Taking young baby for evening meal

[matana]

Hi all, your views and advice are welcome!

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and planning to take husband and baby to the Lake District for my birthday weekend in January. Baby will be around two months by then.

We firmly believe that children need structure and routine, but also believe they should enhance your current life and not change it beyond all recognition. Therefore we would like to encourage baby to be a bit flexible on some occasions - if possible!

While we're in the Lakes we are planning to go out for an evening meal with our baby. If all is well, i'd like to bath, feed and put baby down in the carry cot before walking into the village with him/ her and going for a meal while he/ she is asleep. I know it depends hugely on the baby (and the baby's mood at the time!) as to whether or not he/ she will settle and this will work, but does anyone have any views or advice? Has anyone else done this and how has it worked out? Do you have any tips? We are prepared to give up and have a quiet evening in the hotel instead if necessary, but would love to try to make it work if possible.

Thank you!

Hi there.

No direct experience-my twin sons are grown up, and we didn't take them out with us for meals until they were older. However, I am 32 weeks pregnant with DD and we are planning to do similar-not just because we want to socialise her from a young age to fit in with regards to social situations (where appropriate!)but also because of a lack of available sitters-my parents are now dead and my H's are well into their 70's.

I think your plan sounds sensible and measured. My friend has a new daughter aged 8 weeks and from around 2 weeks she has been out to dinner with them and to the cinema with mum, with no problems.

Um, any point in me saying that what you firmly believe now may well fly out the window when the baby arrives?

Think of the restaurant - is there room for a pram/carry cot? will it be bulky and in the way? is a car seat a better option?

Alot of babies of that age are in a charming stage called 'scream all evening' in which case a nice lunch might be a better plan. Think about walking in January in the Lakes in the evening with a baby in a pram - I know you can wrap up nice and warm, but really think about the car option (presuming you have one/can drive).

Of course you may have a baby who will peacefully snooze while you eat, but be prepared to eat with a baby on your knee too. I've been to restaurants with small babies myself so yes, it's doable, but like everything with babies, you have to expect to change your plans at the last minute and be prepared to juggle alot!

Congrats on baby - not long to wait now!

I have also found that both my babies were unsettled in the evening, having said that I remember taking youngest one to a very nice restaurant in Central London, and he slept all the way there on the underground, all the three-course meal, and woke up journey back for a feed. What I found is that pub lunches worked best for us, as usually the atmosphere is more relaxed.

I agree with fromage though, maybe you firmly believe in structure, but it doesn't mean that your two month old will have the same convictions!

By the way, I took my babies everywhere, Art exibitions, restaurants, pubs, and found that they are much 'portable' at 2-3-4 months old then they are when they start crawling.

Absolutely fine to plan it and hopefully it will work out, as long as you just bear in mind that babies arent predictable and yours will still be so little by then that you may have to change plaans if he has an unsettled evening or is pukey or something!
As long as you have aa back up, then go aheaad!

Just do it. The worst that can happen is that you have to leave without finishing your meal.

Rather than putting your baby in a pram, try puttin them in a sling, that way they will be close to you

All babies are so different... really, it's impossible to predict.

My mum tells me that she and my dad could take me anywhere at any time and I'd obligingly fall asleep on demand under any restaurant table. DD, however, insisted upon being held and cuddled and chatted to at all times... meals out were fine for as long as she was small enough to balance on one arm, though I once ruined a lovely babygro by spilling pumpkin soup down her neck.

See how it goes, I think.

"believe they should enhance your current life and not change it beyond all recognition. Therefore we would like to encourage baby to be a bit flexible on some occasions"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
(sorry)

By all means book it, but as others say, just be prepared for it all to have to change.

The 'putting baby down' is sometimes easier said than done I'm afraid. The change in routine/ temperature (cold walk to the village etc) could be unsettling and you may end up with one of you pacing up and down the restaurant while the other gobbles down food, and you both get hot and bothered by the irritated looks from the other diners who are trying to enjoy a quiet meal with a baby screaming blue murder in the background.

My honest opinion? I think the odds are that by the time comes and baby has arrived, you
a) won't feel like it
b) it will feel like an impossible and unbearably stressful thing to do...

Sorry....

Mine were both actually really good at being taken out to pubs/restaurants when tiny. They always slept like babies - think it's all the noise and the buzz of life going on, it makes them conk out IMHO.

It's when they get a bit older it gets a bit more tricky...

Not impossible, and I wouldn't worry about "spoiling" a routine,but you may find you have to feed dc (especially if bfeeding)all evening, interspersed with changing nappies, winding the baby and don't get much time to eat or chat. But it's nice to have a change of scene and yummy food even if you have to do all these things.

Yes- my comments are certainly influenced by the fact that with DS1 we NEVER managed to get a decent meal out with him - he was so difficult to settle, so curious about what was going on that he kept himself awake, and so LOUD when he cried that it was too stressful to try to perservere.

I think we felt we 'wasted' too much money on trying to have 'nice' meals which we didn't get to enjoy that in the end we gave up until he was older.

As others have said, lunch is often an much easier occasion....

Thanks all. I'm also thinking of having a couple of 'trial runs' much closer to home before then to see how little 'un responds! He/ she has been very chilled out in the womb and given me no trouble at all so far. Watch i'll now have the baby from hell though! If it's a nightmare on the trial runs we're close to home and have more control of the situation so can abandon our plans more easily and know whether it's do-able in future.

