Mumsnet Talk

Or know anyone not knocked for six by the arrival of their first child?

I ask following a conversation with my brother and his wife(ttc) who have been invited to spend Christmas day with a couple who are good friends of theirs. Which would be absolutely fine, until you know that their friends are expecting their first baby any day.

I said I thought it unlikely that these friends will actually host Christmas day for six with a brand new 3 week old baby. My brother said, "Not everyone is knocked for six by the arrival of their first, you know".

Was it just me who was overwhelmed in the first few week?!

I found the first few months the easiest! Basically cos he slept all the time and hardly cried. Apart from the nighttime feeds, it was a breeze

I found the first few weeks in a lovely wee bubble. I've been knocked for six ever bloody since though!

i was knocked for six suffered a traumatic birth, ended up bed bound for first 3weeks so couldnt even look after my own baby let alone other people. i think your brother is expecting too much.

I thought the firstfew weeks with DC1 were some of the most magical moments of my life. I was so much happier and calmer than I ever could have hoped.

However, I doubt I would have felt that if I had tried to host a load of people for Christmas dinner.

I was like a rabbit caught in headlights for about the first six months.

Sat on the sofa bfing for about the first six weeks with both of them.

DC1 - a walk in the park - did huge Sunday lunch for family and friends when he was 4 days old

DC2 - totally different story. COMPLETELY knocked me for six. I was a miserable zombie for months

I wasn't knocked for 6, no

Wouldn't have fancied hosting Christmas Day, though!

TBH I started to dement from about the 3m mark when the sleep deprivation kicked in Big-Style

I am still knocked for 6 after having a child full stop

I was completely shocked by ds's arrival and by how bloody traumatic a fairly textbook birth is.
I was convinced we had made a terrible mistake or the first few wweeks. Took me mmonths to really get used to him and love him.

I think your brother is probably right. Not everyone is knocked for six by the arrival of their firstborn, but am sure the vast majority are. And even if they aren't knocked for six, I'd bet all the money I don't have that they will regret hosting Christmas for 6, even if the baby is a doddle.

Wonder which camp your brother and his wife will fall into when theirs is born. They'll probably cringe!

Yes, I was knocked for six with firstborn - lots of crying/thinking I would never cope, antidepressants. It was quite a sad time in a way.

Kept waiting for the baby blues to appear with second but they never did. Had a fantastic time.

Not much difference between the amount they slept or ate, but the birth of my second was a much more positive experience. And I'd done it once before and knew I COULD cope (just!).

We need a "snort" emoticon, as we don't this will have to do

Didn't knock me for six at all. Also made a huge Sunday lunch for 6 adults the second Sunday after he was born. I was still in hospital the first Sunday.

I had such a rotten pregnancy that having a newborn has been a doddle. He's three months old and I'm finally coming down from the crazy energy rush (have had a lazy week). Of all the new mums I know though, I was probably the most energetic of all of us--but really it was just the relief from sickness, SPD, water weight gain, and carpal tunnel/tendonitis. I reckon I COULD have hosted a Christmas dinner when he was 3 weeks, but if you'd asked me during the pregnancy I'd have said no way in hell.

I wasn't knocked for 6, found it the easiest time so far, except for breastfeeding, which, due to issues, would have meant I wouldn't have felt up to cooking for 6 people on Christmas day.

tbh, its going to be christmas anyway,and they are bound to want to celebrate it

as long as your brother and his missus are prepared for the idea that they may well need to muck in, it should be fine.

by 3 weeks we had had people over for dinner, been out to a restaurant (alone) for my birthday, to dinner at a friends etc.

just make sure it was the mother to be rather than an overenthusiastic husband who issued the invitation.

The first few weeks after having ds were the most miserable of my life. No idea what I was doing, recovering from an em cs, no help and expressing as he would not latch on. Not brushing my teeth, not showering, surviving on m+s ready meals (actually, that bit wasn't too bad ). Hiding when guests came round and leaving dp to deal with them. We were on strict GF by 6 weeks and I finally chilled out a bit.

DD was much easier, but even then I'm jolly relieved I never have to look after a young baby again.

It's just a roast dinner. I would have thought its easier to have people round, especially if they are willing to wash up and chip in, than take a newborn baby around elsewhere

Why am I thinking of the "New mums-why so deathly dull" thread also active at the moment. Your brother may be bored to tears after a huge dose of "baby's first christmas".

Incidentally are these friends not overwhelmed by adoring grandparents/extended family?

And, yes I was knocked for six. Particularly at Christmas (when dd1 was 8 weeks old) when the house filled with huge lumps of garish plastic specially imported from China to jingle jangle all through the festive season.

nope, ds was a breeze as a newborn and I was uber-chilled mummy. Have struggled like crazy since he turned 18mo though (and that was a year ago !)

Still don't think I would have offered to host Christmas though. your brother and his dw might be advised to be ready to do the cooking / hosting themselves - their friends might not be knocked for 6 or they could be on their knees following bad birth experience or total sleep deprivation.

Wow, good to know some people have had a good first few weeks. I think a lot depends on the birth tbh. And the easy babies have made up for it later.

Well, we wait and see how this couple cope. I note they are also planning a home water birth and I just can't help smiling to myself and thinking that they really have NO idea!!!

I agree that having an easy first few weeks is not the same as wanting to host Christmas for six. I'll let you know if my brother and wife turn up at ours as usual

Also, good point about checking that it was the wife and not over enthusiastic DH who issued the invite....

I def was... But she could have her baby early and he/she maybe a little bigger or she could go two wks over have a cs and only be out of hosp a few days, ya never know... Maybe he should jus hav an alternative plan just incase... That said it might all go to plan and they hav no problem havin a slap up meal (using loads of ready prepared things to Make life easier i hope) and a lovely time

In my case it didn't depend on the birth at all. DC1 traumatic induction following sudden onset pre-eclampsia. 50 hour labour. Forceps. Needed several blood transfusions afterwards. Yet as soon as I left hospital I was on a huge high and breezed through the next couple of months. Then had a textbook labour with DC2 but found first weeks harder. I have no idea what happened after DC1 but I wish I could have bottled those hormones.