Come and tell me 4 will be okay... Please?

(28 Posts)
Sleepthief Fri 10-May-13 14:55:36

Sorry for rambling incoherence, but here goes...

Three DCs - 8, nearly 4 and 2. Have been feeling a bit odd and just got a BFP! shock Thought we were done, but clearly not (although still early days). Am now in shock. Although have idly fantasised about having 4 in the past, it wasn't actually serious.

Please tell me 4 is no harder than 3 - please? Or at least that it's not as hard as the jump from 2-3 (especially given that DC3 was a Velcro baby and has only just started allowing me to leave his sight).

Fairly certain we will go ahead, as have always said that although we were happy at 3, if an accident occurred we wouldn't want to terminate. But I am currently shitting myself and in need of reassurance. And advice on how to break it to DH confused

We were just starting to get some semblance if a sex life back and now look what it's gone and done.

Was on the mini pill, by the way.

Help?

demi43 Fri 10-May-13 15:07:07

I have 3 and my close friends all seem to have 3 but we often talk about how 4 wouldn't be much harder Honestly! Would happily have 4 if I was about 10 years younger. Am one of 5 children, it was mayhem sometimes but have really happy childhood memories and I think the best bit is now having siblings that I'm really close to & my kids have lots of cousins. Lots of their friends don't have that experience as both parents from small families. I think you should be really happy about it but can understand your apprehension!

NAR4 Sat 11-May-13 22:18:56

Personally I found the jump from 2 to 3 the hardest and adding dc4 and dc5 really didn't make a massive difference. Love the term 'velcro baby's. My 1st, 4th and 5th baby were Velcro babies. The material wrap style slings are great to wear them around the house so you can get housework done and do things with the older children.

Congratulations, it will be lovely.

Congratulations. I have 4 boys who are all coming up for 9, 7, 3 and 4m. I won't lie, it is tough sometimes, but also lovely. I found 1 to 2 hardest, and feel like I only got into my stride with number 3. Good luck!

noteventhebestdrummer Sun 12-May-13 13:33:07

Oh 4 will be great! It's lovely for the big ones to have a tiny one to cuddle, you'll have lots of helpers.

I had 5, can you tell I'm biased?

shelley72 Sun 12-May-13 13:42:06

according to the DM last week, having 4 is far less stressful than 3 so you will be fine. congratulations!

this isnt what i want to hear given i only have 7 weeks until DC3 arrives smile

PearlyWhites Sun 12-May-13 16:47:53

I have four 14 8 2 and 9 months , the baby just slotted in like he has always been part of the family. Congrats.

Fresh01 Sun 12-May-13 18:37:00

Another one where no 4 just slotted in! DC1 was 6 just after she was born. DH is out of the house 7.15-6.15 on a good day so most childcare in the week down to me. Yes there are hard moments but there were those when I only had one DC : )

I reckon first DC was the hardest for me as I wasn't confident in what I was doing.

Could you manage a cleaner for a couple of hours a week as that does save my sanity. The washing machine noticed the arrival of no 4 so start reducing now what needs ironing a lot can be folded!!

GibberTheMonkey Sun 12-May-13 23:47:50

4 will be ok
grin

Sleepthief Tue 14-May-13 06:38:47

Am loving these replies, thank you. Especially about 4 being easier than 3 wink.

hokeycakey Tue 14-May-13 12:28:49

Hoping its easier too! I am 18 weeks with no.4 have a 5, 3 and 15 month old and not sure what to expect but excited too congratulations!!

GibberTheMonkey Tue 14-May-13 13:55:50

I was being flippant with my last comment but it is true 4 is fine
In fact in my case it was better as my perfect little last baby crushed all everything I was carrying around from having a hard time of it with number three (not her fault, I'll and prem) . Better than therapy
Mine are now 10, 8, 6 and 4. They make me broody. Wish I had a
2 and 0 to be honest

Secondme Sat 18-May-13 09:09:18

4 is fine. We have 3dc of our own and our nephew. We decided to have number 4 and as they are all very close in age (12, 9,9,8), it has been good on holidays, etc.

MissLurkalot Wed 29-May-13 19:04:24

You'll have the same age gap as me!
Dd1 (8yrs), dd2 (4yrs) both at school... and ds1 (2 yrs) and now ds4 (1 week old!)
Ds1 (2 yrs 3 months) has been very mummy's boy, but he's changed so much over the past few months.. He's matured a bit and wants to be independent. He does two days at nursery.. And he moved up to the 'big kids' room at nursery and he's changed.. Not in a bad way, but the timing couldn't have been more perfect.
You'll be fine..

hottea7 Wed 29-May-13 20:49:21

Congratulations I will have 6 under 11 in july eeek! You will be totally fine honest!

EdvardMonsterMunch Wed 29-May-13 21:00:41

We have 4 DS's with last one being an accidental conception.

