So..... apparently parents with ADHD children are "unscrupulous&q uot;. Still if it paves the way for cutting DLA then that's okay - after all we're just milking the system

(103 Posts)
DillyDaydreaming Sun 06-Feb-11 13:26:58

here

What a pile of shite.

My son received his ADHD diagnosis alongside one of ASD. I didn't SEEK the diagnosis and never even considered it until the paediatrician brought it up. The paediatrician based that opinion on extensive observations and reports of my DS - it certainly was not "just a tick box" affair. Even then it was not conformed for several months for further observations and assessments.

And if the head teacher quoted is SO sure it's just a parent milking the system why is she aiding a positive diagnosis by ticking her "tick boxes" in a positive way>

Stupid bloody woman - just hope she never gets withing 100 feet of MY son because with teachers like that he needs NO enemies. In fact she might wish to meet my son - he is NOT disruptive/bouncing off the walls. Instead he is much quieter and struggles to maintain focus and attention enough to understand the curriculum without visual aids and support. Nor is he on any medication.

What a shite report and what a shite head teacher. We are not all milking the system - as a mother and as a health professional I can tell you there are many more of us who don't seek a diagnosis because we don't suspect ADHD until it is suggested.

Still if it makes people feel more friendly to the idea of cutting DLA I assume that's okay with Shiney Dave and his pals in power.

angryangryangry

And fwiw - all assessments of my DS suggest he will do well in life - he will work (just as I do), pay taxes (just as I do) but hey - lets stuff ALL parents doing their best - shuffle them all into the "shit parents" pile and cut off all support - that'll learn em!

Lougle Tue 01-May-12 23:22:49

"I find this subject hard I dont understand how these families get away scot free... why do these kids deserve more than any other and why can these parents not work termtime as others have to."

That is incredibly short-sighted, loving. These children don't 'struggle with life as much as your DS does.' IF a parent gets carer's allowance (a whole £58 per week) then their child has been awarded at least mid-rate care component of DLA. This means that the child must:

"...satisfy one of the following conditions:

need frequent attention throughout the day in connection with your bodily functions.
need continual supervision throughout the day to avoid substantial danger to you or others.
need prolonged or repeated attention at night in connection with your bodily functions.
need another person to be awake at night for a prolonged period or at frequent intervals to watch over you in order to avoid substantial danger to you or others.

For the disability test for the highest rate DLA care component you must satisfy either of the following:

have one of the day needs and one of the night needs shown in the middle rate conditions.
you are terminally ill.

Children must satisfy one of the above tests but, in addition, their care, supervision or watching-over needs must also be greater than those of a child of the same age who is in normal physical and mental health."

The 'test' for children is more stringent than for adults.

DD1 is 6.4. I can't leave her unattended. At all. Or rather, I can, but if I do then there will be consequences. Even 5 minutes to go and brush my teeth this morning resulted in a whole bottle of washing up liquid being emptied into the sink because she 'wanted to make bubbles'.

What job do you think I could get? I have to be at home until 8.40 am because DD1's school transport picks her up from the house. I have to be home by 3.10pm because DD1's school transport drops her off shortly after. I have to be available to take her to the paediatrician, orthotics, visits from the learning disabilities nurse, social worker, etc. She has been ill on and off since January. No rhyme or reason, but ok for a week or two, then ill, then another virus, etc.

Despite DD1 being a danger to herself and her sisters when she can't cope with the busyness of home life, and us getting a care package from SS, DH has had to take a part-time job. Because, during term time, we get 4 hours SS support, 6 hours KIDS and 3 hours Homestart each week. Except that KIDS are only able to offer 3 hours now, because their funding is cut.

The trouble is, that KIDS all but disappears in the holidays, so we suddenly have a very frustrated little girl, who can't understand why her routine has been changed, and we have her home for an extra 35 hours per week, yet our care package drops to 7 hours per week (the 4 hours SS support and the 3 hours Homestart).

So, DH had to take a job that pays under £11k pa., but allows him to compres his hours in the holiday to help look after DD1.

Lougle Tue 01-May-12 23:25:33

"tell me this if you had a birthday party and invited 15 children out of the 15, 4 of them had ADHD would you then give those children extra in their goody bags and an extra prize for the part games? im guessing the answer is no as you should treat all children equilly."

