vomiting. Bedridden. I'm still carrying my weight from last pg and am only going to look worse after this as I get awful stretch marks and saggy uncared for skin. I can't eat anything except pork chops and chips due to the hg - and I'm a massive foodie in real life, so I'm bored of my food (and bored of seeing it twice!).

We had awful nt results last time (1:2, ds is fine after all) so I am petrified about my scan and will worry continually.

And I'm losing my hair again!

I am so pleased to be having another baby, but the cooking process is something I endure, not enjoy. But I really feel like if I try and sound off in real life I get the following responses:

A. I should count myself lucky to be pg and shut up (usually not from who have had problems ttc, afaik, who are usually lovely. More people who cite other people who have had issues.
B. I shouldn't complain in case I have a mc. Which makes no sense to me - I'm a bit practical and if I did have a mc, I wouldn't associate this with anything I said or thought.
C. I got pg by choice so it's 'self inflicted'.

Well, even if all those people are right, I'm still sick as a dog, and don't enjoy my pregnancies like others do. Can I make this Fred a safe place to have a waaaaah without getting flamed? Please?

Waaaaaah smile

cupcake78 Sat 02-Mar-13 12:32:09

Belle, does the same thing apply to body fat wink? Does baby leach that off me because I could go with it!

No sex here either. ive never felt less sexy or interested in my life!Its too much effort and the jiggling isn't pleasant. Poor dh but hey ho, its not forever.

ButteryJam Sat 02-Mar-13 13:00:12

Oh I feel like a whine! hmm

I'm just so shattered! 10-15 min on the computer and I start feeling dizzy! I'm not even doing my work, I was shopping! I just hope the midwife and GP take my concerns seriously because I'm really fed up, and really don't want to take any more days off work (currently 28 weeks). Feel so weak that I feel like starting my maternity leave now! confused

Hooya Sat 02-Mar-13 13:03:13

Hey Belle I will be 12 weeks on Tuesday - the time from 8 weeks (last scan) to 12 weeks has lasted at least 4 years and 500 loaves of white bread as far as I can tell!

We did NO shagging at all in the first few weeks, better the last couple of weeks but a couple times I had to stop due to motion sickness, or shout "NOT THE BOOBS" on sensitive days when he forgets! Impressed that you managed to vom on your DH though grin . Having got used to 6x per week when TTC it's been a bit of a shock to adjust, no wonder I can't sleep as well now!

I tried to explain the leech thing to DP but he looked at me like I was making it up! We had a rather unseemly row in a taxi which ended with me yelling "GOOGLE IT!". We live in a country where people barely raise their voices so I think the driver was a bit shock

BelleEtLaBaby Sat 02-Mar-13 16:21:47

grin at NOT THE BOOBS. Me too!

DH and I had a massive argument the other week. He put the moves on me again, and I had to tell him no, again, and he got all huffy. I asked him what his problem was: I've told him if I feel remotely like a shag I will jump him immediately, but not to keep trying it on as I hate keep having to reject him. He sulked for ages and as he was leaving, I heard him mutter something about pregnancy being crap.

I lost it entirely. I told him we could swap if he wanted: I would go without sex and do a bit more washing up otherwise be entirely normal, and he could throw up a dozen times a day, piss himself half of those times and every time he sneezed, have crippling heartburn and rampant eczema, feel constantly like the world was spinning, and CONSTANTLY nauseous, hate all his favourite foods, be banned from eating most of the ones he did fancy, and have everyone around him scrutinise every morsel he did manage to get in his mouth. I could have his mother treat him like he had become a stupid child unable to make decisions, he could have his genitals and belly prodded and investigated, and he could spend his time in between all this worrying about piles, feeding the baby from his nipples, pushing it out of his body, the possibility of permanent in incontinence and after it was all done, he could watch his body, irreparably stretched, drag itself around in pyjamas for a few months with milk leaking all over his top and any one of two children under three attached to him at any one time. I told him he was welcome to it. And I told him all of this at the top of my voice. Then I vomited all over the bed (not my intention but it certainly added to the drama).

He bought me pop tarts and flowers the next day and has been lovely since then. smile

Gingerbreadpixie Sat 02-Mar-13 18:20:18

Ooh, can I have a moan too, please? I'm having a bloody tough time. Constant complications, anxiety and pains. I'm only 14 weeks and I've been to EPU 4 times and A&E once. I'm at the doctors pretty much weekly. I've finally stopped pretending and started being honest that I'm not enjoying this pregnancy at all.

I said to DH today I wish I could transfer the baby to him for a bit so I could have a good old drink and some cigarettes!

I'll add a disclaimer too that the baby is very wanted and I'm incredibly grateful for the little one. I'm just worn out with it all.

thegoldenfool Sat 02-Mar-13 19:56:06

me too!

how could I forget how horrible being pregnant was, and this time I´m doing it all with a 19 month old!

just getting to about 18 weeks no sign of blooming, sick every morning and going to bed at 8pm - i am almost sure having a baby made up for it though grin

BelleEtLaBaby Sun 03-Mar-13 11:58:22

Come in, pull up a chair, and let me have your woes smile

DH bought me a saline nasal spray to help clear my unblocked nose. It made me vomit (what doesn't?)

