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Guest post: 'It's time we rebelled against the way fitness is sold to us'

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MumsnetGuestPosts · 29/01/2015 13:17

When I was at primary school, I wasn't just an unsporty child: I was positively anti-sporty. One of my earliest memories is of being instructed to run to a wall on the other side of the football pitch and back at breaktime. By the time I turned round for the return leg, all my classmates were happily tucking into their Marmite sandwiches while sniggering at my snail-like speed. Things were even worse on the netball field, where the A-list girls simply refused to throw the ball to me, even when I was standing directly underneath the goal.

As a result, I had always associated sport with hot-faced humiliation and avoided any sort of activity for over 20 years, faking a case of athlete's foot for five years to avoid swimming and sneaking to the back of the queue in rounders so I wouldn't even have to trot a few steps.

Adverts extolling exercise didn't help either - the proud owner of a bottom that always looks big in everything, I simply couldn't identify with the lithe whippets who were supposed to be my role models. It was almost as if sporty types had membership to an exclusive club with a 'curvy types need not apply' policy. When was the last time you saw a plus-size fit kit?

Fast forward to 2015, however, and it's an entirely different story. Having run 67 marathons so far, I'm an aspiring member of the 100 Marathon Club and my goal is to do at least another 15 this year in addition to a 100-mile walk in Holland. So what changed? What turned me into a marathon convert after decades of extreme exercise avoidance?

Age definitely had something to do with it. Firstly, I didn't want to spend my thirties feeling as unhealthy as I did in my twenties. And secondly, I cared a lot less about what others thought. In my younger days I'd have been mortified to learn that I'd come last (yes, really, last!) in no fewer than five marathons. In my forties I'm thrilled that I've plucked up the courage to attempt them at all.

Older and wiser, I no longer judge myself against other people's criteria for what being 'sporty' involves. 'Talented, athletic and competitive' - I'm none of these things. What I am now is 'active', a word that to me implies that I'm doing my own sweet thing to keep moving, for my own sweet reasons, and I don't care how 'well' I'm doing it. Instead of being mortified that I don't look like a runner, I take great delight in proving that running isn't only for those who look fabulous in Lycra.

Watching Sport England's - which aims to 'inspire women to wiggle, jiggle, move and prove that judgement is a barrier that can be overcome' - I was impressed by how well the filmmakers captured what being active is all about. Yes, the ad says, there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be competitive, but there's also room for the rest of us - the ones with wobbly bits, who find being competitive stressful and demotivating. Stop judging yourselves, urges the ad, forget about whether you're sporty or not and just get moving.

I can vouch first-hand for the benefits of adopting this philosophy. Whenever I look at my burgeoning medal collection I'm reminded that being active gives me the greatest sense of achievement I've ever known - which is heightened because, well, I'm 'bad' at running, and each and every medal has been so hard won. They are mementoes of success measured in my own terms: in every race it's not about the time I've done, but the fun time I've had; not about the people I've beaten, but the friends I've made.

This new sense of self-belief has benefited innumerable other areas of my life: I ditched my career as an editor, which wasn't really going anywhere, and retrained as a clinical hypnotherapist; I wrote the books I'd always dreamed of writing; I reinvented myself as The World's Slowest Marathon Correspondent and now travel the world reporting on marathons for three running publications.

So perhaps us 'unsporty' types should ignore the 'sporty' label entirely and adopted a new one - 'active' - instead. It's time we rebelled against the way fitness is sold to us - as a glamorous and aspirational lifestyle choice reserved for the firm of thigh and fleet of foot. Only once we shatter the stereotype of what a fit person looks and acts like will we be able to realise our true potential.

Lisa is the co-author of Running Made Easy. Find out more here.

OP posts:
26Point2Miles · 29/01/2015 13:28

Fully agree!

But I've found its the groups of people who are non sporty who have spurred me on anyway

Here on mumsnet, nearly 3 years ago, I joined the c25k programme ( as my humiliating school sports record still haunted me and I felt I wanted to put it to rest)

Also on mumsnet I joined the biwi low carb threads

Lost 5 stone and competed c25k! Felt able to join a women only outdoor bootcamp and running club and was able to go out to exercise IN daylight and IN Lycra! Joined an online running mummies forum as well and London marathon here I come!

Thanks mumsnet! #thisMNerCan

( best bit is seeing how I've inspired my 20 year old daughter, I get her 'mapmyrun' notifications to say she's run.... She's away at uni but she's taken it up too)

26Point2Miles · 29/01/2015 13:30

Funnily enough one of our netball 'bullies' was called Lisa Jackson lol

Well done on your marathons, I'm in awe!

