Running away from it all

[ginmummy]

I have suffered from pnd since ds was born in Oct 03, and after a long fight with pnd drugs have finally learned how to live without them and 'live' at the same time.

My problem is this. I have always felt like a brood mare with my ex partner, and I left him a year ago to move back 'down south' with my family, believing that it would be best for ds and me. A year on and I have had more than several serious thoughts of running away from it all with ds and leaving all the family to slug it out for themselves whilst ds and I live on a commune in the outer hebrides. I'm serious about this. I really do want to leave the world behind for a year or so and ds and me to have each other and survive as part of a community with no alterior motive somewhere where materialistim and friction isn't an issue, where we just live from the land and survive as a community working for the good of the group. Years ago, before I had ds, I seriously considered living on a kibbutz in Israel, and at the time I had nothing stopping me though something obviously did as I didn't do it.

Any thoughts? Has anyone done this?

[frumpygrumpy]

Bumping for ginmummy.

I've never done it gin but I think if you can find somewhere really supportive and caring and you believe it to be a good thing for ds (not sure what age he is) then fine, do it, you only get one chance at this life. My only hesitation is about whether its right for your ds but you'll know him best. Good luck and keep bumping, someone must have experience.

[Tortington]

sounds like you want to run away from life.

do you work? how are you supported? how old is your child?

then what? so go grow cabbages for a year - then....?

[ginmummy]

DS is two and a half so it wouldn't be unfeasable as he's not at school. I don't have my own house as ds and I live with my mum in her rather small two bedroomed town house, and I'm a temp who can't get a 'proper' job so there's no ties there either.

I think it would do ds and me good to retreat somewhere just the two of us for a week and enjoy each other's company, but the thought is still there like a big nagging ache - that we probably won't ever be in this position again and it's one of the things that I might regret not doing with ds.

[zippitippitoes]

I think the other thing to consider is that these types of small communities often have just as many if not more stresses and strains than your own family...especially if made up of people who are struggling with the everyday world

[ginmummy]

Zippitoes & FOTM, you're both right, problems would still be here when I got back and there's no reason to think that a self-sufficient community wouldn't have it's own set of internal politics and associated issues.

I think the way my irrational brain is selling it to me is that it would be like taking time off to go travelling whilst ds is young enough to do it. Once he starts school that's it. I moved around quite a bit when I was younger and I don't want to do that with ds. Maybe I could find somewhere to go on a retreat with ds for a short while like a week?? Some people go to Majorca for a holiday, we could go to Skye and get away from it all!

[zippitippitoes]

I'm sure there are lots of possibilities..

like this \link{http://www.erraid.com/\ Erraid part of Findhorn Foundation}

ps I know how you feel. I went through a long period of trying to run away too

[ginmummy]

Thanks guys! It's certainly given me a lot to think about!

That link looks about spot on what I had in mind, though I can't drive so that might be an obsticle, but where there's a will there's a way etc.

[zippitippitoes]

It looks gorgeous ..I don't think lack of a car would matter, it would be a long journey there but part of the fun maybe?

[frumpygrumpy]

Good luck with it honey, let us know what you decide .........



.......we might join you