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Pregnancy

I can't 'talk' to my bump! Feel ridiculous!! Am I the only one?!

74 replies

emeraldgirl1 · 03/01/2013 10:40

Friends and family have asked if I am talking to my bump or playing music to it and seem very surprised when I say I'm not. A quick trawl on MN makes me think a lot of people ARE talking to their bumps and I'm suddenly feeling as though I'm doing something very wrong by not doing so.

I feel very attached indeed to the baby, and stroke my bump quite a bit when she kicks, but I just feel absolutely ludicrous trying to talk to her!! I haven't asked DH to talk to her, because I think he'd feel just as silly. He does feel the kicks though, and always asks how she is IYSWIM.

Haven't even begun to consider playing her music etc, which I have now learned other people are doing... oh, dear, am I already destined to be a bad mother???

I'm getting worried that I'm not doing enough.

OP posts:

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TameGaloot · 03/01/2013 10:42

I don't think I talked to mine either. They hear you when you're talking to other people. They don't know who you're talking to.
I wouldn't worry if I were you

PandaOnAPushBike · 03/01/2013 10:42

I don't talk to my bump either. Way too weird for me. But I do sing as I do my chores and I guess he's listening in to conversations I have with others.

worldgonecrazy · 03/01/2013 10:44

Some advice I was given. When you don't know what to say, just say "I love you". This advice worked for me through pregnancy and when my DD was a tiny baby.

I didn't play music as she didn't seem to like it, except for the Flower Duet, which can get a bit tiresome after the first 4 months.

And yes, we both felt very silly talking to the bump but we still did it.

WhyIRayLiotta · 03/01/2013 10:46

Nah - I never really 'talked' to her... But I did sing loads - I always do sadly I'm tone deaf I sing around the house, to the radio, in the car etc. After I'd given birth, a few weeks later, the first time I was out without her in the car I was singing along to the radio and I became sad when I realised I didn't have my audience in my tummy anymore

If it makes you feel daft - don't do it - baby will know your voice from all the normal talking you do anyway

emeraldgirl1 · 03/01/2013 10:47

Thanks ladies that's good to hear! Feel a bit less alone!
I think I had been assuming she would hear just general conversation, I was really surprised at first when my friends and auntie sounded so surprised that I was not talking directly to her...
I suppose there's a bit of an issue around this for me as DH is hearing-impaired and we're naturally worried about this being inherited, so I don't want to talk or play music directly to the baby in case I 'jinx' anything IYSWIM. ie I don't want to assume she can hear us as I feel I need to get used to the idea that maybe she can't :(

OP posts:

MJP1 · 03/01/2013 10:49

Me too I felt silly doing it, and so did my partner I am now 35 weeks, I cannot wait to meet her,
we talk about her and refer to her name, I stroke and rub my bump and its only in the shower that I may quickly have a little chat. but do feel stupid doing so. The bub is a right fidget has been since very early on so sure we're doing somthing right.
We constantly have music on but nothing specific, I did try playing the same Smiths song over and over so make the bump love our sort of music but nothing, I do find to my horror that if the radio is on shouty FM (Radio 1) the bump seems to like Rhianna's screetchy voice :(
Dont think its wrong I know ive bonded with it already and the real chit chat will start when bub is here.

Sure everyone is different. xxx

TameGaloot · 03/01/2013 10:53

Mjp
Nah it's chilling out to the smiths and trying to get away when it hears Rihanna

3ForMe · 03/01/2013 11:00

Never talked, sang /warbled, to any of my bumps.

We are and always have been, perfectly bonded.

I played classical music with dc1 and bump wriggled around.

But that's it.

