Mumsnet Talk

Anyone who has done this before, if you could give one piece of advice or if there is one thing you would tell yourself now that you wish you had known when you went into labour.

What's the best piece of advice you got?

My advice: ignore most of the well meaning advice your given. Find what works for you and your baby and ignore what everyone else is doing.

Your lips get really dry in labour, so lip balm a must!

It's not the end of the world if you don't bf, for whatever reason.

Do not tell anyone you are in labour except your birth partner(s) (and the midwife obviously!) and make sure they don't tell anyone either. It could be a long old slog and the last thing you need is people calling you, your DP and the hospital constantly wanting updates or mad relations deciding to wait around at the hospital or trying to sneak into the delivery suite . Call people when you and baby are safe, well and have had time to snuggle.

I haven't had my baby yet (two weeks to go til due date!) but the midwife said something that I haven't read anywhere else, apologise for not really being qualified to answer but...

The midwfie said that if you wet a maternity pad with hot water and get either the midwife or your DH to hold on your perinium then it helps the skin stretch more easily and makes tearing less likely.

you do love your baby in an instinctive way straight away, but you're only just starting to get to know them and it's a roller coaster, especially the first few days, so don't worry if you don't feel the way people's facebook statuses would have you believe that all new mums feel about their labour and the following couple of days. Its quite normal to feel a whole range of confusing emotions, your hormones are going bonkers.

It will all heal - eventually

To go to bed for the first couple of days after you're home from hospital.

Labour completely drains you, and you need time to recover, never mind the stress and strain of looking after a newborn. I came home and tried to be up and about and looking back I really wish I hadn't. You need to get into living 24 hours, day & night have no meaning to a newborn, but it can be a very hard transition for adults to make. So I wish I had stayed in bed so I could sleep whenever I could, just getting up for meals and the bathroom, at least for the first couple of days.

1. Get the epidural.

2. There's a heck of a lot of bleeding in the subsequent days and weeks.

Rest and relax.

Whatever position is comfortable for you and makes you more able to handle contractions is the one you should be in, whether that's squatting/all fours/whatver. Don't deliver lying down just because you are 'expected' to and make sure your birth partner knows what you want. I let myself be laid down with my DD and despite feeling really uncomfortable, I didn't like to ask why I was laying down or ask to be moved. A tear and a bruised coccyx made me realise the error of my ways!!!

I took lucozade to drink for energy during labour but it was way to fizzy and I could've done without the burps during contractions! Still drinks only!

When they offer you tea and toast, take them up on the offer. I didn't and then promptly fainted when I stood up to get a shower (forgot I hadn't ate for about 2 days)

Keep an open mind re birth plan and whatever happens will be the right way for you. Do not pressure yourself into thinking you have to do things a certain way.

Good luck!

Listen to your own body the midwives aren't always right.
I was told I was smiling and talking to much to be in labour, when I was finally examined I was 5cm dilated and DS was born an hour later

If you get the chance to take a second birth partner in - do it. I was in labour for more than 48 hours and we could have done with an extra person. I didn't want my mum because I thought she's take over but actually I really needed her to take over.

One more - disposable knickers. Don't ask , just put them in the bag!

And if you get heartburn during pregnancy take the gaviscon in as it doesn't stop straight after birth .

Keep your eyes on the prize!

If you decide you want to have an epidural insist that you want it when you ask....don't let them say "In a while"

The answer to 'would you like an epidural?' when you have been in labour for FOUR DAYS (yes, DD, I am looking at YOu)

The answer is YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!

breathe in the gas and air BEFORE a contraction as it takes few seconds to kick in. If you are strapped up to a monitor then your labour partner should see the contraction coming and say 'NOW"!

I didn't manage to time it properly and by the end it was brain numbingly painful. No pain relief by accident rather than design.

Oh and do hypnobirthing - invaluable for staying calm.

Whatever kind of labour you have, you may find yourself going over and over it in your head for days, even weeks after. To the point where it stops you sleeping even though your baby is.

Being in water might be really uncomfortable - don't assume anything

And second the disposable knickers, and the maternity pads (lots of them)

And it so worth it, honest, honest, honest.

yeah can I change mine to do hypnobirthing too! It doesn't mean you are committing to no intervtions and a home water birth, it just helps you to relax and be confident no matter what birth you have

Remember to go for a wee regularly- a full bladder can hold things up (and you might need a catheter before delivery which is fine but not exactly ideal)
Don't stress about tearing, you will not notice it happening and it will heal
Oh, and when you are pushing, it's, er, basically the same as trying really hard to do a poo!