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Anyone else hate being pregnant and need somewhere safe to whinge?

(100 Posts)
BelleEtLaBaby Sun 10-Feb-13 17:22:18

Disclaimer 1: this is my 2nd, very wanted and tried for pregnancy. I'm delighted to be adding to my family.

Disclaimer 2: I in no way wish to offend or upset anyone dealing with pg loss, infertility etc who would probably willingly trade places with me and all my grumbles. I do know I am lucky and I really don't want to piss anyone off.

BUT.

I hate pregnancy. Oh, I hate this. I get HG and have a bunch of other issues which mean the whole thing is a slog from beginning to end. I'm exhausted. Constantly vomiting. Bedridden. I'm still carrying my weight from last pg and am only going to look worse after this as I get awful stretch marks and saggy uncared for skin. I can't eat anything except pork chops and chips due to the hg - and I'm a massive foodie in real life, so I'm bored of my food (and bored of seeing it twice!).

We had awful nt results last time (1:2, ds is fine after all) so I am petrified about my scan and will worry continually.

And I'm losing my hair again!

I am so pleased to be having another baby, but the cooking process is something I endure, not enjoy. But I really feel like if I try and sound off in real life I get the following responses:

A. I should count myself lucky to be pg and shut up (usually not from who have had problems ttc, afaik, who are usually lovely. More people who cite other people who have had issues.
B. I shouldn't complain in case I have a mc. Which makes no sense to me - I'm a bit practical and if I did have a mc, I wouldn't associate this with anything I said or thought.
C. I got pg by choice so it's 'self inflicted'.

Well, even if all those people are right, I'm still sick as a dog, and don't enjoy my pregnancies like others do. Can I make this Fred a safe place to have a waaaaah without getting flamed? Please?

Waaaaaah smile

gertrudestein Tue 19-Feb-13 14:30:04

It does last forever doesn't it?

Last night my DH said, 'I just want to have a break from the fact that we're having a baby' and spent two hours watching old episodes of The Big Bang Theory on his ipad.

I was so angry I couldn't speak to him. soooooo pleased he gets to have a nice little break from this reality, while I'm doing pelvic floor exercises and dreaming of runny eggs.

somewherebecomingrain Tue 19-Feb-13 17:13:13

So with you all. It's a complete ordeal. I'm on number 2, 33 weeks along, SPD,AND, heartburn, back pain, squishes stomach etc etc. the depression is the worst - essentially 9 months of the worst pmt I've ever known as the progesterone builds up to towering heights. Dp has nicknamed me Fecundstein - I am a monster. Such an excellent thread. NB not to be confused with wishing I wasn't pg - its all worth it in the end but it is hell..

I'm so glad to see this thread! 6wks with number 3 - a surprise baby(!), so it's pretty stressful trying to work out the finances, rearranging bedrooms, bigger car... I need my drivers license before baby arrives too. Just so badly timed and stressful.

Plus I feel like crap. DS and DD are 3 and 1 so totally unsympathetic to me wanting to curl up in a ball and vomit 12 times a day.

BelleEtLaBaby Tue 19-Feb-13 21:34:55

somewherebecomingrain that's it exactly - sounding off about not enjoying pregnancy isn't the same as not wanting to be pg: but if often gets that response in rl. It helps being able to waaaah a bit on here.

In the whinging thread on mn, no one can hear you scream

Waaaah smile

somewherebecomingrain Tue 19-Feb-13 21:48:45

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

BelleEtLaBaby Wed 20-Feb-13 16:14:06

I was mightily disappointed to wake up this morning to find that not only is it not September already, that the baby is still in my tummy and not in my arms, but that my eczema has flared all up one leg sad

Waah smile

somewherebecomingrain Wed 20-Feb-13 18:13:32

Having a better day today actually - have got stuff done - but paying the price with lower back agony.

Belle - September - you must be quite early on. I feel for you! All I can say is take supplements if you get to that zombie state of tiredness - sickness permitting. That's really helped me this time. did you say you had hg? If so that's not such great advice.