Don't worry if you don't do it, nothing wrong with you at all. Everyone's different. Good luck with your pg

Bunnychan · 03/01/2013 11:01

I don't talk to mine but I'm a primary school teacher so I figure that baby hears me talking, reading stories and singing when I'm at work. I do however, talk to the baby in my head- odd I know! Usually wishing it to kick for me or to be ok lol x

HoneyDragon · 03/01/2013 11:02

I don't think I talked to either of my bumps till about 36 weeks, and then it was only to tell them to start thinking about getting the hell out

comeonbishbosh · 03/01/2013 11:03

No, have never talked to my bump 1 or bump 2. I'm sure it's one of those things that if it helps you and you enjoy it than fine, go ahead. But I don't believe it makes the blindest bit of difference to the little one inside. As someone mentioned above, they hear your voice all the time talking to other people. While he/she is inside me, my bodies job is essentially a physiological one of keeping him/her alive. Once their out, I'm happy to be as attachment parenting as you like.

TwitchyTail · 03/01/2013 11:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaptainNancy · 03/01/2013 11:15

Don't worry, your baby will know your voice from hearing you speak to other, I never talked to my bumps, but they all turned their heads when I said hello to them 1st time.

stowsettler · 03/01/2013 12:05

Just like TwitchyTail, bump only gets talked to directly if she's causing me pain!
I've got 2 dogs and talk incessantly to them, all gooey stuff so I reckon if she can hear that, she'll get to know the sound of my voice!

rrreow · 03/01/2013 12:32

I can't talk to my bump (second pg, couldn't in first one either). I had trouble talking to my DS as well for the longest time, especially in public. He's 20 months now and I'm getting better at it. It just kind of feels weird to talk to someone who doesn't respond verbally! I do talk to my cat (but only when no one else is around!)

noblegiraffe · 03/01/2013 12:40

I remember with my first pregnancy people banging on about playing classical music to your bump and me thinking I wasn't that keen on classical music so going out and buying a 'Best of John Williams' cd because hey, that's orchestral. So my bump heard the Indiana Jones and Star Wars themes quite a lot, but luckily seems unaffected. Talking felt awkward and silly when pregnant, but when the baby arrived, not a problem at all. Don't worry about it!

JoJoCK · 03/01/2013 12:44

I talk to my bump and dh thinks I am mad!

MrsReiver · 03/01/2013 12:55

The only time I've ever spoken to my bump is to tell it off when it's keeping me awake at 1am!

DS has read it stories though, which was incredibly cute!

BonaDea · 03/01/2013 12:58

I rarely speak to my bump as such, but I did buy a CD of lullabyes for the car. There are 5 tracks which I like, which take about 15 minutes to sing through, so I tend to do that either on the way to or from work most days. My thinking is that when he / she is born those will be familiar and comforting songs which will remind him / her of being in the safe, cosy womb.

But talking just seems a bit odd. What are you going to say and how does the baby know you are talking to it? As others have said, you talk all day long, so the baby will still know your voice and that of your partner.

10storeylovesong · 03/01/2013 13:01

I've not talked to my bump yet but quite relieved to find that he seems to respond to Foo Fighters and Jet! No dancing to crappy pop music thank God! Although it doesn't get played in my house so not really had chance! I might try him with Smiths and see how we get on!

Myliferocks · 03/01/2013 13:04

Never spoke to any of my 5 bumps.

SamSmalaidh · 03/01/2013 13:06

Never occurred to me to talk to my bump, how weird! Didn't even realise this was a thing you were supposed to do

Why would you

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Thumbwitch · 03/01/2013 13:14

I only really spoke to mine when I was alone - in bed at night (I had to sleep alone because I had a lot of pain and ended up sleeping on a beanbag to ameliorate the acid reflux), or while driving on my own. DS1 had a few chats with the bump, which was very sweet - I can't remember DH saying much to it though! I think he was a bit more forthcoming with DS1, when he was a bump, but he felt a bit daft as well.

I don't think it matters - the baby will hear your voice every time you speak (so long as her hearing is fine, which we all hope for you it is) and that's all she needs, really.

upanddown83 · 03/01/2013 13:26

I'm 20 was and definitely don't talk to my bump at all I like u op stroke my bump and really enjoy it being there but I don't talk to the skin holding my baby in!
I do however use the baby to not have to get off sofa for snacks I tell dp baby wants crisps etc and that daddy has to get them!

upanddown83 · 03/01/2013 13:27

I am 20 wks!

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