Mumsnet Talk

I moved my three children to private school for two reasons, first the eldest was being bullied and the school were in complete denial and basically blamed her saying she had mental health issues. The second was her maths was absolutely awful and they expected me to get her a tutor or deal with it, they were not going to put in any additional effort at all. That child has now gone on to state senior school and is doing brilliantly - level 5H in maths in year 7, everyone is pleased with her.
Now the jist is literally 2 months after three of them started private school my husband was made redundant. For 2.5 years we have struggled and got ourselves into debt to pay these fees. The private school knows we are on the bones of our arses but when the fees were one day late in January we got 7 phone calls chasing us and told not to bring the children in until the fees were up to date.
This was simply a cash flow issue, a cheque was clearing, they knew this.

So I've had enough. The school they came from is around the corner, this will save £40 a week in petrol alone.
Whilst I will no doubt be feeling embarrassed I doubt the children will mind at all, they've made some friends at the private school and we'll keep in touch with them.
It's the maths that worries me, how do I keep the good work up and in other areas they've come on leaps and bounds, reading, handwriting I am terrified of all the good work going to waste, how do I maintain the standards ?
Has anyone had any experience in the same situation, please tell me it worked out ?

The maths bit is easy, a tutor is a hell of a lot cheaper than fees.

The rest, I dunno. Much less sport, but get them to join local sports clubs. Art etc similar.

What years are the younger 2 in?
Children, even in the smae family, can be quite different Some people will never be natural mathematicians but have talents elsewhere. What are the younger 2 like at maths?
There are other ways in which you can keep up with maths at a much lower cost than private school fees , kumon, tuition (even at home) etc. Guve notice today though, otherwise you'll be chased for another terms fees.

You can always do something like buy the Galore Park textbooks and work on them with them yourself. Much much cheaper than school fees.

Could you not investigate bursaries at the current school? I have no idea how this works, but I have friends who earn well, but seem to get assistance with fees.

We already get 50% off one child's fees.
Hubby is on JSA, the fees take up all of my full time salary.
Younger two are year 3 and 5.
They are ok at Maths, I don't think any of mine are naturals though.
Will look for those text books online, I have bought a planner to fill up with tennis clubs, drama etc :D

DS1 is/was awful at maths. Years ago we moved him from a small village school to a prep and it certainly improved slightly although he lacked confidence. In yr 9 he moved back to our excellent local comp. We employ a tutor once a week he goes over what they are covering this week. Last year I though he'd never get maths GCSE in a million years now he's predicted a C or even a B if he works harder. A C is good enough for me.
This year we do have better teachers last year wont so great, the tutor definitely helped, but his attitude has changed the threat that he'd have to keep re sitting it till he passed it so why not pass it on his first attempt might have helped. The school also picked up on his awful maths and as they are keen to have good results they have given him intensive input this year in a small class with two teachers; what I trying to say is don't despair.

You do realise you (most probably) need to give a full terms notice to withdraw your DC from the private school or pay a terms fees in lieu.

If you want to pull them out at Easter it may already be too late for a FULL terms notice, depending how accommodating the school is. If you want them to leave at the end of the summer term read up on your contract but most private schools require a full terms notice or specify a letter BEFORE the first day of term.

I know a friend who got a bit caught out like this (also struggling with the fees), so just thought I would mention it because another unexpected bill is the last thing you need.

I was wondering if the school have asked the OP not to bring the children back until the fees are paid then they have effectively chucked them out and therefore cant ask for the fees.

that sounds unusually harsh (the school saying dont bring children in). Have you been late with fees before?

Yes it's been a constant battle for the past 2 years to pay fees at all nevermind on time, however they have always been paid so it's not like we owe them anything at all.
I have given notice at is happens, last time they annoyed me at half term I said right that's it here's notice, not really intending to exercise that right.
My friend is a solicitor and he suggested suspension is effectively releasing you from the contract as they are not offering the services they are charging you for, but I have no energy for all that on top of the children and work.

It sounds like you will be very relieved to move them!

State schools frequently offer 'booster classes' in numeracy and literacy for children who need more time or a different approach. Ask the school what their approach is for children who are falling behind in any subject.
At DS's school they have classes at 8am or after school, in the form of a club, and it makes quite a difference to the confidence and ability of the children. Other children work in small groups in a separate classroom for those lessons or for a few lessons a week, with a specialist teacher. Beyond that parents seek specialist analysis of their children's difficulties (dyslexia or whatever, if it has not been idntified by the school services) and then specialist support - but as someone said if that is needed it isn't as expensive as school fees.

