13 Weeks pregnant and v. depressed!!!

[Jelliebaby]

I am 13 weeks pregnant and feel very depressed. I am still feeling very sick and unable to leave the house as I feel so rotten at the moment, I am also suffering with severe acne which seems to have appeared since being pregnant and this too is making me want to stay indoors.

I am arguing with DP because he is so fed up of my moods and I feel like i'm always shouting at DD who is 3 because i'm frustrated at feeling so rubbish.

I am ignoring all friends phone calls as I don't feel like talking to anyone and I am spending most of my days crying and feeling sorry for myself.

I'm looking for advice as to weather these feelings are normal at this point in pregnancy and will they ever go away?

I know alot of people struggle to conceive and I should be thankful to be pregnant but I cant seem to snap out of it and be happy.

[RuthChan]

Hi Jelliebaby

I'm really sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time of it.
Being pregnant is tough at the best of times, isn't it.

You're 13 weeks now, so the chances are that you will start to feel better quite soon.
The sickness will pass and your hormones will settle down so that your acne and mood swings also calm down.

I too am pregnant at the moment. I had awful morning sickness and could do nothing other than sleep until 20 weeks.
Then I started to feel better and now I'm actually enjoying being pregnant.

Every pregnancy is different, but I'm sure that this won't last too much longer.
Until it passes, don't feel guilty about ignoring your friends or shouting at your DH. They'll understand and there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Once you have that little bundle of joy in your arms, it will all seem worth it.

[wingandprayer]

Firstly, congratulations on pregnancy, even though it feels far from something to celebrate at the moment.

Secondly, all the things you have been feeling are all normal and should improve in coming weeks now you through first trimester. However, I have been where you are and know that even thinking you've got to do it for one more day can seem like uphill struggle.

I know leaving house is tricky but could you just get out and sit in your garden or a local park with DD? Fresh air will really help, as will just being able to focus on something/anything else. Have any of your close friends got kids because if they do they will understand if you talk to them. If not, explain it, they are your friends and would probably do anything they could to help. Is DP supportive and assisting with DD? Have you got any other family around you cna draft it for a bit of extra help for him and until you start to feel better?

Have you spoken to your GP or MNW about this? My GP was rubbish when I had mild antenatal depresion brought on by awful morning sickness for 6 months, but he did refer me to counsellor and talking about it did help.

[wingandprayer]

Sorry, meant bit of extra help for you from family. DP not the one feeling rubbish...

[Jelliebaby]

Thank you both for your kind words.

DP started off supportive but is now getting annoyed with me as are the rest of my family, they are sick of my moaning and think I am just being awkward when I dont want to do anything. I just feel happiest in bed away from everyone.

Not really though about speaking to my GP or MNW as thought their answer will just be "It will pass" which I know it will but want it to hurry up.

Didn't have any of these feelings when pregnant with DD so wasn't prepared to feel like this.

[lilmissmummy]

It does sound like antenatal depression. I ended up speaking to my doctor (having been dragged there by my mother!) and he refered me to a counsellor who was absolutely fantastic. She encouraged me to explore how I was behaving and feeling, she arranged for us to go to different places to get out of the house and got me through a really strained time.

And if it is any consolation. The second I had dd it went away.

[Jelliebaby]

I innocently thought you only got antenatal depression AFTER the baby was born, I had no idea you could get it during pregnancy??

[LackaDAISYcal]

hi jelliebaby. congratulations on your pregnancy, but sorry you are feeling crap at the moment.

I have suffered from antenatal depression in my last pregnancy and in this one. Last time I didn't see anyone until i was almost 30 weeks by which time I was very ill indeed. Can you talk to your GP or MW about your feelings? AND is very real and little understood, but it is becoming more widely recognised.

It is normal to feel emotionally unstable though, and once the first trimester is past you may find that you start to pick up a bit. But, a lot of people struggle on in silence as they think that this is what pregnancy is all about. It doesn;t have to be.

I'll dig out some links for you for information on AND in a minute, but wanted to post this first

and it;s post-natal depression after pregnancy and there is no reason to think that you will have that too. for many women the depression disappears soon after delivery.

[Ash80]

Hello,
Sorry you are feeling down. From 13 weeks on, things should get better...

I just wanted to let you know that your GP can prescribe something for your skin that is pregnancy safe. It is called ' Zinyert' Zinc and erthryomycin lotion to apply) . I too had bad acne during pregnancy and found this helped alot. Hope things brighten up for you soon. x

[LackaDAISYcal]

link to information on AND. this was passed on by another MNer who knows the woman who is interviewed. There are links to her website as well which is really helpful and informative.

I hope this helps

[lilymolly]

hi jellie

I am the same- I am 7 weeks and have hyperemesis and have been confimed to bed for 2 weeks
I AM FECKING DEMENTED!!!!!
I am so ill I cant really get out of bed- cant eat and puke up a few times day.
DP tells me to snap out of it
Family think I am too snappy and moody
I cant cope with dd (2 and half)
cant even give my dogs a cuddle as their smell makes me vomit

I feel like shit and mega depressed but thats because of my cicumstances

I think you sound more likely to have depression as an illness and could possible need treatment? How would you feel about talking to your midwife about this?

