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Home ed

Home educating parents, how are you perceived in your community?

46 replies

HomeEd · 18/12/2006 17:30

I'm intrigued as I think we are quite lucky, in that we have had no negative responses at all - to date!
I have other home educating friends who have had all sorts of awful comments made to them, or who often hear the popular misconceptions of non-home educating people eg: your child will be unable to socialise; is home educating legal? etc.
One family has been stopped and intimidated by a social worker and two policemen on a truancy sweep.
I just wondered what other home educating families have experienced?

OP posts:
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whatwouldjesusdo · 18/12/2006 17:37

In Germany, it is illegal, so they are criminals. Or it is assumed that you are a religious weirdo. It is also assumed that the children aren't getting a proper education.

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HomeEd · 18/12/2006 17:42

Yes, I know home education is illegal in Germany.
I'm hoping for responses from parents who are home educating their children in countries where it isn't illegal.

OP posts:
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whatwouldjesusdo · 18/12/2006 17:50

these are the responses we got when taking our home educated children there. Worst in Europe, perhaps.

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KateF · 18/12/2006 17:51

Well, we are starting to home ed and I've been surprised at how positive most people have been. Quite a few parents saying they wish they could do it too. Only one negative response and she is a teacher so I suppose I should have expected it!

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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 18/12/2006 17:58

well thus far mostly positive. people are usually quite polite, I find, generally. The worst I have had is an "oh...I see..."

I am suprised at how many teachers are fervently in favour of home education... my mum turned me on to it, she is a very well regarded teacher, has won awards and all sorts. There are loads of teachers HEing, its quite interesting...

But also most of the "oh" responses are from teachers.

wwjd-am . you don't live there do you?

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SueBaroo · 19/12/2006 09:59

we are religious wierdos, so that works out very well if we're asked

Seriously, the only negative comments we get are from our BIL and SIL who actually seem to think we should put our children in school so we can evangelize better
Don't seem to get that we might actually consider education as something that focuses on our kids.. duh...

My best friend is a teacher, and she thinks it's a fab idea - most teachers seem to be positive about it because it usually involves parents who are very interested in their childrens education, and teachers always like that!

I think maybe the people in our street haven't cottoned on that our kids don't go to school yet, but I suppose it'll come up as they get older.

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sorkycake · 19/12/2006 11:29

Heehee I don't care 2 hoots what they think

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Heartmum2Jamie · 19/12/2006 11:32

We have only just started out on our HE journey, but already I have come across the comments of "I can see why you are doing it, but I still disagree with what you are doing" and this is from my MIL & best friend. Naturally, I am worried that if this is what those supposedly closest to me think, what others will think. What irks me most is that they both say that they aren't worried about my boys from an acedemic point of view, but socially. Why can't people get it into their heads that HE children will be more social adept than their peers?

The most positive response came from my grandparents, who think the idea is wonderful, to want to spend the time with my children. Also the head mistress of ds1's school & his teacher were quite supportive after the initial shock.

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Heartmum2Jamie · 19/12/2006 11:33

I guess it is a good thing that I don't tell people that I am still breastfeeding my 2.5 yr old ds2 or they would think I was a freak or something

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KateF · 19/12/2006 12:45

I'm still breastfeeding a 2.4 year old as well. Do you think there's a link????

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sorkycake · 19/12/2006 14:28

freaks

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Saturn74 · 19/12/2006 16:14

Our family are all supportive, as are our friends. You only have to look at our children to know that home education is so much better for them educationally, socially, mentally - everything!
Some of the parents whose children still attend the school we removed our children from are a bit snidey apparently, but none have ever said anything to our face - which says a lot about the school! And if they did, I would find it most amusing.
From meeting other HE families, I think the parents who home educate from the very beginning notice a change in people once their children reach school age - they get a lot of questions as to why the child isn't in school etc. But usually this is just out of genuine interest.
My children love telling people that they are home educated, and always giggle if someone asks "is that legal?".

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Astrophe · 21/12/2006 00:21

How on earth do you HE when you have a baby as well? I'm interested in HE my two (2.5, 9 months currently), but can't see how I would manage as we would like to have more kids. And do you all live in the country in big houses?

My family are not thrilled at the idea, but I know they would be supportive in the end. People I've spoken to always mention the 'social' aspect too, seem to think we will lock our children up or something.

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3Ddonut · 21/12/2006 00:29

I would LOVE to HE, but we always said that we would give our kids the choice and they wanted to go to school my Dad was very against it and said, it's a big mistake.... also the most suprising and negative comment was that people couldn't understand why we couldn't wait to 'get rid of the kids'?!!!! we are a close family and just work school into it now!

I would also like to know how you cope with children of different ages, when we initially thought of it, we only had two, 18 months apart but now we have a baby as well and there's 4 years between the eldest and the youngest and the middle one is a real handful and I think would be disruptive to the others, he's interested but needs continous stimulation.

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3Ddonut · 21/12/2006 00:29

Also, does anyone work and HE? I would have to work, but work nights so I think it's still do-able.

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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 21/12/2006 07:47

3D

yes, re working. its not uncommon, IMO.

I don't work now but do study. right now the OU sufficies for basic degree but as the kids get older I am keen to do a course that will require uni attendance (dietics, if anyone is interested) and if I do this will then probably have an au pair or similar to cover uni hours, then dp and I will "educate" in the other hours. And christ knows when I will study but...maybe they will be very interested in dietics...