AND I've had to give my Henning Wehn tickets to the pils as I'm too sick to go sad

Waaaah sad

BelleEtLaBaby Sun 03-Mar-13 12:03:05

Ps: Gingerbread that would be excellent. A sort of pregnancy-sitter! Someone to borrow your pregnancy off you for a bit so you could get drunk and let your hair down, feel better for a few hours, then get your pregnancy back once your hangover had gone grin

somewherebecomingrain Sun 03-Mar-13 13:52:56

Feel sick, tired, stretched, strained. Rectum
Bladder and cervix under attack from the inside. If I lie down I can't breathe. Bleuuuuuuuurgh. Can't put on my shoes, pubic bones grind when putting on knickers and trousers - sound of 'ah ah ah' accompanies it and that ain't a sexy panting I can tell you. Groans an back clutching and finding balance like I'm 80 every time I stand up. Have to sort of set my legs like an OAP.

Only 5 weeks to go but it seems like ages!

Bleuuuuurgh - stomach squished.

Gingerbreadpixie Sun 03-Mar-13 14:14:00

Belle - yes exactly. A pregnancy-sitter! I feel the world of medical science needs to start working on this ASAP!!

To continue my moan, I've just had a go at DH. I'm fed up of him telling me how I should/shouldn't be reacting to my pg complications. If I feel scared and like shit why should I hide it not to upset his day? Also, he never takes it upon himself to read any pg books, look at Internet sites or anything like that to look into some of the issues surrounding this pg, so I'm always trying to figure out what's going on by myself. FED UP!! sad

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sun 03-Mar-13 14:28:48

I actually said to DH the other day I can't wait to give birth so the responsibility for the baby isn't solely mine any more!

Oh, the reflux.....

notdueforages Sun 03-Mar-13 15:23:30

Hello smile

Just popping in briefly and taking a much-needed study break. Also hate being PG with a passion, and I don't even have any really bad symptoms.

BUT: My boobs have gone up 3 sizes and I have put on just over a stone and a half at 21 weeks. I am actually getting fat, not just pregnant. Full of self-hatred.

Poor me. Poor all of us. It's awful

BelleEtLaBaby Sun 03-Mar-13 17:37:57

Reflux - eugh. I can't believe I have it so early, although it's to do with the hg. Everything I eat just burns for ages.

Well, it's almost 6pm and I haven't pee'd myself yet today smile

Jabberwockydoodah Thu 11-Apr-13 22:24:13

Looks like a can of worms has been opened here! I enjoyed reading about everyone's pain sympathise with you all.

I'm nearly 34 weeks with DC2 and feel utterly bitter about the fact that this pregnancy seems to be paying for a fabulous first one! Last time I was very big and suffered with heartburn but that was it. I was one of the happy clan. Had a home birth with only 5 hours labour. Not this time.

I've been constantly knackered, had low blood sugar up to 20 weeks (meaning frequent dizzy spells and fainting), piles, incontinence when coughing/sneezing, persistent colds and allergies, heartburn, headaches. I have managed to escape morning sickness again though (phew)!

Now suffering with chronic PGP/SPD which is made worse by a prolapse from first pregnancy. I can't walk far and in constant agony. My quack GP dismissed my pain as "hormonal fluctuations" and prescribed co-codamol with lactulose for the accompanying constipation you get from taking it. Saw MW today who was somewhat relieved I haven't taken the pills! She's totally awesome and has scored an appt with a consultant tomorrow to assess whether I'm fit to birth naturally. I should get a physio appt through soon too. I'm secretly hoping for a c-section so I can get this baby out ASAP, is that bad? I really wanted another home birth in my lovely inflatable pool but now the thought of getting in and possibly not being able to get comfortable or push terrifies me.

DH has been very supportive and DD is excited, but I'm sure they are sick of me moaning! My mum has already told me to STFU because she knows I'm "perfectly capable of doing it all again". My dad is great - he's a born moaner and loves moaning along with me! With everyone else I'm pulling the brave soul card which seems to be getting more sympathy than moaning. Oh dear I sound truly awful don't I? Lol. Oh well, counting down the days now.

KirstyoffEastenders Thu 11-Apr-13 22:48:57

Can I join in? I'm only 5 weeks with first but it's been an awful week since I found out. I had a mini breakdown at work and heartburn is unbearable. Can't bear the waiting to find out if everything is ok either. I hope it gets better soon.

FrustratedSycamoresRocks Thu 11-Apr-13 23:06:48

33wks, have constant heartburn/indigestion, and reflux when I lie down. I need to sleep but I feel sick. Want to sleep on my back proper up with loads of pillows, but can't because it makes me go light headed. And every time DH moves in his sleep I have to consciously stop myself from vomiting.