Please try and seek help

If its any consolation I sometimes feel that bad that I want the pregnancy to end

[lilymolly]

Oh I used to see zineryt- its a topical solution that you put directly onto the face and should not effect the baby.
It really works.
At least thats what I told all the docs

[Jelliebaby]

Thanks for all your help on this. I think I probably do have AND as I seem to have all the symptoms listed on the link you posted. I think I will speak to my MW at my next appointment and also ask her about 'Zinyert'

[Jelliebaby]

Lilymolly

X post then I think. Your MS situation sounds similar to mine My MS started at 5 weeks and after a 3 day hospital visit I was in bed for 3 weeks. The hospital gave me 'Cyclizine' tablets to take 3 times a day (which i'm still taking) Just wanted to let you know that at 8 weeks it eased (slightly)and then at 10 weeks it eased again (slightly) so you won't feel 'this bad' forever and you won't be spending every day in bed. It does ease, just slowly.

I'm obviously still feeling sick and crap but think my problems are more than just MS.

[laidbackinengland]

Jellie - I know you come on to the due in Feb thread sometimes, but we will all support you there - whether you are feeling good or bad

[Jelliebaby]

Thanks Laidback. I do come on the due Feb thread but i just moan everytime i'm on it and everyone is so positive on the thread didn't want to bring the mood down. I'm running out of people to moan to

[nadssss]

I feel like this sometimes too jelliebaby ? I am 13 weeks as well. I haven?t been answering calls from friends because I just want to go home, eat dinner and get into bed. I suppose the difference is that I don?t feel like this ALL of the time and, if you do, you need to speak to someone because I bet you feel like you can?t keep going on about the same things (sickness etc) to your family and hubby.

Also, my skin was bad at about 8 weeks and I just dreaded going to work or going out. I think people underestimate the terrible effect on self esteem bad skin can have. I can only tell you what you know is true ? that your skin looks worse to you than anyone else. I found my skin ? even though bad ? seemed to heal quite quickly. I do think you should see a doctor about this too ? it can be so devastating.

I find I feel most awful on a Friday night because I am so tired after a week working ? I am totally irrational ? then I wake up on a Saturday morning and can?t understand why I was so upset.

I would just advise you to see someone BUT also to stop being so hard on yourself for feeling bad. This is a major change to your body and you should indulge yourself a bit ? take care of yourself, have baths and treat yourself if you can.

[Jelliebaby]

Thanks nadssss

I went to the drs this afternoon and asked for the Zinyert - she said she didn't feel comfortable giving it to me. I soon as she said that i was in tears and everything came out about how i felt.

She was lovely and has referred me to a specialist midwife who deals with this 'type of thing' she said a huge fuss is made over Post Natal Depression but Pregnancy depression is often left as people assume they should feel a bit rubbish when pregnant.

She said alot can be done and that i'm not alone. Really glad I went now so thanks everyone for the advice.

Told DP when i got home but he refuses to admit i'm depressed and thinks i just feel down coz i'm pregnant - suppose men still have a lot to learn!!!

[lilymolly]

well done you! Hope you feel better soon x

[LackaDAISYcal]

well done jelliebaby, and I hope you are feeling better soon. Get your DH to read the links I posted. Yes, pregnancy has its ups and downs, but the low days shouldn't outweigh the good.

re the meds for your skin.....there is an organisation in Newcastle that deals with informing GPs about the effects of all medicines in pregnancy. Your GP can call them with the drug details and they will give her the lowdown. It can't be accessed by lay people unfortunately, but you can at least give her the info for checking herself.

i'll dig out a link for you.

take Care of yourself

[Red6]

Hi, I am looking for some support and reassurance. I am currently 11 weeks pregnant and suffering with anxiety and depression i think. I have previously suffered from A&D but had reached a point where i was well managed using AD meds, yoga and exercse etc. When i found out i was pregnant i was told to stop my AD meds and pain meds i was taking for nerve pain immediately due to having bleeds. I also could not do my usual yoga and exercise due to bleeding. About one month later i began suffering with anxiety severely to the point where i could not eat and had to contact the mental health crisis team one night as i felt so desperate. I am currently back on my AD meds and have been for a month and have increased the dose a few days ago as instructed by gp. I am still feeling desperate, hopeless, anxious about everything and i am currently on the sick from work.

I feel guilty about taking my AD medication but can't help thinking this may have been prevented if i had been given the correct advice initially. I am also worried about coping when the baby is born and whether i will bond with the baby.

I am just hoping for some reassurance that i will improve and does this mean i am destined for post natel depression also.
Also any tips to help in my recovery would be greatly appreciated.

[lelarose]

red- "I am still feeling desperate, hopeless, anxious about everything "- boy oh boy can I relate to that. I had horrific antenatal depression and anxiety whilst pregnant last year (my son is now 3 months old). I also had to take ads and felt terribly guilty and anxious about this.

I was very worried about bonding with my son and coping too.

It doesn't mean you will have pnd.

I finally got offered a psychologist who still comes to my house (I dont have pnd but have other problems related to my specific situation, so please if you see my problems on the other thread dont take me as an example of what always happens if you are depressed in pregnancy, there is EVERY chance you will get better when the baby is born, so much of it is hormonal).

Get referred to someone you can talk to about your feelings honestly. I also got a huge amount of support from ladies on here who were extremely kind to me when I was at my worst and never judged me.

Couldn't let your post go unanswered, hope this helps even a wee bit.

[Red6]

Thank you lelarose, this helps a lot.

what did you found helped the most for your recovery, tryin to do everythin i can to help myself and would love to enjoy this time xx