how long is this going to go on?

[noma]

My ds started nursery in september and i thought it would be a great way for me at last to make friends, but i have found it very hard, at first i kept smiling at people and saying hello but people where just giving me dirty looks and i got very angry at that so now i have given up! I am an older mum and i find this hole envourment a new thing i have to go to a parents meeting tomorrow and to be quiet truthful i would rather have a tooth out then go but i keep telling myself im just there for my son but im not very convincing. sorry about this being so long i just wanted to get it off my chest!

[frumpygrumpy]

I just saw this and wanted to reply. Its not usual for MN to be so quiet for so long.....

When I had my DD I tried some mother and toddler groups. They weren't really my thing but I felt it was healthy for us to go to something regularly. I HATED IT and she wasn't too impressed either. All the mums sat in bunches and no matter how many polite conversations I tried to kick off they all ended with nothing. I ended up playing with everyones kids on the floor while they enjoyed me doing that.

I shopped around and tried 3 music classes and a gym class. The final music class was brilliant and the gym class so good that DD still attends 5 years on and I take my younger two as well.

I know that you are talking about nursery though and what I feel about the one I use is that, although its a lovely nursery, the mums and dads just drop off and pick up and interaction is very limited. Is it possible you could use nursery just as a place for your DS to interact with his peers (and you have your time) and shop about for another activity you might do together which in turn might connect you with someone whose company you appreciate?

I have never been a great mixer, preferring one or two lovely people that I've been close with at different stages of my life. It took me until my DD was 3 before I met a woman at the gym class I go to with DD. Our DDs liked each other and the more contact they had I realised she was a good laugh and sincere and thoughtful. She's now become a trustworthy friend. I think what I'm trying to say is shop about, don't expect you'll bump into someone worthy of what you have to offer straight away. Does that help at all?

AND...... your post was far from long

[noma]

Thanks for that frumpygrumpy i think you are right i am not a great mixer never have been but i thought this was the time i would meet someone to talk to.

[gigwig]

Hi there, just wanted to send you some sympathy. you'll find there are a lot of people who feel like you do about making friends with other mums at nursery.

Im sure the other people werent giving you dirty looks. I think in most cases they're just pre-occupied with their own thoughts or their own friends, they're not meaning to be unfriendly, but just don't think about saying hello etc to others.

I sometimes dont want to go out but often force myself to, often feel better afterwards though but sometimes dont but more often than not I do feel better.

It can take ages to make friends or it can take no time atall if you happen to bump into someone you can 'connect' with. Just want to say I really feel for you and I would say hello to you if I saw you!

[noma]

thanks for that gigwig!