Why do men watch porn

(62 Posts)
20092012 Sat 01-Dec-12 21:12:37

I know people say its normal for a guy to watch porn but really why do you feel the need to if u have a girl? I'm married with 2 kids in 24 and my husband is 26 we have been married for 4 years, I don't like the fact he watches porn it makes me feel like I'm not enough for him, I can't help but think I'm obviously not satisfying him! When I ask him he jus changes subject like he doesn't want to talk about it so I don't push him! I would like to know from mainly the men hu do feel the need to watch it and why? Also women dont hesitate to comment thanx

MommaRoo78 Mon 15-Sep-14 12:38:15

I find it really disrespectful.

I think my kids will have no mom to grow up with if their dad ever treated me like this because id kill myself or leave him 100%. on his own.

I couldnt handle it and dont like being forced to put up with something. If im not enough for him then he can go and find something he is happy with and frankly 'i love you' wouldnt wash.

I dont think he's like that because he treats me with so much respect it's untrue but there's no doubt in my mind after owning my own house and paying my way 'that i dont NEED him'.

im with him because I love him very much and want him in my life. I would not put up with any man taking the mickey.

Do you think an adult who voluntarily exposes his or her private parts for the erotic pleasure of the public in general to be mistreated?

By the way, I don't deny that there is exploitation in the pornographic industry, or that a person whose privacy is violated is mistreated. However, this is not an argument that porn per se involves mistreatment.

There is of course the separate argument that porn objectifies (mostly) women. However, my view is that objectification need not require a person with his or her clothes off: it can be done through a fictional character too.

Jayne35 Sun 17-Aug-14 09:54:33

That literary porn is fictional, no person is mistreated in the writing of a book. I never used to be bothered one way or another about porn but that has changed. Watching some of the documentaries about the industry was very informative. With regard to fifty shades I haven't read it as I don't find it at all appealing so I can't really comment it.

I will expand. It is one thing to express dislike of something one's partner does. It is another to insist that it stop. Forbidding is the most accurate term for this, and there are plenty of examples when it is fair enough.

I don't see a relevant difference between visual and literary porn. What do you think it is?

Jayne35 Mon 28-Jul-14 15:52:33

So it is appropriate for a man to forbid his wife from reading Fifty Shades of Gray?

Forbid - No. Ask - yes, if he really doesn't like it. I have asked my DH to stop watching porn (repeatedly - waste of time!) as I don't like it but I would not object to him reading erotic fiction, two completely different things.

So it is appropriate for a man to forbid his wife from reading Fifty Shades of Gray?

hell4heather Tue 22-Jul-14 21:18:45

I'm lurking too. Why men watch porn isn't really an issue. If you are in a relationship with someone, they watch porn and you don't like it you are entitled to say so! If it hurts you and he/she loves you, they should stop. YOU set the boundaries in your relationship. Never forget that.

CrayolaCocaColaRocknRolla Tue 08-Jul-14 11:21:32

it seems like this post is still open! i'm lurking. :D
men watch porn because thats how they get off - its harder for a man to use imaginiation. I use porn so I can get ideas on how to spice the sex life up! He watches porn to get off while I'm not there ( i don't live with my DP)

PrivetHawkmoth Thu 27-Mar-14 15:14:48

Sorry OP, I realise my post doesn't exactly answer your question - but I think the reasons men watch porn are probably quite similar to why women watch porn. It's extremely natural to be turned on by the thought or image of other people having sex!

I think you need to get your partner to talk to you about it more and be more open so you can understand it - he needs to listen to your concerns and appreciate how it might make you feel, especially if you're feeling stressed or insecure.

PrivetHawkmoth Thu 27-Mar-14 15:05:08

I'm a woman (happily married, decent sex life) and I like watching porn occasionally - it's no reflection on my DH or my sex life, it just turns me on and gives me a good orgasm. I don't think men are always more 'visual' than women, necessarily. I certainly get turned on by visual stuff. I go through phases of liking specific types of porn and am not a fan of the traditional porn actor look at all, or the swearing and fake boobs/fake moaning that's so common in mainstream porn.

I find it gets me thinking about sex more often and improves my libido - the more orgasms I have, the more I want. If I've been busy for a few weeks, sex has got less frequent etc, then a bit of porn can quickly help me get back in the mood.

And yes, there are a lot of ethical problems around porn.. but there are also a hell of a lot of amateur videos out there with consenting adult 'performers' - just people enjoying sex basically.

BreakingDad77 Thu 27-Mar-14 14:41:17

Men are visual creatures, how would you feel if men started saying you cant read fifty shades etc?