Also it will pass. It's intolerably gruelling I can't lie but time waits for no man. It's definitely speeding up for me now.

I managed to coordinate kids and have a sneaky nap. Felt so much better!

Cutandstick Thu 21-Feb-13 10:22:50

Oh man, this is the first time I've laughed in ages - in total relief I'm not the only one, and the awful irony of it all.
This is such a wanted pg, and I love feeling bump kick, but my god....I've clawed my way to a week off work, blaming work for sending me round the twist (I stand by that completely!) but now I'm on holiday I'm just me all the time. Which is a nightmare it turns out! Crying every time DP speaks to me, if he's having a laugh I can't take the sarcasm, and if he's not I think he hates me not that I'd blame him right now I've got some chronic rib and back pain that isn't caused by pregnancy but by the afternoon I could cry it hurts so much, sleeping is a JOKE, which is making me into some tired hormonal nightmare. Acid reflux, MS that started again at 18 weeks, and possibly feeling the most Unattractive and frumpiest woman about.
DP was apparently expecting this....why didn't he warn me?'

RachaelH1983 Thu 21-Feb-13 12:33:37

After a cry + feeling in a really shit mood I decide to log on to MumsNet where I see this fab thread which isntantly puts a smile on my face as I breath a sigh of relief. I am 28 weeks pregnant with my second, my Daughter is 7 so busy getting her off to school, keeping the house up together, doing the shopping, walking the dog etc and lately I feel really sorry for myself I am over the moon that I'm having a baby but this is so much harder than I remember !!! Maybe its because I'm 8yrs older ?? My partner never knows if he is coming or going with my constantly mood changes and if I'm honest nor do I !! Moving house a few weeks after baby is born plus I'm booked in for a c-section after a terrible birth with my daughter so I'm constantly thinking about one thing or another quite frankly I can't bloody wait for it to be over so we can move house in a completely new area 75 miles away and start a fresh !!! Moan over !!

BelleEtLaBaby Thu 28-Feb-13 23:15:14

Things I am whinging about today:

Dh made me laugh earlier (it's been a while since I laughed as laughing makes me vomit) and then, all of a sudden: uncontrollable weeping. For no reason. Then I vomited.

I have awful, awful heartburn. I'm not even 13wks and certainly not big enough for this to be pregnancy heartburn, so it's vomiting-all-the-time heartburn. Which means I still have the pregnancy heartburn to come. Joy.

As I was throwing up today, I wet myself. In front of dh. Who thought it was funny (even though he was very sweet and got me clean pyjamas).

Waah. Is it September yet??!

glossyflower Fri 01-Mar-13 07:59:48

It's made me smile reading these posts .. Not that I like to see people suffer but that I'm not the only one having a difficult time!

I'm now 32+4 and the iron supplements have made me feel better so I'm making the most of it!

Someone mentioned about when you get pregnant you lose your identity. I have certainly felt that too. Although I know people mind well but I do get annoyed when they say I should do this or shouldn't do that just because I'm pregnant.
I walk to work, it's only 10 minutes and when we had all the snow and ice my dad insisted on sending my mum round at half six in the morning in the car to do a six mile round trip just to drop me off what is essentially just over the road! They said we don't want you slipping over or being cold etc... Which I do understand but this would not happen if I weren't pregnant! But then I did slip on the ice, so then I made the most of my mums lifts lol.

And I've noticed that people at work who wouldn't normally give me the time of day because they are important doctors and I'm a mere nurse, suddenly have taken interest in me because I'm pregnant... One doctor who I swear hated me before, and used to make my knees knock if I had to speak to her, now asks all the time how I am etc and she even said to a colleague how impressed she was with me working so hard being heavily pregnant ... Grrrr!!!

Belle go to your GP and ask for omeprazole or ranitidine for your heartburn. That's if you don't mind taking tablets during pregnancy. When I had HG one of my anti sickness meds caused horrific heartburn and I tried ranitidine for it first but switched to omeprazole which has been a godsend. I rarely reach for the gaviscon for taking it, it's great. If I miss a days dose it comes back with a vengeance.