I can safely say I am not having any more children after this one.

BelleEtLaBaby Fri 12-Apr-13 01:03:07

19wk tomorrow and still miserable, still pissing myself (had to send DH out for tens lady pads with very specific instructions that if he came home with tena pants we would be getting a divorce.

Sickness almost gone except for in the morning when I get up - at which point I vom bitter yellow crap for ten mins. Midwife called it 'pregnancy sick'. Excellent.

Today I found out I'm having a boy so I'm chuffed to bits that all is well as my ds1 is going to have a brother!

BUT: I wet myself laughing, made steak for tea but then didn't want it so DH ate it. And I've broken out in eczema all over my arms which is so itchy I want to cut my arms off.

Waaaa!

CheerfulYank Fri 12-Apr-13 01:27:34

Oh God yes. I'm 34 weeks and ready to die.

I will never be comfortable or sleep more than a few hours at a stretch again, I'm sure of it. I wondered around at 3 am last night crying and gagging.

I had terrible nausea for most of the first and second trimester. Drugs helped but gave me hideous constipation. Now I have very low iron and no energy. The house is an absolute tip and I just can't seem to sort it out.

DS has been an only for almost six years and has morphed into an awful brat in his concern about the upcoming baby. DH has recently been in Facebook contact with an old student who is younger and more attractive than me. There's nothing untoward about it but I feel hideous so it bothers me.

And I'm apparently never having an orgasm AGAIN.

CheerfulYank Fri 12-Apr-13 01:48:07

And yesterday we had grass. Brown disgusting mushy grass, but still grass. Overnight, BAM. Snowstorm. No more grass. Spring is never coming.

And I feel like a terrible mother because I just want DS to leave me alone sometimes. I'm just so tired. sad

On the upside, my last pregnancy was easy physically but I got very depressed, and it was awful. I've had every physical symptom going this time, but feel pretty good mentally. smile

Jabberwockydoodah Fri 12-Apr-13 08:24:54

Aww I feel for you CheerfulYank! My 3yo DD has become very sensitive because of my inability to do anything strenuous. As much as we love 'em it would be nice to have a break! Happy 34 weeks, we're due at the same time smile

My house is also a huge mess. Don't worry about it, people understand. DH is doing a little bit like washing dishes and occasional vacuuming (a vast improvement on his previous refusal on grounds of "I go to work so it's your job"). Do you have anyone to help out? It's surprising how everyone suddenly stops telling you to stop moaning and actually want to help once there's promise of baby cuddles! Once baby arrives my mum will come and cook for me and help out with DD. My dad is also moving closer around the time I'm due and has offered to babysit, clean and do the garden. He's a neat freak and hates the dog hair.

Should you need to vent you have friendly ears waiting smile

CheerfulYank Fri 12-Apr-13 21:39:58

<clings to Jabberwocky desperately>

Thank you! I'm insisting on sending DS to day camp twice a week this summer (In America there's no school all of June,July, and August) and DH keeps complaining about the expense. angry I told him yesterday I do not want to discuss it anymore. DS and I will not survive three months of each other's company all day every day, to put it bluntly!

Jabberwockydoodah Sat 13-Apr-13 20:17:20

Aww boo you tell him two angry hormonal walruses nagging him isn't much fun! My DD goes to nursery one day a week and will start 2 days next month. It's nice to have that little time alone to cling onto and makes the week go faster. They usually come home with pretty stuff they make for you too. I got a decorated fan this week, sometimes it's paintings or cookies.

I'm getting some wicked contractions this evening and wishing they're real ones but most likely Braxton Hicks. Tomorrow is swimming day so I'm looking forward to that. Physio starts on Monday to sort out these defective hips of mine. If only it would help for heartburn :/

BelleEtLaBaby Sun 14-Apr-13 09:00:25

My DFil recommended a half tsp of bicarb in a glass of water for heartburn. Works a treat when mine is really bad. Also, I am very fond of orange flavour Rennies.

I've FINALLY got that second trimester energy burst. I have ripped through my house like a hurricane, cleaning, sorting, tidying. As a result I have a lovely shiny house (for all of 30 seconds I expect: DH is downstairs with DS1 while I lie in so heaven knows the chaos Im getting up to!) BUT I have cut my thumb, the tip has split right by the nail, I've burnt that hand twice on the cooker, broken three nails and aggravated my eczema on my arms. Boo!

Ds1 goes to nursery full time ATM but down to two half days when I go on mat leave in August. I'm looking forward to having more time with him, but what am I actually going to do with him all day?!

BelleEtLaBaby Sun 14-Apr-13 14:48:27

I've just made a cake and I can't lick the bowl sad

Jabberwockydoodah Sun 14-Apr-13 17:16:18

Sod that, I lick the bowl and still eat runny eggs. British hens are vaccinated against salmonella - it's part of the British Lion Standard. Obviously I'm more cautious when out because you don't know where the eggs are from, but supermarket ones that are stamped should be ok for a lick of the bowl smile

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