I think the key is that, even if you want to provide a curriculum of sorts, it doesn't have to be delivered 9-3.30 M-F, you have some flexibility.

Some HErs use childminders, i know. There is actually a woman on muddlepuddle who has a list of HR friendly childminders, if this helps.

I think its a case of "where there's a will there's a way" tbh.

um-just a thought, and ignore me if you want but-re the constant stimulation. It is quite important to me that my kids DO spend some time bored, but while also being free to do what they need to do to stop themselves being bored. I will not entertain them every minute of the day, I think they need to learn to entertain themselves. thats actually a big part of my reason for heing esp early years-to give them space to learn and decide to entertain themselves...

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SueBaroo · 21/12/2006 08:24

Astrophe, we do it with a baby and I've got another one on the way, and I'm in a wheelchair most of the time.
Totally agree with HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas - where there's a will there's a way. We really wanted to HE, so we do. Can't live a 'normal' life, but that's always going to be tricky for us with three and one on the way
Oh, and we live in a three bedroom 1970's semi in the midlands suburbs. Though if anyone has a nice big house in the country they want to give us, I'm all ears. Oh, and a lifetime supply of chocolate too, please.

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Astrophe · 21/12/2006 08:31

ha, no spare big houses here sorry Hopefully by the time we HE (if we do)we will be in Australia with a bigger house than we have here in our teeny midlands suburban shoe box!

A question for everyone - what are you main reasons for HE?

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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 21/12/2006 08:41

oh didnt see your post astrophe. rofl at big house in country. i would actually say HErs tend to be a. more unposh b. skinter and c. have bigger families than non HErs. Despite sterotype of one child sat at a slate in a draughty manor while mummy paints and daddy writes Books.

seriously if the lots of kids is really putting you off, take a look at some HE blogs! the muddle puddle one is a good start. There really is a very good percentage of HErs with 4 kids.

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Runnerbean · 21/12/2006 08:43

Fillyjonk,

Talking about 'being bored', earlier this week my dd had a 'schoolie' friend round to play. My dd's were happily making xmas decs but she said she was 'bored'.
I suggested playing shops with their dolls, again 10 mins later she said, "I'm bored".
So we made biscuits, this held her attention all of 15 mins!

I was relieved when she went home! It was exhausting!
I've never heard my dds say they were bored!

In contrast a HE friend came to play yesterday and I hardly knew she was there, they amused themselves happily all afternoon!

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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 21/12/2006 08:44

i am unhappy with the way school divies up life into "learning" and "not learning"

am especially concerned about science teaching

i think kids need the opportunity to learn for themselves and to retain the ability to self-motivate

etc

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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 21/12/2006 08:47

lol rb

have never heard a HE'd kid say they are bored actually, come to think of it

even those who are not marvellous at entertaining themselves are still very good at identifying what they want others to do to entertain them, if that makes sense. which is fine, really, some kids are more social than others. its just when they expect their day scheduled that it worries me a little. (for their parents as much as the kids, really )

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LazycowLyinginaManger · 21/12/2006 09:00

I am very interested in HE so it is good to read about experiencs but tbh I know quite a few children who are school educated (my niece and nephew for instance) who I have NEVER and I mean NEVER heard say they are bored. And that has included times when they have spent up to 5 weeks at a time in the sole company of their loving but very elderly grandparents and where tbh I'd have been bored . Even now as teenagers of 15 and 13 they never say they are bored.

I think some children genuinely are better at entertaining themselves than others, though I agree that if you have the 'I need constant outside stimulation' sort - HE'ing may help them deal with this.

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danceswithreindeer · 21/12/2006 09:03

Hi HE gurus!
I am a teacher and I really admire your commitment to your children and their education. I am neither for or against HE, each to their own I say! HOWEVER (and you knew there was one coming )... I think comments like:'Why can't people get it into their heads that HE children will be more social adept than their peers?' really gets the backs up of people who send their children to school, it's a sort of reverse snobbery that then implies that school educated children are getting a raw deal and then so goes the argument round and round.
I also think that (shock horror) all children are different. My children (not school age yet) are very good at entertaining themselves as is my little godson who is the same age as my dd and an only child however I have friends whose children just cannot entertain themselves. Nothing to do with HE or school. Anyway that's it. Honestly I do admire those who chose to HE but some of the comments on here are exactly the reason the HE v school argument will keep going.

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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 21/12/2006 09:21

sorry, dwr, but who said that here?

a lot of us feel that our kids are better socially than they would be if they had been in school. I am pretty sure my kids are. I am not going to comment on other peoples kids. BUT bear in mind this is a reaction to the constant "despite over 30 years of reasearch showing that HE kids are as, or better, adjusted than schooled kids, your kid WILL be an asocial weirdo if they don't go to school at 3" comments.

ditto boredom. I'm sure that there are a lot of unbored school kids out there and I think thats great. What I do know is that HE kids, IMO, do not tend to say they are bored. Thats based on a sample of quite a lot of HE kids, at least 30 of my aquaintance.

what I will say is that the vast majority of HErs have experience (their own) of school, and also of HEing (through their kids). A LOT of HErs are teachers also, and quite a few have either had their kids in school before pulling them out, or have some kids in school and some not. So these statements are usually pretty informed. They might or might not be accurate-thats open to debate-but they are based on quite a lot of experience. Wheras, sorry, but most people with kids in school have little experience of HEing and how it can be done differently (it can also be royally ballsed up imo but thats another matter ).

My kids seem to be doing fine without school.

If it aint broke, why fix it?

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