Aberchips · 29/01/2015 14:46

I'm totally with you on this one. I spent most of my school years avoiding sport & any kind of exercise as I was labelled as "unsporty" very early on.
I've recently discovered Zumba which I really enjoy & gives me an opportunity to have a laugh & a dance whilst getting fit with my mates once a week.
I've also started running thanks to an iphone app & am finding that it is something I can do & enjoy after years of trying to "like" running.
I was never encouraged at school to find sport enjoyable or find a sport that sutied me - the teachers just left me to my own devices as I wasn't a star in a team or a fantastic 800m runner.

For me now exercise is about feeling fit,healthy and de-stressing after a long day at work or with the kids. I always remeber somewhere a comment I read - every professional was a beginner once. So no matter how daft I may sometimes look puffing up a hill at 2 mph I remember that even marathon runners had to start somewhere!

ALittleFaith · 29/01/2015 15:16

I agree too. I'm uncoordinated and since most sports at school are ball games I struggled. I tried the gym but never stuck it. 3 years ago I decided to enter a 10k. I did c25k and gradually realised that running was the activity for me. In October 2014, I finished my first half marathon. I was dead last. However loads of people dropped out along the way and the time was pretty good for me! I'm incredibly proud of that achievement and I'm currently working on my pace for future races.

I tell anyone who gives me the Hmm face about losing weight (which I am) and getting fit that it's not always about high impact exercise, it's just finding an activity that you enjoy!

imustbepatient · 29/01/2015 15:18

Great post thanks, I really enjoyed reading it. Congratulations on all your marathons! I'm another who for a long time swore I was not a runner, but have now managed two half marathons.

I'm in the midst of trying to lose all the baby weight (from my first child...) and have started BIWI's boot camp too. Running seems harder for me at the moment, but once I lose the first chunk of weight I plan to get back into it again, at my previous plodding, slow and steady wins the race type pace.

Meantime I have re-discovered my love of Body Pump classes and found Zumba too. Classes seem to be the thing I love and enjoy, so I'm really glad I've finally worked out what is the best way for me to keep active.

ponygirlcurtis · 29/01/2015 15:29

I relate to this a lot. As a child I was active - dance lessons twice a week, gymnastics, lots of riding my bike and playing outside, doing gym and various sports clubs like badminton at school etc. But I was always still chubby.

Then high school hit and I stopped going to dance lessons and PE became a thing of nightmares rather than something to be enjoyed - the embarrassment of having to change in amongst all the other girls (most of whom seemed skinny and pretty and comfortable with their bodies when I wasn't, which made me even more embarrassed), and the embarrassment of doing PE with the boys and being super super conscious of both my weight and the size of my boobs. Add to that the embarrassment of the PE kit - the shorts were like nappy covers (see pic - just like that!) and if you had your period everyone could see your pad Blush. Horrific for a shy self-conscious teenager. Killed activeness stone dead for me. Sad I remember faking an ankle injury to get out of physics once as we were doing a practical lesson running up and down stairs and I was mortified at the thought of my body jiggling in front of everyone. I still associate exercise with crushing embarrassment, although have done some reclaiming in my adult years - and all of it along the lines of 'bugger what anyone else thinks'. I agree that we need to change the thinking on 'fitness' - doing that in schools, where the rot often starts (often due to some of the issues I experienced) would be a good idea.

Guest post: 'It's time we rebelled against the way fitness is sold to us'
HesterShaw · 29/01/2015 16:12

You can't be that "bad" at running if you have done all those marathons! Bloody good for you - I mean that. You must be very fit and strong. I was always one of the sporty ones at school and these days I am struggling to get to 5K after not having not exercised for a long time. I think everything changes as we hit our 30s and 40s.

EauRouge · 29/01/2015 16:51

Yes, I agree. I started running a couple of years ago and discovered I loved it (despite running being a punishment at school). But then last spring I pushed myself too hard and ended up injuring myself. I'm still suffering on and off so I've hardly been able to run since then. I'm gutted and really missing it. I wish I'd just enjoyed it instead of constantly chasing PBs.

Running should be for health and enjoyment first. Everything else is just a bonus.

JulietMcG · 29/01/2015 17:07

Lisa, your wonderful book was the first running book I owned. It gave me the confidence to give running a try and look where it's got me! New friends, work, travel and fun. It's so true that exercise should be for everyone. It's not just about weight loss or weight control. It's about being healthy and that includes both mental and physical health. Carry on your hard work inspiring others you are making a difference x

TheSkinnyProject · 29/01/2015 17:21

I really love your attitude. Totally agree that fitness is for everyone. I only discovered this in my 40 s after dh became very ill.

