When did/do you feel homesick, if ever?

(56 Posts)

I live in the Caribbean.
For once, it's cold, grey, windy.
I love the weather like this; just for one day I can walk in fresh cool air, without bugs, humidity,sun lotion, sun glasses, red blotchy cheeks, sweat pooling in my bra.I can leave the house and feel like I can breathe.
I can sit in the porch in a hoody.
I miss the seasons, my home city of London, my friends, my family so so much.
I have been here two years. I moved when my son was 12 weeks old.
I wonder if I will ever feel like I like it here.
I get on with it but on days like today it's all I can do not to weep with homesickness.
Do you get homesick?
Did it pass? Does it get better/come in waves/get triggered by certain things?

Salbertina Tue 05-Mar-13 07:54:52

Burst into tears watching Olympic opening ceremony, bursting with pride also!
Comes in waves like that still after a couple of years. Christmas etc can be hard also. As can looking at any typically british landscapes- gentle greens, crispy air, old villages...all can set me off!

TheAccidentalExhibitionist Tue 05-Mar-13 08:53:12

I miss the simplicity of the Uk, the ease of knowing how to do things and where to get things. Everything seems complicated here but that's because we are not used to the systems and ways of going things yet.
I'm able to give my DS, who has ASD lots more support here but I'm not able to obtain support myself. That makes a difference to me. There are so many charities and supportive networks in the UK and I was able to make good use of them. I miss that.
I agree, homesickness comes in waves. I miss the festivals in the UK, the raucous good natured humour of the Brits. I love the summers in France so that sort of makes up for it.

pupsiecola Tue 05-Mar-13 10:27:16

Whereabouts are you Dickie?

dickiedoodah Tue 05-Mar-13 15:57:46

pupsiecola- I'm in Mississippi in the states. Southern accent is interesting and then when they hear mine it blows people away!

Wibblypiglikesbananas Tue 05-Mar-13 17:33:05

I feel homesick when everything just feels so difficult! Moved here (US) 7 months ago and seriously underestimated culture shock - think we were duped by the same language thing. Well, it might as well not be!

I miss not being able to speak without having to repeat myself 10,000 times.

I miss Sainburys, John Lewis, M&S and Boots. In fact, I miss decent supermarkets, where fruit and veg are relatively cheap, where you can buy healthy ready meals and where everything hasn't been tampered with. I don't want milk and bread with added vitamin this and supplement that. And don't get me started on the salt and sugar added to babyhood...

I miss the NHS - though that may be the understanding of how the healthcare system works, rather than the treatment itself. So far, despite an excellent insurance policy, I've found US healthcare to be the NHS's standards but paid for. So - I either had very good NHS treatment in the past, or I should be getting way more for the insurance premiums we're paying. It ain't Bupa, is what I'm saying!

I also miss the support groups - NCT, breastfeeding groups, Sure Start centres. And there are so few baby groups here compared with London, which is where DD was born.

I miss good manners! I know UK customer service isn't always fab, but here things are on another level. I'm sick of the surly 'uh-huh' I get everywhere I shop and the lack of a smile, a cheery 'how are you?'. Sainsburys used to have lovely staff by comparison to my local Safeway!

Other things - the ease of chatting with family, either by phone or on Skype. Time differences mean its never convenient or we spend a lot of time midday at the weekend chatting - which is great in itself, but that's when we should be out having family time here, creating new memories.

I miss my local high street, with its independent shops and friendly faces. One faceless mall after another is what I see here, no character, no charm, no old village church or town hall or market square. Just bland newness...

anonymosity Tue 05-Mar-13 18:00:53

I honestly NEVER get homesick. I have phone and skype access to my immediate family email for friends. I have my own family here and plenty to be getting on with.
I suppose just after a UK visit that's gone well I do wonder when we'll next be back - in a slightly wistful way - is that minor homesickness I wonder?

MrsMarigold Tue 05-Mar-13 18:07:35

I grew up somewhere else and I really find Christmas hard, it just doesn't feel like Christmas.

bigbadbarry Tue 05-Mar-13 18:10:20

I'm back in the UK now but I used to get homesick when something apparently trivial was just so difficult. I remember crying real tears because I couldn't use my DVD player!

Thanks for the replies. It's a comfort to know I'm not the only one. YY to the Olympic ceremony weepathon. I fell apart watching that and still well up now. If I'd been back in the UK I'd have been proud but not hysterically sobbing!

Jo2508 Wed 06-Mar-13 11:05:27

I am about to move back to the UK and I am worried about being homesick for where I've been living for the last 6 years!
I've lived abroad most of my life, in various different countries, and didn't grow up in England but have lived there for a few years at a time over the last 20 years. When I'm living abroad, the things I miss about England are country pubs, Sunday papers, festivals, my old friends, and those stunning summer evenings you sometimes get...

melbie Fri 08-Mar-13 10:47:53

Never weirdly. Although I vaguely miss being able to wear jumpers more. It occasionally is cold enough here but never coat/scarf/hat cold. But that is usually a fleeting 30 seconds thought and then I remember the fact I can swim in the sea for 6 months of the year plus and life is good again!

Nancy54 Wed 13-Mar-13 19:02:14

Having children has made me want to go home. I'd been in France for eight years before having my twins in September but since they e been born, I ve feel like a longing to move back home!! Hoping it will pass as dp not too keen on the idea...

Deutschmum Tue 07-May-13 20:54:46

Does anyone still watch this thread? I get homesick when I say goodbye to visitors... I guess the highs don't come without the lows. I also freak out that my son needs a second language for nursery school when he's three.... Putting myself in a foreign place is one thing but my ds??! Anyone done this?