God I love this thread!!

Hope you ladies are doing ok at the moment xxx

cupcake78 Fri 01-Mar-13 08:16:23

24 wks, I'm so exhausted I'm
Being sick againhmm. Hormones are going nuts and feeling overly anxious and fed up. I want to not be called mum today. I want to go back to bed but instead I have to muster the energy to be 'dynamic and interesting' at workhmm.

I want the house fairy to come and do my housework, make the meals and do the washing while I'm asleep.

Instead I'm working, looking after ds and the house and growing a baby. It's the hardest job I think I've ever done. There is no light either the weekend is taken up with kids and family parties and dh is ill but insistent on still working so making him worse hmm.

Now to paint on the fake smile and survive the day ahead somehow. Time to pretend I love being pregnant and I'm glowing when in fact I've completely exhausted.

BelleEtLaBaby Fri 01-Mar-13 09:47:11

Ah. The fake smile. I have one of those smile I practised it when having ds1.

I've woken up with a stinking cold. Fucking charming. ;)

God, it helps to have a little vent, though, doesn't it?

glossyflower I've got some ranitidine in the cupboard - didn't realise it was pregnancy safe. I ended up with a spoonful of bicarb in some water last night, which helped, and at least calmed it down enough that I could stop vomiting smile think the tomato sauce on last nights pasta caused it. Another thing on the forbidden list sad

BelleEtLaBaby Fri 01-Mar-13 09:48:58

cupcake if you track down the house fairy, can you send her round mine when you're done? I've just moved so I've plenty for her to do which I am ignoring right now smile

HavingALittleFaithBaby Fri 01-Mar-13 10:26:18

I need this thread! We TTC'd for 2 years 8 months before I finally got pregnant. This is definitely a wanted baby. I still hang out in the conception support thread where I was for 18 months and would never whinge about being pregnant there. I know how lucky I am.

But oh my days! I am 32 weeks. I have a UTI. The antibiotics are ramping up the reflux to epic proportions. I've got an irritable uterus - every time I walk I have Braxton Hicks! I still have 3 weeks left to work! I'd like to be adding sleep to the sleep bank but now insomnia has kicked in. If one more person tells me to make the most of sleep while I can I will slap them. Really? Does having a baby mean you get sleep deprived?! hmm I never knew that!

OP I too have vomited in the sink and pee'd myself due to vomiting. I have had to work on my pelvic floor!

Only 15 shifts left to work smile

BelleEtLaBaby Fri 01-Mar-13 11:59:14

Hi havingalittlefaithbaby - glad I'm not the only one wetting myself. The indignities! It's hard to complain, isn't it, especially if people know you had issues. But the complaints are very real! Is it your first? I was very angry at people who told me to stock up on sleep in late pregnancy with my first: just as I was the size of a whale, covered in itchy eczema, riddled with heartburn and so uncomfortable I couldn't sleep at all and was spending my nights on the sofa scratching my legs to the West Wing! I figured it was training.

Had a serious conversation with DH this morning. I'm getting my tubes tied/sealed/removed after this one. If we change our minds in a few years and want a third, we'll adopt. We're in agreement. I never thought I'd entertain the idea of getting sterilised - I've got PCOS so I lived for a long time with the idea of fertility issues, but I can never do this again. I look at DS and I know it will be worth it again: but no more.

I'm 13wks today. Is that all???? I feel like I've been pregnant for a year. And September seems a really long time away: although its March already!? I'm signed off work until after the Easter holidays or until I stop losing weight.

Today's waaah - this cold is making the vomiting worse. On the plus side, DH has come home with Doritos smile

HavingALittleFaithBaby Fri 01-Mar-13 12:10:49

Yes, first baby here! We'd always said we'd have two. Then it took so long we said we'd be happy with one. Now he says he'd like 3 hmm We'll see!

Yes the sleep bank comments come thick and fast. Recent one from a friend with a 3 month old....either she looks back on her pregnancy with rose tinted glasses or she had plain sailing in the third trimester!