I know these things can't be predicted and we too need to be flexible, especially with baby being so little still, but i do think there's merit in trying to get baby used to different situations early on.

We'll get a take away and a bottle of wine if all else fails!

"We'll get a take away and a bottle of wine if all else fails!"

If you're BFing, the takeaway and wine (is that 'allowed' - can't remember?) will likely cause tummy upset and you'll be up all night with explosive nappies...

Enjoy your evening......

They're easier to take out as babies than when they can run around! I'm sure it will be fine-we took ds out loads when he was a few months old,they sleep mist of the time then anyway

Roo83 - my niece was an angel baby and my sister could take her anywhere, any time from an early age. She's now 16 months old and threw a right tantrum in a cafe the other day because my sister bought her a sandwich and she wanted my chips instead!

"If you're BFing, the takeaway and wine (is that 'allowed' - can't remember?) will likely cause tummy upset and you'll be up all night with explosive nappies..."

Don't be too pessimistic Whippet. I never found that the DDs were effected by any foods I ate when I was BF, and I certainly had wine .

OP - sounds like you have a sensible plan - it may all work out fine, and small babies are pretty portable really. I wouldn't bother doing dry runs though - it will either work out on the evening or it won't!

Thanks Bramshott - think i'm just looking for excuses to eat and drink as my husband has had a ready made taxi driver for the past eight months! I think i'm about due a nice cold glass of wine or two, having endured Glastonbury Festival and the World Cup stone cold sober.

I think you are overthinking this. I took my DS out for meals in his pram/car seat when he was tiny. Mostly they went fine - only one occassion when he would not settle at all.

Far easier with a pram-bound baby than one that is mobile.

DS is 2 now. Would never dream of taking him out for an evening meal. Make the most of having a tiny baby!

PS Don't forgot to buy a van to take all the baby stuff you'll need to the Lake District .

I took my two out quite often when tiny (after 5/6 months it got more difficult) but found I got a lot of practice at eating around and over a baby in a sling - they often wouldn't settle in a pushchair or car seat in a noisy restaurant but would sleep if cuddled up in a sling. Which was fine, but not ideal if soup or anything drippy was on the menu - after having to wash pasta sauce out of their hair a few times, I took to draping a napkin over their heads...

We went out for several evening meals with lo's. When ds2 was 6 wks old we were on holiday in France. An evening meal out and we had ds2 in a sling/in car seat and ds2 (who was 16 months old) in a single buggy. Both fast asleep But obviouslyjust depends on the baby!

It might work or it might not. The trick is not to get too stressed and go with the flow (have back-up plan if it doesn't work out).

Ds at that age would have slept all through a long boozy lunch but not have been so good between about 5 and 9pm. We frequently ate our evening meal in shifts. But sometimes he'd be fine so it's difficult to tell.

I think if you're relaxed, happy to play it by ear then there's no reason not to try whatever you like with a baby that age since they can sleep in a carrycot/car seat/sling as easily as anywhere - enjoy the portability!

My friend, who's been a single parent from birth, to her dd out with her regularly in the evening up until about 12 months and she slept like the proverbial baby, so you may strike it lucky!

(That should read: used to taker her dd out)

Whatever happens, your expectations are pretty key here. If you get too built up about it, you can get really stressed and spoil it for yourself. Go early (it gets busy and noisy later, sometimes lots of pissed people etc) and be kind to yourself, whatever happens. You can go out for lots of meals/holidays when they're older if this one doesn't work in the now.

We went away for a week when DD was 2 months old. For the most part it was fine and she slept all evening from about 6pm on, but the one night that we went out for dinner she was awake all night. Typical.

Also, don't automatically expect that the baby will be in a 'routine' by then. We were still very much following DD's cues at that point and couldn't have predictably put her down at a 'bedtime' for her to fall asleep until more like 4 months. Not for want of trying, mind.

Good luck though. And have a lovely birthday with your new addition.

I'm with Whippet and matildarosepink.

Lots of babies don't develop a`'bedtime' until 3/4/5 months because the biological clock isn't mature enough before then. That's why it often works best to wait a bit before trying to establish a 'routine'. In fact, for many babies, the biological clock doesn't fully synchronise with the 24 hour day till about 10 months.

Many young babies do spend the evening fussing (or screaming). Unsettledness in the early days peaks around 6-8 weeks.

I'd try and if it doesn't work out, you've not lost anything. We were still eating in shifts / walking a screaming baby round the streets in a sling at that point, but DS was a bit colicky.

Good luck, though - they're lovely and it's all worth it. :)

Wine whilst bf is fine as long as you're not drinking enough that you wouldn't be safe to look after a baby. (Kellymom link here.)

"quiet evening in the hotel" hahahahahaha as being the alternative. Have you factored in that the baby may only be 6 weeks old if its late. Not many 6-8 week olds are in a routine. May well be having a growth spurt and be feeding every two hours all day and night. Oh they are still at the 12-14 nappies a day at that age aren't they.

I did not feel very glamorous at 8 weeks after birth and the last thing I would have felt like is a weekend away. I'm sure your figure will snap back into shape and you will have a baby that sleeps through the night from birth. I really hope you do.