I had my twins 3 years ago by elective section due to breech positioning. Didn't have a birth plan, the midwives asked DH if I wanted to breastfeed and brought the babies into me as soon as I woke up from GA.

This time around I am hoping for VBAC. I hate to sound gormless but when I try and write a birthplan I feel that having never even experienced a contraction, I have no idea what I will want or how I will react to the pain and therefore what drugs/intervention I may or may not want/may be recommended to have.

I assume they will ask me if I want to breastfeed, so I don't know if I need to write a long paragraph about that. I'd like to have skin to skin as soon as possible, but I presume this would only not be done if there was something that needed to be checked/problems - in which case I'd rather that got sorted out first.

Is it hopelessly naive to go with the flow and ask for things as I need them/am advised to have them? I don't want to set myself up to expect things to go a certain way and to then feel let down that they haven't. I'm positive that I have a good chance of achieving a VBAC but I'm also being realistic that it might not happen and I might end up having another section. Particulary as the hospital will not induce me if I go overdue due to the previous section.

Re the hospital tour, its on a Sunday in 2 weeks when I'll be 38+ weeks. We have no one to look after DC that day, so I'd have to go up by myself and our nearest hospital is a long drive and I'm knackered and uncomfortable when driving at the moment. We went on the hospital tour last time around when we had the twins (different hospital) so I've seen labour rooms, wards and operating theatre for sections, plus the SCBU unit. I'm presuming this hospital is pretty much the same, size and age of facilities are similar.

Again, should I go? Any advice/experiences?

I have never had a birth plan (had 3 babies) because I'm in France and people don't write them here. My DH was well briefed in the things I really did and didn't want. But in your shoes I'd just write a few lines on the things that are important to you (eg skin to skin), and go with the flow for the rest.

As for the hospital tour, as long as you know where on D-day, I wouldn't bother if it's going to be a big hassle. One hospital is much like another, as you say.

where *to go* on d-day

My carefully considered birth plan didn't even come out of my hospital bag, so I don't think they're particularly necessary.

And I think Castille's right about the hospital - it's not as if you've never been in a maternity unit before.

Never done either.

If your getting a CS you should be able to say what you want anyway.

I had c section then VBAC, I didn't write a plan for either. I thought the same; what the hell do I know about labouring?

To be honest, if I got PG again I'd have a few requests - one in particular being that I wanted a quiet room to labour in as doctors, midwives, nurses etc bustling in and chatting really put me off my focus. Otherwise, like you say, you haven't a clue what may or may not happen.

I didn't ahve a birth plan
on that page I wrote

have a baby

(a good plan I thought)

I didn't write a birthplan for ds, because dd's birth didn't go according to plan and it just seemed like setting myself up to fail. In the event I had the exact birth I would have chosen. I think the process of writing a birth plan is more helpful than actually having it available during the birth. A birth partner who knows your preferences is more important.

Have you actually been to the hospital before? Do you know where you have to go when you arrive in labour? At my hospital there were two different labour areas, one had pools and was midwife-led, one had pain relief and doctors. Turning left or right at the top of the stairs as you arrived could have had quite a big impact on one's birth experience (not that you weren't allowed to move but you're not always thinking that clearly under these circumstances). So I'd personally do the tour, but if you have been there for scans etc and are familiar with the layout then it's probably not that important.

i wouild go visit so you see it calmly and objectively, and not when racing around thinking oh my god baby coming

birth plan- really a few well written conscise bullet points will suffice.dont need a huge wolloping battle plan

do consider
- analgesia
-do you want students
- skin contact post birth
- who cut cord
- Vit K injection for baby
- feeding plan

do consider a what if plan...not being alarmist but

if baby go scbu do you want husband to accompany or stay with you

if another cs indicated, discussion etc

not all SCBU are same or have range of facilities.they range form scbu,hdu, to NICU.but not all hosps have NICU so transfer may be necessary

No.

I wrote copious notes for DS#1. I attended a whistlestop tour of the maternity ward which left me no better off in terms of knowledge.

