Mad to have a 5 year age gap?

[BlossomMill]

I have a 5 year old boy and a 4 year old girl, there are 17months between them. Youngest is starting reception in September and eldest will be going into year 1.
Are we mad for thinking about having another baby? Will the age gap just be too much of a pain? 4 & 5 year old are very much into similar things and can play nicely together although there is a lot of sibling rivalry where they are so close in age. If we did have another are they just going to feel left out alot? aahhh how do you know if you are done having more babies?

I have a 10 year old and a 2 year old and I really wish I had them close in age. They are both so different, different needs, you take one to soft play and the other is too big for it, it's a nightmare. xx

I have a 5 year gap.

It's worked really well for us tbh, my son dotes on his baby sister. There's been no jealousy.

I have a large gap and love it. I think you’d be crazy to have a small gap - I couldn’t think of much worse than having two so close- but you already do 🤣 so I think if you can cope with that you’d find a larger gap easy!

There’s 7 years between my oldest and youngest, it’s lovely and far from unusual.

Like pps I have a big gap. 5 years 8 months. Wouldn't have it any other way tbh. Dote on each other.

Did you always want to have three children or is it a recent urge to have another?
DH and I always thought we wanted just one and then when she was getting close to 4 we decided we wanted another...
Absolutely adore our second child as well as our first and glad we had a second but in all honesty I think this kind of age gap can be very limiting.
Although they get on OK I don't think they will ever properly play together - their needs and interests are very different, it makes family days out quite hard and often we tag team with one each as it makes it easier.

In your position I don't think I'd go for another but really only you can decide.
I also think you may well need to limit what you can do with the elder two quite a lot by having a third who will be much younger.

It could put a strain on your marriage too as you will be much more split in terms of looking after the different needs. Something to think about..

There is a mum at school with one in y2 and one in y1, then a 2yo and a 1yo. Looks cute with two pairs.

Another 2 close together? 4 was easier than 3....

I have a 5 year gap and it’s great. I don’t know how people do smaller gaps. It meant I fully got time with each of them as a baby and older one could help/be independent enough to sort herself out when I was busy with younger one. Also, no double nursery bills and lots of time for career building between.

I have a 7 year age gap. It has its pros and cons, but mainly I'm glad we left it longer to have our 2nd. His big sister adores him and they play nicely together. I would go for it! I was going to only have one child, but knew I would regret it when it became too late.

I have a 20month gap between 1st n 2nd, and 3 year gap between 2nd and twins and a 8 year gap between twins and 5th lol we decided we didn’t want anymore after the twins but ended up with surprise baby number 5, (5 months) and big brothers n sisters love her, big age gap is nice actually, they all play with her more than they do each other lol, the most awkward age gap im finding is between my 1st (girl) and girl twin (4 nearly 5 year gap one just turn 9 this month and the other turns 14 next month) they do not get along very well lol xx

I was chatting to a mum the other day who has 21 months between her first two then 5 years for the next one, the youngest often feels left out as the older two are so close.

I think if you have one then another 5 years later it is very different to having two close in age then a third. There’s no way the third wouldn’t feel left out/be an annoyance to the older two.

DH and his sister have 6 years between them, and both she and us have much smaller (20 month) age gaps for ours as neither of them enjoyed that gap in particular - it wouldn't be for me as I'm not that enamoured by the baby phase so keen to get out of it quickly!

My youngest brother is ten years younger than I am, we are very close. Although I'll admit I found him a pain when he wanted to go everywhere with me as a teenager, I fobbed him off by telling him, if I saw The Osmond's while I was out, I'd ask them if he could join the band, he fell for it every time.

I have a five year gap between 3 of mine and I think it's perfect.

Dsis and I are 15 years apart and now as adults are very close and talk all the time. We don't see the age gap any more.
I wouldn't have three kids though, too many especially in this financial climate.

I think a 5 year gap works with 2dc or if you have 4dc, with 2 close together then the 5 year gap and another 2. I think it would be harder with 3 because 1 child is always left out in a 3, and that's most likely to be the one with a bigger gap. Although if 3rd is a girl then eventually she might be closer to your DD and your DS would be left out.

Personally I would only have a 3rd if you would also have a 4th with a small gap between 3&4. But that's a big logistical headache and wouldn't be for me!

My DBs have a roughly 2 year gap, then a 5.5 year gap to me - I liked it, they were good bros, I don't ever remember feeling left out.

Oh, and I don't think I'd have been at all pleased if my parents had had a fourth child near my age!

I have a 5yr gap between DC1 and DC3. Obviously the relationship is different to a small age gap (which I have between DC1 and DC2) but that's not a bad thing. There isn't really any rivalry and as they grow up the age gap starts to feel less in terms of all can go bowling, climbing etc.

I did go on to have DC4 with a 2 year gap.

5 year gap is more manageable than a short gap

I have a 10 year gap between my 2nd and 3rd. It’s been great.

Remember they will grow up. And then five years gap is nothing really between adults.

I had an almost 3 year age gap between my sons; they're now 14 and almost 17. I'm divorced from their dad.
Then I met my now husband and we have a 4 yo daughter together (planned - he had no bio children when we met!)
So a 13 year age gap between my youngest and my eldest 😀
I made the comment to my hubby the other day that soon we will have one learning to read and one learning to drive!