I actually think I've been sick in the kitchen sink more than anywhere else..it's all the smells that trigger me off. Gone off chicken was the worst envy

Try regular paracetamol and inhaling steam for the cold. Only things that helped me! smile

greenygrassy Fri 01-Mar-13 12:41:35

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I can't take the sickness anymore. Thanks for letting me get that out.

LexieH Fri 01-Mar-13 19:46:09

god i hear you sister... please see my most recent post.... I actually think I have developed depression I feel so bloody sick. complain to me whenever you feel like it coz I am right on track with you x hugs x

somewherebecomingrain Fri 01-Mar-13 22:25:19

oh blimey wish this had been there earlier in my PG. It's a complete ordeal - I was so on the ropes. Waaaaaa is exactly the sentiment. It's a complete insult on every level.

MumofWombat Fri 01-Mar-13 22:50:17

And on top of feeling crap because I'm pregnant, I'm now on antibiotics. My ribs are agony every time I sneeze or cough, and every so often a tiny bit of wee comes out with a sneeze or cough blush. I haven't washed my hair in days (the idea of standing long enough to rinse puts me off). And today, DH is back to work and then plays cricket so I'm going to have to look after DS on my own all day, when I barely feel like I can look after myself. The house is a tip, and I'm on a committee for a ball which is next week. I have too much to do to be ill.
The date for my csection will be made this week. DH wants it be as late as possible due to cricket finals, work etc. I WILL be stating quite clearly that the earliest date suits us fine. Stuff him. I want this baby out of me.

Hooya Sat 02-Mar-13 07:18:49

Ok I'm having it very easy compared to many but I HATE being a slave to my body! If I don't eat every 45 mins to 1 hour I start feeling horribly sick / throwing up - and I had two 90-minute meetings at work last week angry where I started retching a bit towards the end (disguised as coughing). It's so f**king undignified, stuffing my face with unwanted food before meetings / bed to try to ward off the sickness! And eating when you feel sick is rank.

DP is lovely but is fixated on how I should be more healthy, when all I want to eat is white carbs which stop the nauseating hunger for a bit longer.

And I miss lie ins! Was so happy today was Saturday, woke up at 7am to retch / eat, lie in ruined.

And my boobs are massive but not in a sexy way.

Thanks Belle <waves from a fellow JSer> for providing a place to whinge.

BelleEtLaBaby Sat 02-Mar-13 11:36:42

<waves at Hooya> smile Hey lady! A js-specific whine: no sex since getting pg either! Can't stand the jiggling. When I was pg with ds1, DH and I attempted at 16wks the slowest, barely moving shag ever. 2 mins or so in and I vomited all over his chest. We stopped bothering after that lol smile

My DH is like that about the health thing. I'm usually a very healthy eater, a real salad monster, but at the moment all I want is white carbs and cake. He keeps making me little salads and so on (which is really sweet) but I can't have onion or tomato so it kills me. When I had hg the first time, my hospital consultant said eat whatever I can manage, don't worry about being healthy or even your vitamins shock I was all: but what about the baby? He said not to worry, the baby will take what it needs from your body. If it needs protein it will leach it from your muscles, if it needs calcium, it will take it from your bones or teeth etc. The reason you need a healthy diet in pg is to replace all that and protect you, not the baby! He must have been right. I lost loads of weight, but had a 9lb 2oz whopper of a child, who was bouncing and healthy. After having him I lost a patch of hair, a tooth and I broke my foot! Mummy's little parasite smile

Hooya how many weeks are you now?

Today's waaaaaaaaa is still cold related. DH gets the good medicine (sudafed spray) and I get steam and saline spray

<I have drug envy> envy

somewherebecomingrain Sat 02-Mar-13 12:27:09

belle you should have a blog! Most entertaining! You almost make the hideousness of pregnancy sound fun!

Today I looked at my huge distended barrage balloon stomach and just thought id really rather not thanks - have a belly like that I mean.

Also borderline losing/not gaining weight so reassures the lo will be fine but I might not be!

Xx

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