Now I run for fun and thoroughly enjoy it. Not the fastest but I too have a nicely expanding collection of medals.

rookiemere · 29/01/2015 17:43

I totally agree. I was second last to be picked for all team sports ( I was the chubby one, my friend the skinny bookish one was last) and I still vividly remember my PE teacher at the time grimly trying to teach me how to shot put as I think she thought that as I was fat I might have the build for it.

I started running in my 20s, first a 5k, then a 10k, then when I hit my 30s a half marathon. I still run in my 40s and go to metafit, and ski, and do weights at the gym. I do them all badly and I'm still a bit chubby, but not as much as I would be if I didn't do them.

I get twitchy if I can't exercise for a few days in a row, it keeps me grounded.

marshmallowpies · 29/01/2015 17:45

I had an equally frustrating experience with sports at school - bad enough always being picked last for rounders by my classmates, but the teachers discriminated too.

I was tall for my age at 10-11 and practised goal shooting a lot at home - I had a basketball hoop in the back garden - but the teacher always picked her class favourites to be Goal Shooter and Attack and I was always Goal Keeper who just had to stand there with my arms in the air. Just once I would have liked the chance to show I could actually score goals!

It really put me off team games and when I was older I just did solitary sport - cycling, swimming or aerobics. I still swim but am too scared of traffic to cycle where I live in London. I hope today's PE teachers are more sensitive than mine were.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 29/01/2015 19:06

My experience of sport at school in the 70s was the two male gym teachers sitting at the back of the sports hall and perving at all the girls and laughing at the likes of me with no hand-eye coordination.

I now love to walk everywhere, and swim five times a week.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 29/01/2015 19:24

Another vote for the running made easy book - it was my first introduction into running as an adult. Might go buy myself another copy now

BiscuitsAreMyDownfall · 29/01/2015 20:05

I look back at school PE and wish that I had the guts to be on the school teams as that is what I half fancy now. Especially since the this girl can advert and a piece on Sky Sports News today about it. However, at 36 and not played since in PE at school (I never joined the school teams as I didn't like the bully girls who did play) Ive always put it off and now I feel its too late for Netball or any other team sport (I fancy other things too such as American Football or Roller Derby)

However I gave another go at running 3 years ago (it was my 3rd/4th attempt at taking it up) and this time I stuck to it by C25K and joining a running club. I regularly do Parkrun and completed a Half Marathon last year. 10K is my favourite distance though. I love it. I also love going to the gym and doing the classes. Kettlebells and Metafit are my favourites.

At a size 14/16 with a BMI of 27 and a double chin I certainly do not look like an athlete or a fitness freak, but I can feel low and stressed if I haven't had my exercise fix for a few days. Also in October when I had a check up the nurse exclaimed how fit I must be due to my resting heart rate.

StupidFlanders · 29/01/2015 20:57

I also liked this post and agree with a poster above that the communal change room discouraged me from participating in school sports, and although I wasn't overweight, I was by the end of school.
I thought of every excuse possible to avoid wearing swimwear or getting changed in front of people and am actually nervous for my own dcs!

I am now an active adult with a "good" body but won't swim or change around people....

catsofa · 29/01/2015 21:02

Quite right! I love the "This girl can" adverts, although I do wish they said "This woman can"!

I keep active by cycling everywhere, and always think it's such a shame that cycling is promoted as a sport so much rather than as a means of transport. My exercise saves me time and money, rather than costing any, and really is part of my lifestyle, not some add-on leisure thing that I have to do to compensate for sitting still all day.

VoyageOfDad · 29/01/2015 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CMOTDibbler · 29/01/2015 21:25

I was rubbish at sport at school. I spent till I was 40 thinking that I couldn't run, and that sport wasn't for me.

Then I did C25k and discovered I could. Not spectacularly fast by any means, but I can, and did some half marathons. Then I thought I'd cycle, and that was OK, and then I sorted swimming freestyle, and so doing some triathlons seemed like a good idea.

So at 42, and having lost the use of an arm, I'm fitter than I've ever been. And MN has been there for me all the way Smile

Laska42 · 29/01/2015 21:35

sorry this is going to be negative, but its how i feel..

Even from a young kid at primary I was the archetypal 'last to be picked' fat useless cackhanded one at school and that put me off any competitive games at about aged 7 as it was just totally humiliating. I never played team games at senior unless forced, ( would rather take the detention and did ) . Im in my 50s now

so I hate sport, ive not done any for most of my life and I will never do it again. ..