If he is turning sex down to wank instead then that is a problem and also if it is some strange fetish you may want to talk to him.

sheriffofnottingham Wed 12-Mar-14 17:42:08

because playing with your bits feels nice and porn helps jolly the job along. generally having a wank has little to do with love or desire it's more like scratching an itch. hangovers, tiredness, insomnia, hunger, anger, boredom... the list goes on, all made better by having a wank

sazgirl Mon 03-Mar-14 14:41:58

I love watching porn. I watch alone and with DH and very regularly. Nothing wrong with it, it enriches and varies our sex life. I feel empowered, in charge and very very sexy...DH never complains he "loves me to bits"
never feel guilty...its just good sexy fun !!!

Berzingaa Fri 29-Nov-13 19:41:45

I'm 20 and my partners 23 we frequently watch porn together, we both have a rather high sex drive anyway having sex 1-2 a night (bar that time of the month) It's fun, I personally don't see the issue..

erilou38 Fri 29-Nov-13 13:26:41

My husband is 26 and he loves watching porn. I guess it'sbecause he is still fairly young and highly-sexed. He usually watching it twice a day. I'm 38, his sexy older Milf he calls me LOL and i have to admit that i love porn too! Quite often we watch it together and then actoutsome of the scenes!

UrbanDad Thu 28-Nov-13 20:58:34

"Scientists at the University of Montreal launched a search for men who had never looked at pornography - but couldn't find any"
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/6709646/All-men-watch-porn-scientists-find.html

VikingTon Fri 08-Nov-13 16:39:04

^ Lol wut

Biggedybiggedybongsoitis Thu 07-Nov-13 09:51:59

To aid masturbation.

MistAllChuckingFrighty Wed 06-Nov-13 21:07:48

I find Stella does fuck-all for my relationship

It makes my husband don a wife beater vest and makes his dick go soft

Just my opinion

Daddyofone Wed 06-Nov-13 20:59:13

I think a thing is that the ramifications of sex if you do it right ( i.e. make a baby ) , on a physical level, are far more serious for a woman than a man. So it's bound to effect perceptions and behaviour. Which is why women seem more interested in things like 50 Shades where she gets her man at the end of a trilogy ( I'm guessing ) , and men are more at ease with masterbating over different porn actors every time they tune in.

So again, purely on a physical level, a man could successfully be party to creating babies on a daily basis in theory, a woman obviously is in a different situation. Which I guess explaines why in some species, males in the animal kingdom have a large group of females that they have sex with and fight to the death for.

openseason Wed 06-Nov-13 12:25:08

to me men are more visual so it exciting to watch its not just men who watch it a lot of women do too sometimes you find yourself watching it to put a bit of spice back n to your own sex life.

Wildcherry1976 Fri 13-Sep-13 08:07:30

Men are visual creatures and porn is an aid to exploring their sexual fantasies. They serve the same purpose as erotic novels. Women in relationships should only be concerned if their sex life is dwindling and/or is non existent. In which case, porn has become a replacement for them.

To the person who posted this thread I say;

Would you rather he stopped watching porn and fantasised about the local waitress at the coffee shop down the street? Everyone needs to fantasise. It is, on the whole, a very healthy and necessary activity and does not mean that you are not enough for him. Trying to suppress that could do far more damage to your relationship than good. You don't need to condone his activity just don't give him a hard time about it. If your sex life is less than Stella focus on improving this without laying blame. Take some risks in your relationship and have some fun.

One could even rephrase the OP to ask "why do women in relationships read Fifty Shades of Gray?

The answer is: because they get off on it. The better question is why does visual pornography arouse such disgust whereas written pornography does not?

Kafri Mon 27-May-13 12:44:37

I kind of see it like this.....

I like reading a book (not porn - just a bog standard book though I did read 50 shades )

DH likes to watch a bit of porn

When I was younger (Ok, so at 30 im not exactly ancient now), it used to bother me but as I've got older I just can't be bothered making a big deal out of it. The internet has defo made it more accessible to both men and women which is fine if that's what you're into. It could be said that the internet has made reading more accessible - downloading books to kindle.

DH watched porn before he met me. It doesn't think i'm not good enough. He doesn't want to go out and cheat on me - it's just something he enjoys so as long as I don't have to hear all about it, then i'm really not bothered.

minkembra Thu 16-May-13 20:08:57

fastloris some of that has been claimed in various studies but the type of man a woman is attracted to varies depending on her cycle.
the biological imperative is to mate with a man with high testosterone but to bond with a man with lower testosterone. less dangerous. so one to bring up kids with and another to actually father them.
plus if same woman sleeps with her partner and non partner within her fertile period she is more likely round conceive to the non partner.

or so some studies say.

then again just because it is a biological urge does not actually make it ok to cuckold your husband!?!

it is also a biological urge to kill any of your partners offspring that are not yours.

that said have had partners who were into porn and others who were not. as long as it is not misogynist paedophilic or otherwise illegal or overly offensive or all day long i am not bothered and don't view it as personal.

likewise masturbation. sometimes a solo flight is less hassle.

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