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First time pregnant, if you could give me one piece of advice?!?(109 Posts)
I'm 27 weeks pregnant with my first baby and wondered if you could give me one piece of advice on labour/ babies/ new borns etc what would it be??
It's totally normal if your baby only wants to sleep on you, just go with the flow. You'll actually be quit upset when they
eventually decide they want to sleep by themselves.
Ignore any advice that says 'your baby only needs to be fed every X no of hours' or 'if it's only been X no hours since their last feed, you know they aren't crying because they're hungry' . Always offer boob/bottle...you feel really mean if you've tried everything else for an hour of screaming following the above advice, only to find the poor mite is starving/wanting that comfort
EVERY BAD PATCH WILL PASS, they do amazing developmental things in the first few months and it makes them quite cranky. Just roll with it and remember the good times are just around the corner. It is sooooooo hard to do though after days of non-stop crying
by you let alone baby
If you think of questions write them down to ask your midwife at her next visit... baby brain makes you forget so much
There are millions of books out there, if you read any just pick out the bits you like and ignore the rest. They all contradict each other anyway, so do what works for you.
Labour - stay as active and upright as you can for as long as possible, gravity helps. And have a sippy bottle of water... one of those with a straw you can suck is best. And try not to get your heart set on any 1 birth method, it's very traumatic if it doesn't work out. Try to go with the flow and remember the only important outcome is a healthy baby and a healthy mum
Postpartum - huge sanitary towels, buy el cheapo ones as they don't have fancy plastic covers so are softer. Avoid wings (hell on stitches/grazes/bruising). Open up one end, put ice cubes in, seal up with elastoplast and freeze. Heaven. And don't look at or examine by hand your undercarriage for a couple of weeks it can be a bit upsetting but it improves a lot in a couple of weeks, so don't traumatise yourself!
Ask for pain meds if they don't offer, it's not a time to be tough! And Lansinoh for nipples. Better texture than the other nipple creams.
Make sure MWs give you heaps of help with BF, get them to check you're latching right etc and get them to help you with different positions, sometimes later on, only 1 will work (babies are weired) and it's much easier if you've had a go like that before
Most of all, ENJOY IT, those first few days/weeks are amazing and you'll soon wish you could have them back
sobbing with nostalgia
Oh and after babies born (don't do it yet as you might get a bit scraed) google 'wonder weeks' it's a series of developmental leaps babies go through in 1st 2 years and when to expect them. I don't know if I saw the so called leaps as they describe them, but DEFINITELY corresponded with the fussy periods, and totally gave me reassurance that it was something normal and that it would pass soon.
I am a first time mom to be with a due date of August 8. I was looking online for some of the common problems during pregnancy and found this article extremely helpful. Thank you mommies for all of your submissions.
dont pull tags out straight away of any presents you have been bought! i did and ended up with about seven of those small teddies holding a blanket which are used to comfort babies. think i stopped pulling the tags out after the fourth one and ended up taking them back to the shop to exchange for something useful instead! obviously dont ask whoever has bought them for the receipt! plus the same with clothes you may think something looks cute at first when its been bought for you but try them on the baby first before pulling tags out as you may not like your baby in it once its on! plus when u are finally out and about you will see loads of lovely clothes for your baby which you will want to see them in instead. i know it sounds harsh but why waste the opportunity of exchanging it for something you really like! most shops will exchange items without a receipt! i did this with quite a few items of clothing we got as presents and ended up with about £40 to re spend in next!!
Get a doula. Mine made a big difference to my childbirth experience.
During labour try to relax and do what your body tells you. Made it so much easier.
My baby would only sleep on me and I spent a looong time trying to get him to sleep elsewhere, convinced he would be 14 and still sleeping on me and he just grew out of it. If I could go back I'd have just enjoyed the time I was tied to the sofa with a sleeping baby instead of fretting about it.
Also if you notice a reddy colour in a newborn nappy tell the midwife, it may mean they're not getting enough milk from you and that isn't the end of the world and doesn't mean your hopes for breastfeeding will be dashed, it just means you need some help getting your milk in. I still remember sobbing all over the midwife like it was the end of the world but happily breastfed to 14 months in the end.
I know everyone seems to be saying don't read books and I didn't - however this time round I flicked through the baby whisperer and thought the bits about 'reading' babies cries and body language could be useful, especially to a first time Mum. I'd read that chapter in a passing library rather than buy it though!
Everyone says you know your baby and follow your instincts, but sometimes people can feel helplessly bewildered by the language of this little stranger who feels more like an alien has landed and taken over your world than someone you 'know'. It can take a bit of time to get to learn the cries and read the signs, so don't be afraid if you feel a failure for not automatically knowing. You're not failing, you're just completely normal! And it does get clearer and more obvious as you get to know your baby's little personality.
Don't have any expectations of labour.
The first few weeks with your baby, you will feel like you've been hit by a truck. You will feel like you're living on a different planet and that the rest of the world cannot possibly exist any more. Like everything else, this passes. You will feel normal again. At some point, you will suddenly think "Oh! This is ok! I can do this!"
Breastfeeding can be really hard. If it's something you want to do, ask for help at the hospital and do not let them discharge you until this is established.
Accept help from family and friends of they are nearby!
Don't have any expectations of how you will feel after giving birth- you might feel elated, disappointed or nothing. You might fall in love with your baby instantly or it might grow gradually. All of these are fine and normal.
Drink plenty during labour! I forgot and for terribly dehydrated which meant my blood pressure dropped quite dramatically.
Enjoy these last few weeks before you have your baby. Have nice singers, go to the cinema, relish a good night's sleep, have sex. Of course your life isn't over when you have a baby, it's just beginning- but you will miss these simple pleasures as it does get a bit harder to be spontaneous.
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