No, but you'd find that if you didn't make accomodations for those children, they may not cope with the party. DD1, for the first time ever made it through an entire birthday party this week. Every other birthday party I have ever taken her to has ended in hysteria and us leaving early. This was her first successful one. Not in small part due to the fact that the birthday girl was a school friend (special school) and the party was geared to be accessible for children with SN.

perceptionreality Tue 01-May-12 23:33:12

lovingbutfrustrated, why have you dredged up this old thread? Trying to cause trouble?

Sadly there will always be ignornant people who believe you can claim DLA for nothing. Those of us who filled the forms in and had to get statements from HC professionals know otherwise.

perceptionreality Tue 01-May-12 23:34:38

Lougle, people who type stuff like this

"tell me this if you had a birthday party and invited 15 children out of the 15, 4 of them had ADHD would you then give those children extra in their goody bags and an extra prize for the part games? im guessing the answer is no as you should treat all children equilly."

are really not worth engaging with.

cory Wed 02-May-12 18:02:47

"tell me this if you had a birthday party and invited 15 children out of the 15, 4 of them had ADHD would you then give those children extra in their goody bags and an extra prize for the part games? im guessing the answer is no as you should treat all children equilly."

and if you took 15 children out for a picnic and 4 of them had amputated legs, would you tell them all they had to walk up the hill, because everybody should be treated the same?

Lougle Wed 02-May-12 19:44:13

hmm Cory

Surely you would make them carry the picnic baskets because they get too many perks and the 11 other poor sausages don't get a look in hmm

AmberLeaf Wed 02-May-12 19:58:12

I think not all but most have found this loopwhole which pays carers if there is a disabled child and so they are jumping on it and recieveing 250 in tax credits per month extra and 50 per week as a carer thats 450 per child. Discusting why does that child deserve more than my child when he struggles with life just as much as others who are going through a difficult time?

Is your child disabled? how does he struggle with life just as much as others who are going through a difficult time [what exactly does that mean]

thekidsrule Wed 02-May-12 23:02:20

there are parents that claim fraudently im afraid,it happens,trouble is these kids dont stand a chance in life because of their parents,ive seen it a couple of times myself,i know the process isnt easy bt these kids often show "traits" that is not through a medical condition but crap parenting,

how are the medical people suppose to react,to them the child may well have ADHD the background of these poor kids will not be scrutanised,regarding parenting, lifestyle housing,etc etc,nobody in a proffesional capacity is gonna turn round and say they may be culpable for their childs behaviour are they

thats how its obtained and the people that are blagging it get CAB/social worker etc to do form filling

BUT

i really do believe it exsists in children and the ones that genuinley have this condition and their familys doneed the extra support,not just benefits but the whole social structure from local councils offering respite to groups etc for both the child and the family

the sad case is that those that have genuine need have to fight tooth and nail for their DC's,the dc's suffer the family suffer (i would say that there must be a high % of seperations) due to stress depression,the list is endless

so yes it goes on,but i believe it does exist,i really hate the fact that the genuine have to fight so hard for even basic help

life must seem pretty tough alot of the time to those that cope with these pressures

AmberLeaf Wed 02-May-12 23:16:35

How comes the genuine cases have to fight tooth and nail yet according to you the fakers get it all on a plate so easily?

Its ok dont answer I know already...its because you're talking crap

NiceHamione Wed 02-May-12 23:27:45

There clearly are parents who try to defraud the system, I have dealt with them myself but as others have said they tend not to get dla. Fraud rates with dla are very low .

thekidsrule Wed 02-May-12 23:35:12

really,you obviously dont know people that play the system then,get real

vent your anger that the people that do,oh sorry that dosent happen in your world does it,well it does mine

its not hard, the genuine get a hard time because they do it by the book,some dont have much experience of the benefit system, play the condition down,dont understand the language needed for a DLA claim so yes their at a disadvantage,for some this will be the first benefit theyve ever claimed,but they learn and learn who can help them,but after a real education regarding the DLA process

but yeah another load of crap i suppose

AmberLeaf Wed 02-May-12 23:44:58

Yep.

"There was a report the other day about how trials have showed changing the food the kids eat eliminated ADHD in a lot of cases"

The brain of a person with ADHD is different, this cannot be denied because it shows upon scans. Whilst chemicals can help to change how the brain works, they certainly could not completely remove a condition.

Some of the behaviour may be modified by changing diet, but it cannot be cured. This usually applies tofoods with additives and colourings.

Most parents don't need to be told this. Having a child that can have as little as four hours sleep, is hard going and if it was as easy as changing diet, then it would be erradicated because most parents try this, first.