I have given it a go though.. and now The only thing I do like is hill walking and I do that a lot and happily go out all day for miles and miles (esp if there is a pub lunch on the way!) , and i also love sailing (which I am actually very good at) , but cannot afford to do sadly . Did try horses a few times also , but although i quite liked that ..me and them just didnt get on! well, they kept going one way and me another! (ouch).

I am actually also a good swimmer , but didnt learn until an adult ( more humiliation at school) but i needed to to sail.. but i cant see the point of swimming in pools ..

I didnt used to have a car , when i lived in a town, and cycled everywhere because i had to , but although I will get out my bike these days if forced to by DH, its not a pleasure (it never was!) and I hate having to walk up hills... but I do a lot of heavy garden work as we grow a lot of stuff .. im actually a very outdoors person.

But sport.. I just dont get the concept even..

I think its sad that sport is always around competition and goals and point scoring, and always having to do better . I also hate the tribalism around sport and teams.. the being 'in' or being 'out' or being one thing or another and thats why me and it parted company a long time ago .I wont even watch it on TV

The one thing though is that , I come from a family of non-participators and we all seem to live long, active and healthy lives.. (im also a healthy weight and strong) .

so Yes ,sport is (possibly) great if you like it (or not given its intrinsic exclusions) , but there are plenty of other ways to keep fit and active..

catsofa · 29/01/2015 23:06

Re: cycling in London, the thing is it's very often much quicker to get anywhere by bike than it is by (really expensive) bus or train in London, and drivers there are getting much more used to seeing cyclists now, so it's becoming more pleasant to use the roads on a bike.

If you're not a confident cyclist then it probably looks scary, but if you cycle with confidence and don't hug the kerb it's a pretty good place for it, and of course it's very flat so faster and not nearly as much physical effort as it is in hilly places.

The benefits of the additional exercise statistically outweigh the negative effects of the air pollution and any extra risk of a traffic accident, by quite a long way I believe.

claraschu · 30/01/2015 08:22

Laska, I completely agree about team sports. I always used to think: "If sports are so good for building character, why is it that the most obnoxious kids are on all the sports teams?"

I also agree that cycling in cities is fun and a great way to get around.

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senua · 30/01/2015 09:31

I really agree about the negativity of competition. Years ago I used to play squash - because that's what you did in the eighties - and was always at the bottom of the league. It was no fun.
I now go to the gym and do my own thing on the various exercise machines. I may be the unfittest person there but I don't know that and therefore don't care. As long as I am a bit better than I was yesterday then that will do me.

I totally understand that team sports can be good - both DC were in team sports and they gained many personal qualities through it - but there needs to be something else for the 'also-rans'. By definition there can only be one person/team that wins, sport needs to think more about all the non-winners i.e. the majority of the population.

I agree that "It's time we rebelled against the way fitness is sold to us" - it needs to be about self, not comparison to others.

rookiemere · 30/01/2015 09:47

This is semi related so hope I'm not derailing too much.

I went to a work conference earlier this week,I work in the financial sector, as an inspirational video we had clips from an Olympic gold medal winner.

It struck me as wrong on so many levels. Firstly (and non related to this) aren't there any business people that we could use. Secondly, it perpetuates the common myth that if only you try hard enough, train hard enough, eat the right food, you too could be a champion. It's such a dud message, some people can and yes we should absolutely encourage them and set up the structures to make that happen for them.

But are they intrinsically better than those of us who struggle to run a 5k and whose greatest achievement is not to come last? In many ways I think it's harder to set out on a race where that is literally your only goal - I've been in that situation many times. Once it did happen - it was a smaller race and mostly club runners (in my defence) - and it wasn't uplifting, it was humiliating and embarassing.

I saw the This Girl Can advert and I like it. Schools have a part to play as well by making sport more interesting to teenage girls and say having non comptetive classes like zumba - I think I would have enjoyed that as an overweight teenager more than being forced to run round a pitch in unflattering knickers.

KookyHome · 30/01/2015 13:01

I really support the running ethos of 'personal best' ie you are running purely for your own pleasure and benefit. That should apply in other sports too.

I'm lucky enough to belong to a netball club where we have competitive teams but also welcome women who want to play a sport for fun and fitness and social reasons, and who may not want to compete.

There is too much pressure on people these days (on women especially) to look a particular way. Any exercise, no matter how 'good' you are at it, is a positive thing and an achievement.

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