LittleMissLucy Wed 08-May-13 05:12:12

I don't feel homesick because I live at home (with my DH and DCs) - it doesn't matter where we are geographically.

MoelFammau Fri 10-May-13 01:28:24

I lived in Germany for nearly 3 years and wasn't ever homesick. Frustrated sometimes, yes. But never ever homesick. I'd move abroad again in a heartbeat.

howdoo Fri 10-May-13 01:52:07

I've been here (in the US) for five years now, and this thread has made me realise that I'm not really homesick any more, but blimey, I was (on and off) dreadfully unhappy for the first two or three years. For me, it's all about friends (am not particularly close to family) - I now have some lovely friends here. Also the friends in the UK have definitely gone one way or the other - I had two bridesmaids, one I don't talk to that often and TBH it is always me who calls, but I know she loves me and I am still her best friend. The other never calls and I know I am not that high on her list any more if you like and that hurts. Other UK friends, weirdly, I have got closer to. I appreciate good kind friends (over fun fairweather friends) so much more.

howdoo Fri 10-May-13 01:56:20

Also agree with LittleMissLucy, DH and DCs are sort of more "important" than if I was at home.

And am definitely in that "don't properly fit in anywhere" thing that is the fate of the long term expat. Which is why you need lovely non judgmental friends in both places.

WhoDat Fri 10-May-13 03:29:05

I get the Times on my iPad, it's same price and is wonderful (app is Times of London). I love it here (New Orleans), here nearly three years but like a lot of you haven't lived at home in Dublin for a long time. I do miss how cosy it is at Christmas, and I pine a bit knowing my close friends are out doing boozy lunches and drinks etc. My parents were with us for it this year and I hope they'll do it again. Kids are still believers so it's lovely to share it with them. Apart from that happy as a clam. Good friends, great social life, good school, great medical care. Occasional hurricane to be fair but you deal with that with a lot of this wine

My good friends are still my good friends wherever they are, and I put a lot of effort into keeping it that way. I have been horribly homesick in the past though and I do feel for you guys who are. There was open very rough patch in when I lived in Oz (pre DH) and it felt an awfully long way from home then sad

mirai Fri 10-May-13 03:44:48

I miss the seasons that don't get too hot or too cold.

I desperately, desperately miss my friends. They're all getting engaged/married/pregnant/significant birthdays and I am missing far too many celebrations.

I miss straight talking, sarcasm, being open and blunt with feelings and not having to watch every little thing I say or do in case the neighbours/colleagues see/hear/care.

I miss my dad. My mum has visited once but it's a 15 hour plane journey and my dad can't fly. I am going home for three days in June (15hrs each way I must be mad), and after that I won't see my darling dad again until Christmas 2014. sad DH asked me at the weekend if, instead of the UK that Christmas, could we go to Australia instead? There weren't enough hmm faces in the world for me to express how I felt and what I said to him then! He isn't that close to his family but I miss my parents every bloody day.

Great I'm at work now with tears in my eyes sad

Thumbwitch Fri 10-May-13 03:47:45

Comes in waves. Mostly when it's too fucking hot to move without breaking into a massive sweat sad
But also I had it badly when I got back from visiting people in the UK 2 weeks ago - I'm still not quite over it now. It was so nice, the weather there was lovely while we were there, and showing off DS2 (6mo) to all my friends and relatives was great. Coming back, not so much. sad
It will pass again and I'll get re-immersed into Aussie life, as usual - but every now and then it will come back.

mirai Fri 10-May-13 03:49:59

I also miss having friends. DH and I are the only foreigners around for miles; it's about a 3 hour journey to the nearest English speaker!

So, if I have a row with DH (thankfully not that common), or I just fancy having some girl talk with someone, or I just want someone else to talk to (as much as I love DH!), it just won't happen. I have no one else here apart from DH.

You could ask why I don't go home but the work is secure and we need to save for a house. (Although the exchange rate is vaporising our worth but that's a different thread).

Thumbwitch Fri 10-May-13 03:54:25

Oh yes, Christmas is a bitch. I miss the dark evenings, the Christmas lights in the streets, all the shops having trees/lights - here we get nothing in the street, most shops will have a small fake tree inside but nothing outside, and of course it's bloody hot! We have to wait until gone 9pm to go round and see house lights at their best, and not as many people here bother as where I used to live in the UK.

One day I will take the boys back at Christmas, so they can see it in all its glory. Then they can whinge about it too grin

TanteRose Fri 10-May-13 03:55:00

oh dear sad

{{hugs for mirai and thumb}}

mirai - I did a very quick trip back to meet up with family in France last autumn. Four days - it was sooo worth it smile have fun!

I have been abroad for 22 years now, and don't really feel homesick, BUT my siblings have finally started their families and I have nephews and nieces that I would love to spend more time with.
Also want to be able to just pop round my sisters etc for a chat - Skype is really not the same...

TanteRose Fri 10-May-13 03:57:30

x-posts

OK mirai - we have GOT to have a proper meet-up grin

can't have you feeling sad - you need wine with other MNers!!

Thumbwitch Fri 10-May-13 03:59:23

Note - DIAMOND jubilee, people, far more impressive than the Golden one! grin
And yet, despite the Queen being nominal head of state here as well, it was largely ignored here. People in shops that should have been stocking stuff for parties didn't even know it was happening sad .
That made me homesick; as did watching the road cycle race in the Olympics, and the rowing at Dorney Water (both in my old stamping area). I got really pissed off with the Aussie coverage of the Olympics as well - not because they covered the Australians, that wasn't an issue - it was the amount of time they devoted to things like bloody basketball, waterpolo and other events that, often, they weren't even in . Thank God for iPlayer!

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