Also if it was that easy, there would be no adults with ADHD, it is often forgotten that this doesn't go away at 16, just because the GP signs the patient off, but they are yet to young to be picked up by adult services.

NiceHamione Thu 03-May-12 07:22:09

The kidsrule I am not venting my anger and I did point out that when people try to play the system IME they do not get away with it, although there is a perception that they do.

thekidsrule Thu 03-May-12 09:04:59

nice,sorry the comment i made was at amber not you

apologies

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 03-May-12 09:12:09

Can't believe someone has dredged up this thread just to start a bunfight.

DLA is not for kids struggling the same as other kids just going through a difficult time.

My DD gets it and she can't speak or feed or dress herself and is still in nappies at 5.5. Hardly the same as being a bit fed up at school.

Loving, you should be ashamed to post such tripe.

perceptionreality Thu 03-May-12 10:23:49

"there are parents that claim fraudently im afraid,it happens,trouble is these kids dont stand a chance in life because of their parents,ive seen it a couple of times myself,i know the process isnt easy bt these kids often show "traits" that is not through a medical condition but crap parenting,

how are the medical people suppose to react,to them the child may well have ADHD the background of these poor kids will not be scrutanised,regarding parenting, lifestyle housing,etc etc,nobody in a proffesional capacity is gonna turn round and say they may be culpable for their childs behaviour are they

thats how its obtained and the people that are blagging it get CAB/social worker etc to do form filling"
____________________________________

This is absolute bolleaux. The DWP themselves have said that DLA fraud is almost non-existent.

Furthermore, HCPs giving a child a diagnosis because they don't want to tell the parent they are not parenting properly?? (laughs) You clearly have no idea how difficult it is to get a diagnosis in writing from a HCP even when the diagnosis is obvious.

People like you are the reason why children with genuine difficulties are instead considered to be 'naughty'.

perceptionreality Thu 03-May-12 10:34:32

Yes loving, perhaps you would like to swap with me and try to cope with a 10 year old who destroys things, spends her day trying to escape out of locked windows and doors, can't talk (much) and runs in front of cars. Oh, and who also can't dress herself, feed herself and is up all night.

After all she's got the same problems as your child right?

parents who have children like this cannot easily work full time or at all. And our children will never be able to work as adults did you ever think of that?

(wonders why I let myself be drawn into this)

Triggles Thu 03-May-12 19:23:38

I'm going to respond to the only bit of intelligence in the thread at all and say this....

Party bags are shite anyway. Why give them out at all? hmm grin

ouryve Thu 03-May-12 19:36:30

Oh, loving, how sweet of you to resurrect a year old thread so say how unfair on your poor children it is that kids with disabilities and their families have life soooo much easier because they get so much for free.

Term time job? I went out for lunch with my parents, who I only get to see every few months, on Monday and school were frantically trying to contact me because DS1 had gone into a violent rage over a maths book. No, the money he gets for having ASD and ADHD haven't cured him or made him any less miserable but, even with another child in receipt of DLA, plus carers' allowance, my income is far smaller than when I had a full time term time professional job which I couldn't go back to. It replaces a lot of broken stuff, though.

perceptionreality Thu 03-May-12 20:57:13

Until seeing the recent comments on this thread, I had no idea that there are people who are actually jealous of families who have children with special needs because they get extra financial support from the state. Children who will never in a million years be able to live the lives that NT people can.........

StarshitTerrorise Thu 03-May-12 21:01:03

Why has this zombie been raised now?

StarshitTerrorise Thu 03-May-12 21:09:22

'how are the medical people suppose to react,to them the child may well have ADHD the background of these poor kids will not be scrutanised,regarding parenting, lifestyle housing,etc etc,nobody in a proffesional capacity is gonna turn round and say they may be culpable for their childs behaviour are they

thats how its obtained and the people that are blagging it get CAB/social worker etc to do form filling'

You clearly know nothing of the diagnostic process. The FIRST thing that is scrutinised in often barbaric ways is the parenting and environmental aspects. Parents are put through hell and sent on training etc. it is only when nothing seems to work that, years later, with swarms of now involved different professionals who have got to know the family and parents, can reports be written that eventually lead to a medical Dx.

God help the kids with ADHD AND crap parents!

StarshitTerrorise Thu 03-May-12 21:14:16

And the reason parents in genuine need have to fight tooth and nail is because of ignorant people like you, not because a number of any significance manage fraud.

Triggles Thu 03-May-12 21:29:26

Star I reported this earlier tonight. I see point in the person renewing this thread other than trolling.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now