I hope the transition works out well - it does sound as if you are making the right decision in the circumstances.

our prep has specialist classes for those struggling in maths (included in fees) with specialist tutor. Thought that was the norm in all private schools but maybe not.

Is there another state school they could go to?

Couldy ou remortgage the house?
Could you take a second job at weekends as your husband is a house husband? Is there really no work he can do at all not even cleaning and bar work?

i must say I tend to agree wiht xenia that I would remorgage my house before I sent my kids back to state school...

I think if you are struggling to pay that badly, then the stress and instability outweigh any educational benefit and you should move them.

grafit, you must have awful experiences of state schools! Luckily DS's school seems great and is "outstanding", and we're only at the beginning of his time in school, but I can't imagine it ever being so bad that I would risk our family home for his education.

Well all mine started at an outstanding primary and are now private and yes I would remortgage before taking them out and I am not completely insane, so draw your own conclusions!

I would send them back to state school. Should the situation arise (you never know, they may have different abilities or new help in school) you could always pay for a tutor to help with subjects the children are struggling with.

I would also do this asap to let them settle as your child in yr5 only has 18mths to go at primary school.

Surely the extra money could be used to better effect for the family at this present time.

Xenia, he is going to be working but it will be £10k less than he was earning when we took the decision to move them into private school. And he'll be self employed so the money tends to come in massive chunks that you don't know what to do with it you have so much or nothing for months and you are eating baked beans. Now I don't mind that but the school is unhappy with the arrangement and threatens to chuck them out if we are late paying even if we paid one year in advance to show we will pay you.

As it's the school they came from in the first place I'm hoping it'll take less time to settle back in.

The booster classes in the state school seem to be offered to children struggling, mine aren't struggling enough apparently but are struggling and what were WE going to do about it was the attitude last time.

I think if I felt like you grafit and could see such a dramatic difference I would rob a bank - remortgage is out of the question due to self employment - never rains but it pours, but I don't see £12k difference between my children's education and the kids next doors. Yes, it's better but it's not that much better iyswim.

Is there another state school, there is and I have considered home education I just felt that going back to the old one might be less upheaval, more humiliating for me but less for them to cope with.
Luckily I haven't said a bad word about the state school to anyone, thought it at times though

I would look carefully at all the options, if you were unhappy with that state school it might be worth looking at alternative ones, just in case.
Grafit you must have had a particularly experience, not all state schools are the same, and Ofsted Outstanding doesn't mean it will suit your child, anymore than the fact you "pay" for the school.
I have had friends move their kids from Outstanding/highly desirable schools to less sought after ones, and their kids have thrived in the "more deprived" ones. I do also know people who have moved kids from private to state, and be very pleased and they had no financial reason to move their child.

Heswell, you sound like a person with their head well screwed on. I think you're making the right decision. Of course, here on MN you will always find the 'I would sooner be crucified than allow my precious child's foot to pass the door of a state school' view; you will find some who feel state schooling is tantamount to child abuse; but of course you will also find voices of balance and reason who recognise that some aspects of some private schooling may be better for some DC, but you cannot extrapolate that across the entire gamut of every private school, in the same way as one 'bad' state experience causing someone to choose near-bankruptcy over another state school is frankly unhinged!

I readily admit I have little direct experience of private- all the DCs here including those of solicitors and consultants use the local state secondary school- but like you, of those DC I do know who go private (for various reasons), I really haven't witnessed £12,000 pa's worth of better schooling in their DC. As I say of a friend's DC (who entirely of her own admission go private because their mother can't bear the hoi-polloi!), the good thing is, after 5 years of private (middle league!) schooling, you can't see any obvious effects of it (they only occasionally slip into graceless bragging), but the bad thing is, you can't see the effects of 5 years of private schooling in that they have no more polish than my own DSs of the same age! I smile because we're always being told on MN that 'My DCs don't go private to enhance (otherwise mediocre!) academic performance, oh no, they go because of all the extras state schooling can't provide, the poise, the manners, the confidence'.... Nope, not seeing that in my friend's DCs or their friends who I also often meet!

I think a fresh start back at the old school is the way to go, especially bearing in mind the relative youth of your DCs. That first month that the fees demand doesn't hit your doorstep will be a huge relief.