Birth plan went out of the window more or less. My mw was fine, very flexible amd supportive, but in the end I was overwhelmed and was happy to go with what she said.

Second and third time I was in control so was able to say exactly what was and wasn't going to happen.

However I would pay a visit to the maternity ward at least to get a fix on where to go on the day.

I find birth plans more useful before you give birth.

I've written them for all of my births, and I think the most useful part was going over it with my practitioner before hand. They get a picture of how I would like the birth to go and in a way get some insight into me. It also shows them that I've looked into my options and I'm well informed. We also discuss what hospital policies are versus my plan and change it together.

Definately take the tour and make your dh pay attention on how to get there. Mine wasn't paying attention, so he called me on my cell phone (came from work) having no idea where to go, wandering around the hospital.

I didn't have a birth plan although in retrospect it would have consisted of four words written in big bold letters, 'I WANT A EDIPURAL!!!!'.

To be honest I didn't know what to expect the first time and I didn't really know what to write so I didn't write anything. I found the ante natal midwife rather unhelpful. I had wanted an epidural from the outset but when I said it I was met with such derision I didn't feel I could bring it up again (and certainly not commit it to paper!!).

When I arrived at the hospital and asked for an epidural I was told the anaethatist was unavailble and when I asked again I was told I was too close to giving birth (5 hrs before I actually did). I felt I was lied to but tbh a carefully written birth plan wouldn't have made any difference.

Second time still wanted an epidural in theory but as I was in labour for an hour and a half we never got a chance and I really didn't need it.

Didn't bother with the hospital tour at all even with the first. You've seen one hospital bed you've seen them all. I thought the idea of a tour in the first place was very also a bit odd imo.

Also thinking back I don't think anyone ever even asked me if I had a birthplan and I can't help but feel it's a bit of a con to give pregnant women something to do whilst pregnant.

I didn't have a birth plan with dd2 for the simple fact that i messed up my birthing plan with dd1 by saying 'no pain relief' (the worst mistake i could have made). With dd2 i wanted to wait and see how i felt once i got to the hospital and then decide what pain relief i would want.

MKG is right - it's worth ^thinking about all these things even if you don;t have a 'plan' at the end of it

and re things like assuming you'll get skin-to-skin unless something's wrong - never assume anything like that. Some women are knackered after the birth and want dh to hold the baby etc

your MWs won't have a clue what you want unless you tell them, and as labour can be a bit preoccupying it';s handy to have this kind of thing written down so people don;t ask you stupid qiiuestions or, worse, assume and get it wrong

Bullet points will do

and re never having laboured before - remember all first timers who write a birth plan are doing so with no experience of labour or birth at all!

I didn't bother with a birth plan with either dc. Not my cup of tea. Insofar as there was a plan it was: go in, have baby as quickly as possible, leave again.

I took the view that I could just say what I wanted to happen - or not to happen - on the day, and I wouldn't really know what I wanted until it happened, particularly the first time.

Thanks so much all, this is all really helpful. I have made a few bullet points, re wanting skin to skin and wanting to breastfeed.

Pain relief I'm still vague about as I just don't know what I'm going to want!

Good points I hadn't though of re who cuts cord, students present, vitamin k injection -will have a think.

I know that if I have another section it'll be under GA again as I have problems with low platelets and clotting when pregnant, so there's not a lot I can put for that.

The hospital we know quite well as I've had a lot of consultant appts there during this pregnancy due to various concerns the consultant had - so we know how to get there and where the labour ward is. Am tempted not to go.

Thanks so much all, I really appreciate your thoughts and experiences and relieved to see I'm not insane to not have a long typed plan in my hospital bag.

hatty - think of it as less of a 'plan' and more 'preferences'. There will be things that you get asked in labour and afterwards that it's helpful to have considered before you're in the thick of it - ScottishMummy's list of bullet points is good.

I had DS at home last time, birthplan was v short. I didn't rule out pain relief as didn't know how I would feel - think I put that I wanted to ask for it rather than have it offered. I was pleasantly surprised that all the people who I saw during labour did at least glance over the birthplan (had been convinced beforehand that they were a bit of a waste of time...)

birth plan?
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

sorry [get me coat icon]

I didn't write a birthplan as such.

