deste
Pewley is lovely. I know lots of children there. All the parents speak really well of it.
DD is a bit miffed she couldn't go there .

Greatfun
Ireally wasn't trying to be unhelpful

The thing is that each school really really is completely different. My Ds1 attended a school where the parents were very money driven and he was ridiculed at one point by some of the girls because he didn't wear designer brands etc .The parents were all too focussed on where you lived and what car you drove. It was really crass and he left.

But other schools will be filled with parents who are disinterested in money and income etc. Ds1 has friends whos parents are loaded and parents who really struggle to pay fees and boys on bursaries and scholarships. the boys don't care - they find their friends amongst those who they like. End of story. The parents arethe same.
Same with DDs school.
Of course you get a few posturing knobs but you get them everywhere.

I know the school tour is not the same as meeting parents but in a good school you really will get a sense of the children and that tells you a great deal about the parents. Open days are interesting because you see the types of parnets who are drawn to that school - and existing parents touring with siblings.
My Ds1 has had to take a few parents around the school. he is not coached and the parents ask whatthey want. he has been asked about bullying, about wealthy and poor pupils etc - and he is told to answer with his own viewpoint and honestly.

Also , if you like a school, try and walk past at drop off or pick up - see what the parents are like. Go to an event if you can like a summer fair. My DCs schools to concerts open to the public.

Its like buying a house - you wander around and see what it is like when it feels off duty.
I used to watch the boys from my sons school in town and see how they behave together etc. I am probably lucky I didn't have a thread about me on here

They really are all different. DS1 has been at four and they were all different.

Sorry to be long winded. Just trying to reply without you seeing it as trite

Greatfun: here's my contribution, for what it's worth!

"Firstly, is it worth it for primary school age or are better leaving it until secondary (our local primaries are good but the secondaries are rubbish)?"

It is worth it a thousand times over. Our local primary is good, but we still went for the local independent for the DCs.

"Secondly, we could afford to do this but it would be at the expense of things (luxuries rather than essentials)"

Same here! No second cars/holidays/posh clothes/handbags/kitchen extensions here...

"I worry the DCs will be viewed as the poor kids because we can't keep up with the other parents - Is this really an issue or are there many parents like us in the private system?"

There are many, many, many parents like us in the private system. There are some very wealthy ones, obviously, but they're not the majority. There's a real mixture at our school!

"We live in SW London which has mish mash of people around. Its one of the things I like but I worry that private school will only consist of a middle class kids and the DCs will therefore find it difficult to relate to other people. Is this the case or just a figment of my imagination?"

I can't speak for SW London specifically, but I also live in a mish-mash area, and the DCs manage to relate to everyone just fine. Bear in mind they spend a lot more time not at school than they do at school, so there's plenty of time to play with non-school friends.

Personally, I think anyone who can afford it at the expense just of luxuries would be crazy not to do it. By the age of seven, the difference is obvious (sadly).

Again, I can't speak for London, but my DCs certainly don't seem pressured. They seem to have a whole lot of fun right across the spectrum!

Pag my DD is starting work at Pewley after summer. She went to a very posh mixed independant school from 5 - 18 and decided this was the school she wanted to work in as the children were lovely and very well behaved.

Coming late to this, but as a parent in SW London who's used the local primary schools and is 'going private' for secondary, I would reassure you that at my DSs' school all the children who wanted to go to a private secondary are going to one next year. About half the year group will be going to private schools and children from the school go every year to selective schools like Putney High, King's College Wimbledon, Latymer Upper, Hampton, LEH, Tiffin Boys and Girls, Kingston Grammar and so on.

The advantage for my son is that he's had a pressure-free primary education at a lovely school within walking distance, with loads of friends just round the corner.

I have seen the state primaries and will of course look at the private schools . I think it perfectly valid to ask questions about the sector in general. If you noticed I had already said the primaries were good. What I was really asking was in that case was there any point in paying for school at this stage. The questions about whether my kids may be viewed as the poor kids or how they would interact with people would unlikely to be answered by seeing the schools.The tour of the school is mostly there to sell the school after all. I asked here because I knew there would be a wide range of parents some who have or do use private schools and may therefore be able to answer my questions.

Thanks to everyone for your useful replies. I will go away and have a think. I need to look into the real cost of the private schools first vs just the fees as that may just put a stop to my plan anyway.

pag interesting Thomas Cook/Kuoni analogy there spot on IMHO

Pag - thanks for the reply, very helpful - and much appreciated that you have torn yourself away from the Strongbow Chablis

hey hf1

I am not sure I am much help as we moved here a few years ago when DS1 chose the boys school he wanted to go to. Dds choice somewhat followed on from there as I decided on single sex and within short walking distance of my house that narrows the choicews a bit !
DS2 is at school in Woking but that is obviously SN/ASD

I think the ones I have heard goodthings about ( or liked from looking around) are Pewley infants and Holy Trinity at primary and St Nicholas'. Also Tormed for girls which is really good at pastoral community stuff - Gilford High if child is very academic ( although too hot house for my taste) .

At older levels - mixed views about George Abbott. I hear lots of good things but the children don't seem to present themselves the way I would wish IYSWIM. Guildford county seems to produce nice kids and do well. RGS is considered a hot house but the boys are bright, funny and nice so I love it. Hampton and LEH are availbale via coach from Woking and are excellent schools.

Those are my limited and probably biased views . Not sure they are any help. I liked schools very close to home so didn't really charge around too much and only have friends imput rather than personal views on the others.

I am also a bit pissed

I'm also in SW london and a teacher in the state sector. Our local primaries are all great and being able to walk to school and be at a local school with local children means a lot to me.

I may have to climb down from my state education soap box at secondary level, however I know that if we all used our local state secondaries they would be much better than they are.

I'm also in SW london and a teacher in the state sector. Our local primaries are all great and being able to walk to school and be at a local school with local children means a lot to me.

I may have to climb down from my state education soap box at secondary level, however I know that if we all used our local state secondaries they would be much better than they are.