3 year old pooing at night

[LCF2021]

DS will be 3 next month and we started potty training 3 weeks ago. He’s doing brilliantly with wees at home but not great at nursery or grandparents houses but the biggest issue is the poo which I know is really common. On several occasions at home he’s said he needs a poo and will sit on the toilet to do it but most days, especially when he’s been in childcare he’ll hold on to it until he has a nappy on at night. I know he needs a poo and his tummy becomes huge and distended but he just won’t go before bedtime. He’ll happily sit on the loo for 10-15 mins but nothing and then he’ll wake twice in the night having done a poo. Last weekend we had family over all day so he was distracted and refused to sit on the toilet due to FOMO and ended up in dreadful pain, lying on the sofa and then vomited in his bed as he was beyond constipated.

Any suggestions? We have considered not putting a nappy on at night and dealing with a few messy nights but hopefully he’ll realise that he really doesn’t want to poo in bed.

No advice unfortunately, we are in the same situation with our little girl who turns 4 next month. Id rather change her nappy before she goes to bed than have her constipated. I would maybe go to the doctors to rule out anything medically.

I had this with my DS I used to leave him on the toilet with a book and wait outside as he got embarrassed about having a poo and the book seemed to distract/relax him abit

Give extra water and fresh juice, grapes so child won't be constipated and will release poo. Make a big fuss of child when they were or poo on potty. I used to give potty sweets. Which were 5 Smartie's for a poo and 3 for a wee. Only time my 2 1/2 year old got sweets so he tried to oblige.

Could you give him some bubbles to blow while sitting on the loo? It's very hard to hold in a poo while blowing bubbles?

As you’ve only started training recently if he says he wants to go in the nappy I’d let him have one when he asks. You can work on using the toilet in a couple of months.
If you want to press on with the toilet:
Bribery, bribery and more bribery.
Glycerin suppositories when he’s constipated as the pain will make him more averse.
if he’s used to going with a nappy on, use toilet paper to mimic the covered feeling at the front.

If he's going every night (in a nappy) then he's not constipated. Just uncomfortable. The vomiting after not having a poo all day is a concern.

Up the fluid intake, decrease the pressure, celebrate the wins.

I am also trying to work on this at the moment! My little girl is 3 in September, great with wee's but will only poo in her nappy and we have charts and sweets/stickers as an incentive but they are not working..

My DD was exactly the same. She was dry just before her 3rd bday but poos only clicked into place when she was 3 and 9 months! We trued all sorte- bribing with chocolate button for trying to do poo in toilet or potty, prizes for trying to do poo in toilet or potty, with holding nappies etc. None of it worked. I started to panic when she got her 30 hours and went to prr school..
What worked in the end was: not withholding nappies as she would just hold the poo for days. 3 days she held for once and I cracked and gave nappy! You don't want them constipated because it will hurt to go and this can cause them to hold more in future.

Instead we did tiny baby steps.
Step 1- poo in nappy whilst standing in bathroom. Not allowed to poo anywhere else in house.

1. Poo in nappy in bathroom and changed her standing up in bathroom *previously we had been changing her lying down
2. Poo in nappy whilst sitting on toilet. We had to bribe with prizes at this stage. She found it very hard to poo sitting down rather than standing.
3. Poo in nappy that had hole I cut in back of it. I told her a few days before we had a special nappy that would help her do a poo straight into toilet. The day i put it on her though i didn't tell her it was special nappy. Make sure you put loo roll down loo first to avoid splashing that might scare them. Made huge deal that poo went in toilet, let her look, let her flush, lots of praise. Big thing about mr poo is going to join all his friends now and he's so happy cos poo belongs in toilet not in a nappy.
4. Began to cut hole larger and larger on the nappies until they were totally crotch less.
5. Told her she was so grown up she now had a new special nappy (just the stretchy waistband off a pull up!) A prize had to be used for this stage but she used it successfully first time.
6. 'Lost' the special waistband. Big prize offered to try without. Was successful.

There was 2-3 weeks on each stage- we had to do it so gradually to move at her pace basically. But we got there. Tons of praise and prizes every time she did it in toilet using special nappy. Toilet paper put in toilet every time to avoid splashing.

She now.goes for poos totally independently and that 14 weeks is now a distant memory! Good luck x

Also when cutting nappies do it somewhere over a sink or bin because all the little moisture absorbing crystals go everywhere!

I’d open a nappy and line the potty with it, then get him to sit on it to poo.
‘Lots of them don’t like the feeling of it falling away.