I think its worth more doing it so you're set in your own mind what you want.

With DS mine was more an 'afterbirth' plan about how i wanted things after he was born... skin to skin, breastfeeding...etc

The 'Birth' plan was literally "I want things as natural and uninterfered with as possible. I do not want an Epidural. If the midwife believes something is medically necesary to ensure both my health and that of my baby, then i will not object"

I didn't have birth plans-I don't think they are in the least necessary-much better to be flexible on the day.

Don't bother with a written plan. Go with the flow, the midwife will talk to you (hopefully!) throughout labour and you'll be asked about pain relief, vit k, skin to skin, cord cutting and so on as you go. I felt a bit naive for not writing one but glad now I didn't bother. I would have written 'give me an epidural' and 'avoid an episiotomy'. In the end suprised myself by managing with gas and air alone but then needed ventous and episiotomy to get dd out.

But do visit the maternity unit. You'll feel more at ease when the day comes if you've visited. I found this helped a lot with making me relaxed and calm. If you can't make it that sunday could you give the hospital a ring and ask if you could book a visit?

Do you know how you're going to be monitored in labour? Do you have any feelings about that? Some VBAC women choose not to have continuous monitoring because they feel it restricts their mobility and makes a repeat CS more likely.

Do you have strong feelings about birth positions? The majority of women in the UK give birth sitting on their bottoms on the bed. Lots - surprisingly - give birth in stirrups. Is this something you have thought about? A lot of c-section mums who achieve a vbac end up with ventouse or forceps, and an episiotomy - partly because their mobility is impaired by being monitored and partly because midwives sometimes rush them through second stage because they are anxious about scar rupture. You don't have to lie on the bed to be monitored or give birth on your back, but you might have to be pro-active if you want to do anything else.... in other words - you might want to write something about this on your birthplan.

I was really bad - I didn't do any birth plan at all and I never went on the hospital tour.

I must say, I don't feel like it made a blind bit of difference. I was very easy going about how I wanted things to go - it was my first baby and I had no clue what to expect. I decided that it was better to just go with the flow and see what was going to happen (which was good because nothing about my birth went in the way I had expected anyway!)

I didn't miss out on anything by not going on the tour. By the time I was in labour and in pain, I didn't even notice what my surroundings looked like!

You could also consider whether you'd prefer a managed 3rd stage or not.

I'd agree that birth plans are probably more important for the process of writing them than for being in the room. I knew my MWs well; my birth plans was "to have my baby as quickly and easily as possible", but we'd covered most of the other stuff in conversation previously.

I'd also make sure your DH is well briefed - I went totally into myself during labour. I was completely aware of what was going on and what people were saying, but I really REALLY didn't want to have to talk.

You don't need a birthplan but it may be nice to have something you/you partner/midwife could refer to. I thought of it as more of a birth aim - at the end of the day its what you hope will happen but you accept it may not. My fear was always that if you are too flexible/go with the flow too easily you will get what is best for whoever is on shift that night instead of what you want.

I didnt bother with either. With my first I just put I'd like to give birth in a upright position and bf and went on no hospital tour. With my 2nd I didnt write anything, just discussed with mw on arrival. I was wary about having a detailed 'plan' that went out the window.

you can use www.birthplan.com as a starting point.

It's worth thinking about, even if you don't use it or don't want to use it at the time, even if you just use it to get your thoughts in order. You can always change you mind, and change what you want at the time.

Didn't do the hospital tour and in the end it didn't matter as I never got to see the inside of a delivery suite (delivered in the observation room on the Labour ward).

My birth plan was v. simple - let me do my hypnobirthing and let me stand as much as possible - hypnobirthing was fine, standing was impossible! The only thing I know for sure is that birth plans almost never go as planned!

