ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
My son (19) has just found out I lied to him and he is not happy(160 Posts)
When he was little we took him to Disneyland Paris and he fell in love with Chip from Chip and Dale....
He followed them around got their autographs and was besotted with Chip...he didn't like Dale
Upon leaving we went to the giftshop to buy him a cuddly chip toy, only they were all out of Chips and only had Dales left.
So I bought the Dale and told him it was Chip .....the difference is in colour of their nose
For years and years this soft toy has been his bedtime companion he still cuddles it now......
Then on Thursday he went to the Disney shop with his girlfriend to buy her baby cousin a present and he wanted suggested a Chip
Matilda I damn near wet myself there and I'm holding you and your dh responsible. I'm still chortling now and I don't expect to stop any time soon.
My two year old is very into creepy crawlies and what they all 'say'. If you ask him what a beetle says he will tell you solemnly (in a Liverpudlian accent) 'we're bigger than Jesus'. Thanks DH.
My mum told me when I was little that sun cream made you tan really quickly. Being a pale-skinned strawberry blonde, this was music to my ears. I was the whitest kid on holiday every year - we went through bottles of the stuff and I never once got burnt. I was at university before I twigged. It was most embarrassing to be on a beach with my friends rubbing oil over their bodies while I plastered an entire bottle of sun cream over myself.
A circle of mushrooms is called a fairy ring!
Egusta That's brilliant In an evil way
My dad told me that electric windows in cars worked via a cable underground that received radio waves which were transmitted when you pushed the window button.
Surely it would have been easier to just tell me that the same thing that powered the car was what powered the windows?
My mother told me that a circle of mushrooms in the garden was called a 'fairy ring' and I would go out and check for fairies regularly.
just found this thread, and crying laughing
haggis - when I helped out at brownies, the district commisioner confessed at camp that she had taken a group of brownies on a trip to scotland. They were getting bored on the coach so she told them to look out for haggis. Little creatures, small enough to fit in a matchbox with their left legs shorter than their right so they could run round hills. When scared they curl up in a ball and look like a stone.
Once half of the brownies had spotted a haggis out of the coach window, the other half started to get upset that they hadn't seen one. So she told them that sometimes they were tiny red kilts which you might catch a glimpse of.
By the time they arrived all the brownies on the coach had seen a haggis.
When she retired we made her a tiny haggis in a matchboz wearing a kilt.
We used to go on holiday to France, and on holiday we always bought bottles of chocolate milk to drink, which (apparently) they didn't sell in England
As we drove through France we passed loads of brown jersey cows. On the way to Dover we passed only black and white cows.
I was told that brown cows make chocolate milk and black and white cows make white milk, which is why we could only get it in France.
I believed it for year.
My friend was told age 19 by her football mad boyfriend that fans were given songsheets on the way into the stadium so everyone would know the words to the chanting. She believed this for years until the World Cup came on and she wondered aloud as to who did the translations for other countries.....
My dad, when he was young told his younger sister that people are born with a finite amount of words available to them, and if you talked too much then you would run out of words.
His sister did not speak for months. His desperate parents took her to child psychologists and everything before the truth came out.
My OH told our friend that people got their stripy effect lawns by sowing 2 different sorts of grass seed.
I used to think the bales in fields covered in black polyvinyl were cows in sleeping bags.
PENCILS FROM PENNSYLVANIA - that is genius.
I might do the Rabear thing, fluffy little buggers.
A girl at school had half the class convinced that in their house they only had limited "toilet time" every day, so if you needed to go and you'd run out of time, you had to borrow some from someone else in the house or just wet yourself.
I was told at the age of around 7 by a teacher that sheep have telescopic legs so they can stand on the side of hills. I believed it for years.
A dear friend of mine was told by his dad that Guinness is made from peat in the same way wine is made from grapes. He believed it until, aged 18 and recounting the tale of jolly Irish peat tramplers to his incredulous uni housemates, the truth dawned...
DH told DD the same story about the ice cream van's music meaning it had run out - she believed it for 4 years and only copped this summer (bloomin' van comes nightly to the estate in summer[grr])
My mother DIDn't lie to me when I was about 8, after a geography lesson in Sept/Oct sorta time, when the class teacher doing geography asked where was Lapland? I answered "up near the North Pole, where Santa keeps his reindeers" -to much hilarity in the class at the time (a mixed class of Y3 & 4). So a few weeks later, I was sat down at home and the truth about Santa was explained to me - I was devestated!! I hadn't been that bothered about everyone laughing at me, but this was cruel
My dad hated cats so much he would not admit they existed. When confronted with one of the creatures he claimed it was a cross between a rabbit and a bear called a Rabear. Only stupid people called these animals cats, said my dad. I didn't consider myself stupid, so I called my cat Rabear...
I can't remember when the truth dawn, but it was after I was married, so quite late.
A friend at uni told me that cars parked outside showrooms aren't ever stolen because they dont have engines. He said if someone wanted to buy a car it was towed round the back to a big garage where the engine would be lifted in by a small crane.
I believed him until I noticed him sniggering as I faithfully repeated the story to someone else
not for the first time
I am dying at 'Marty Marty Marty'
I had a moment of madness last week and told DS that the bogeys in his nose were melted brains falling out from watching too much TV/playing computer games... He is 8 so I didn't think for a second he would believe me but he is telling EVERYONE and keeps eating bananas (which I told him mend the brain). I feel so evil but he has stopped tv completely!
When I was at university my brainy engineering friend told me that the world was actually flat but spinning so fast, like a spinning coin, that it appeared round and that's why people said it was round. I beloved him for months. I have 2 honours degrees (although admittedly not in science) but am obviously a complete idiot.
We very nearly called our new puppy, arrived yesterday, Marty, just for the pleasure of calling Marty, Marty, Marty Marty. Only the thought that none of us would be able to stop laughing and that we would out ourselves to MNrs in the park stopped us.
Please don't let this thread die! It's been great
I remember asking my dad when I was about 6 why birds didn't get electrocuted when they sat on pylon wires - he told me they had rubber feet so they were insulated. I went through several years of being top of my year in science before repeating it to a boyfriend aged 16, only thought to question it when he cracked up...
Mind you, when my son started to understand the tooth fairy, I was slightly
tipsy silly and also told him about the tongue fairy and eyeball fairy, for when they needed to get bigger - when he realised I was joking a few months later, he was only disappointed he wouldn't get the extra money!
My great grandad told us some corkers:
My sister adamently argued with her class teacher in year 2 that a man sat on the end of the pier with a large fishing rod and intermittently pulled out the plug causing the sea to go away (tides) even at 29 she's still whenever it's mentioned!
He told us that wheat bales in fields were taken to factories and sliced up to make shredded wheat but the farmer left some in the fields to feed to shy giants!
We were also told that cows that grazed in fields with hills were bred to have one set of legs longer than the other to stop them toppling down the hill!
part way through this thread with tears streaming down my face
Marking my place to come back later
myhumps my humps my lovely camel humps
Ha ha ha ha!! What a brilliant thread "Marty marty marty" brilliant!
I can't think of a lie my parents told me <possibly still terribly naive>...
But ... a very good friend of mine had a Hamster as a child. It was a very naughty hamster and used to escape and chew through wires for things like the television, the VHS player, speakers etc etc... anyway, her brother revealed to her, at a birthday dinner a couple of years ago, that her parents had actually poisoned the hamster because of the chaos it used to cause and it had not died naturally - which she had always believed until that point.
She was still really upset when she told me the story (can't remember why her older brother chose the occasion to tell her) and of course good friend that I am I was in stitches!!!
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