There's a 5 year gap between Ds 3 and DS 4.

I panicked initially but got my head round the idea and within a month was very excited.

Ok i postponed my own freedom and have waited an extra 5 years to get my life back. (I sound awful!)

4 is in reality more difficult than 3 from a logistical aspect and as they get older from a financial aspect but i wouldn't change a thing.

DS 4 is now 13 and fairly independant, he'll be boarding from next year and i'll probably be lamenting the lack of number 5 !!

Congratulations xx

FamousFiveForever Fri 31-May-13 13:52:26

Congratulations Sleepthief!! I think you will be fine, especially your two older ones can be trusted to help a little bit in the house and with the baby. I bet they will vie for a cuddle and maybe the eldest could even give the new addition a bottle? You still have a few more months ahead of you :-)

I am in a very similar position to you, I have 3 girls, 4.5, 2.5 and 1.5 years old. The gap between the two youngest was 10months and it was terribly stressfull, I sometimes thought I'd have a breakdown. We now have an au pair who does most of the incidental stuff and I am a lot less stressed. Spilled juice? Au pair can clean it up. Crayon on the parquet flooring?au Pair, please bring the mop. Etc.

I am nervous about logistics with 4 but we've wanted them all fairly close together in ages and though I'm scared about my fourth CS, I love having a big family. Can you tell I was a deprived, sad only child ;-)

PermaShattered Fri 07-Jun-13 21:18:46

I have 4 (two girls 13 and 11; two boys 5 and 2). I now think the question of which was the hardest 'jump' is not the number but the child! My youngest was the hardest by far. Not because he was No 4 but because he was/is a 'velcro baby' (thanks, love that phrase too!).

We now know what sleep deprivation REALLY is. We now know what it REALLY means to need eyes in the back of your head, and sides too..... It's his character! He's utterly gorgeous but oh so hard work!

The logistics are fine though, no real issues. Good luck!

bigbuttons Fri 07-Jun-13 21:22:13

I have 6, 8 years apart. I did actually find the jump from 3 to 4 the hardest. But if it had been that hard I wouldn't have gone on to have 2 morewink.
Congrats btw!

Sleepthief Fri 07-Jun-13 22:25:42

Haven't been on the thread for a little while, so thanks for all your messages of congrats and reassurance. Permashattered, I'm thinking no.4 couldn't be worse that DS3, who sounds like your no.4 - cute as a button but mad as a box of frogs. Still, it will be what it will be.

Anyway, I'm starting to get my head around it (or entering into a state of even deeper denial grin. DH is excited if a little shell shocked. He's secretly pleased at this confirmation of his 'manhood', bless his little cotton socks wink

Me, I just need to get through the next few weeks of nausea and tiredness and scans before breaking the news to our wider circle... Any tips for that?

Thanks again.

BCBG Fri 07-Jun-13 22:33:09

Bit late to this thread, but I have 22, 20, 17 and 10. Wouldnt give up the last one for the world smile

Animol Sat 08-Jun-13 10:28:51

You've got nearly the same age gaps as our 4 who are now 13, 9 nearly 10, 8 and 6 ( Number 5 is due in November smile )

2 to 3 was by far the hardest - hard to say why -the big ones are getting so much more independent now - they're still a challenge of course but it's not the physical stuff of carrying and changing and dressing and getting up in the night etc - it'll be great - Congratulations!

3littlewomen Sat 08-Jun-13 10:36:38

From 2 to 3 a big leap - 3 to 4 hardly noticed!! In fact enjoyed it so much.... DC 5 due any day smile.

Congrats and enjoy!

sambageeni Thu 20-Jun-13 14:42:16

Hi Sleepthief I found out on Sunday that I'm pregnant with 4th. Very much planned but first attempt so shocked it was so quick! I have 3 dds aged 7,5 and 3. Panicking slightly as I'm soooo hormonal and stressy that I'm wondering what the hell I'm dong having another when clearly at the moment I can't cope with 3. Irrational I know as normally it's fine!

Bit worried also as I don't actually feel pregnant yet. Bit tired and sore boobs but no sickness yet. You think I would be used to this anxiety 4th time around but I guess it never leaves you!

It will be fun having 4 I'm sure. We can moan and rave together! A friend of mine said that 3-4 was hard but I'm sure everyone is different. Personally I found 0-1 the hardest step but adding the others on was ok just a bit more juggling required.

I hope you are feeling more positive about it. It will be great x

congrats Sleepthief!

For me the jump from 1 to 2 was hardest. Mine are 8, 6, 4 and 2. Once I'd worked out how to juggle the demands of another weenie one when DC1 was barely two, moving on to 3 and then 4 was just a question of degree!

For me, the babies have been easier with each one grin and even with mine quite close in age, the older ones have loved helping with each new addition....would love to have DC5 but DH he say no sad

I'm sure you'll manage wonderfully well

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