I had a look at the birthplan.com and it looks deadly, I really couldn't be doing with it! You can just do your own thing without all the fuss. No one saw me until I was 8cm dilated each time so a lot of it would have been superfluous!
I think it is much better to be on friendly terms and talk to people at the time. Handing out written instructions beforehand seems very cold and unfriendly-it makes the staff seem like the enemy! I think they are aiming for you to have a pleasant experience-if you let them!

Oh yes - do you want vaginal exams or not? Would you prefer a water birth?

Whether or not you decide to do a birth plan, an acronym you might find useful if any intervention is recommended is BRAIN:

What are the Benefits?
What are the Risks?
What are the Alternatives?
What does your Intuition say?
What happens if you do Nothing?

Thanks so much all for all your help and experiences - I've talked to DH and I think we will go with brief bullet points - reading through all your thoughts has made me realise there are some things that are important that we should make a note of.

Cheers again!

I didn't have a buirthpan as none of it goes to plan - it is something driven by the baby and your body and not something I think you can plan for.

As for the hospital tour you are in and out in 12 hours here so pointless exercise.

I have never had a birth plan, 3 kids, how can you plan for a unknown event.. Take it from me, as a nurse any one with a ridgid plan is seen as a bit of a loon anyway.
Ask for what you want when you want it and hopefully you will recieve.

As for hospital tour whats the bloody point, they all have beds, cots and same equipment, end of.....

As for all the "NATURAL BIRTH " freaks out there, what the hell is an unnatural birth anyway, and if you did it without drugs then dont boast, you were just lucky to be able to put up with it..

to hattyyellow, if you have a section you are still a mom arnt you?

if you bottle feed or breast feed you still love your baby the same dont you?

best of luck and love

depends, I am a real planner. I found it good to have a written list of preferences, which DH had and knew about, no episiotomy unless imminent really bad tearing, no breaking of waters without permission and explanation, not giving birth lying on my back, if synotocin then epidural first, etc, even if things didn't go to plan completely I had done the research and knew what I wanted. The list was more important for me so I could be assertive and balance what I wanted with what the midwives/doctor was saying they wanted to do, but it was good to write it down...

No, eminently sensible. If nothing is written down, midwives will have to ask at the appropriate time what you would like to happen, and should tell you the available options.

Just make sure you, and DP have the really big stuff decided e.g. accepting/refusing a blood transfusion.

I wrote a birthplan for DS1, but it never made it out of my hospital bag. I did have a tour of the hospital though.

With DTs I never even thought of writing a birth plan, I never set foot inside the hospital apart from to have my scans and I had no idea where to go when the taxi dropped me off in labour 2 hours before giving birth (DH was 1.5hrs away at the time!).

It all worked out ok!

Good luck Hatty!

Not mad at all. Think hospital tour is a nice thing to do if you are nervous but not remotely necessary as long as you know where the hospital is and have a rough idea where you need to enter it.

As for birth plan, mine was certainly never used and imo is a total waste of time. But you do need to consider the big picture questions and make sure that you (and DH most importantly) know where you stand on those.

My birht plan didt come out of my hospital bag, neither did anything else since dc2 was born at home as a surprise unassisted, caught by dh......

Hatty - I had my first 10 weeks ago and I didn't have a birthplan. I had a preference for trying a waterbirth though. I think it's best as I wasn't so hung up on getting a particular type of birth. I do think that it's important to think 'is there anything I really don't want?' and then you can deal with it if mw's etc try and go down that route. I think my birth experience was very calm because I wasn't stressing about getting the 'ideal' birth. In the end I was in the pool for the first few hours, then couldn't make it back because of pain after being examined, so had pethidine, and then just g&a for the rest. In a strange way I almost enjoyed it It is an incredible experience, so hope all goes well for your planned VBAC!

Don't worry about the hospital tour. I never got to attend the hospital tour with my son even though I was booked to go on one at 38 weeks. My son was born at 37 weeks.

Thank you so much all, this is really helpful. I've cancelled the hospital tour and Dh has taken DD's out for the morning so am enjoying a peaceful few hours on the sofa instead!

Have written down some bullet points for my birth plan to go through with the consultant on Friday - thank you all so much for your thoughts and experiences.