2 year old won't socialise - is this normal?

(12 Posts)
user1469190576 Fri 22-Jul-16 13:43:59

Hi all, new to this place so learning my way around! Was hoping someone might be able to help me. My 2 year old daughter (nearly 2 yrs 5 months) goes to a day nursery every morning while I'm at work. The last couple of times I've picked her up, the one nursery worker has made comments about how she doesn't seem to want to interact with the other children there. She's apparently quite happy doing her own thing, dancing in a corner (!) or looking at a book, or whatever. They said she holds back whenever they're doing group activities. Then after saying this, straight away she comes out with the comment "but it's nothing to worry about" (which makes me think, why tell me this in the first place then? lol).

My daughter is quite happy around other adults besides me and my husband, and has been known to wave at other children when we've been waiting on the car park to go in. She still seems a bit shy around other children generally though.

I just wondered really if this is normal for her age, or do kids normally have a friend or two, or play with other children? We don't have any other children, and there are no other young children in either mine or my husband's family. We also don't really have any friends with small children so we don't have anything/anyone to compare her with........! Would be grateful if anyone could offer some advice/opinions. smile

Mamaka Fri 22-Jul-16 17:22:36

Totally normal for her age. Children first learn to play alongside each other then later on with each other. And every child is different of course. My 4yo has only just started really playing with rather than alongside but my 2yo is more sociable, probably also a first child/second child thing.

user1469190576 Fri 22-Jul-16 18:20:52

Thank you for replying. I feel a bit more reaassured smile

ijustwannadance Fri 22-Jul-16 18:30:38

Mine was the same. Only child, didn't spend much time with other children and was an early talker. When she started nursery at 2 she found it difficult to know how to be with other kids and interact.
They figure it out in their own time.

Metalhead Fri 22-Jul-16 19:04:24

I remember at our NCT group gatherings DD1 was always the only child at that age who didn't want to play with the others, just wanted to sit on my lap and get books read to her. Now at 6 she makes friends wherever she goes and is really outgoing (far more so than either me or her dad were as kids)!

CurlsLDN Fri 22-Jul-16 21:40:59

Hello op, yes this sounds completely normal. As mamaka said at this stage they play alongside, rather than with. The two year old description here sounds just like your dd!
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/2691211-2-year-old-wont-socialise-is-this-normal

I do think that sometimes nursery staff struggle to strike an appropriate tone between 'we need to inform you' and 'just to keep you in the loop'. When my ds (age 18 months) bit a child the nursery worker told us with such seriousness that we were very worried. He didn't bite again until nearly 12 months later, that time a different nursery worker told us, but in a much more breezy way, like 'just to let you know, this happened, this is how we dealt with it, it's not uncommon at this age, we'll let you know if it happens again, have a fab weekend'!
- clearly we felt much happier the second time around! So please don't worry too much, it's all normal development at this age

CurlsLDN Fri 22-Jul-16 21:41:43

Oops, wrong link! I meant this one
www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/social/social-development-milestones-ages-1-to-4/

Dizzybintess Sun 24-Jul-16 00:06:14

Does she tend to respond to an adult communicating with her?

CakeRattleandRoll Sun 24-Jul-16 17:31:48

My DS wasn't interested in playing with other children till at least 3.5. Up till then, his view was other children = people who try to take away the toy I'm playing with. I wouldn't worry about it at all.

ImogenTubbs Mon 25-Jul-16 19:32:29

I think that sounds pretty normal. How long has she been at nursery? It takes a while to learn those skills.

VioletBam Fri 29-Jul-16 08:39:40

Mine was like this too. She would come to toddler's group with me and stick by my side the whole time. When she was 3 it was the same. She just didn't like the raucous rough and tumble....still doesn't at 12!

But she has friends...nice ones! And she made friends as soon as she began reception aged 4. It's OK OP.

user1469190576 Sat 30-Jul-16 17:32:54

Hi all,
She's been at the nursery for quite a while (started there at around 6 & a half months). She does interact with other adults. Thanks to all who replied- by the sounds of it, I don't need to worry too much yet. smile

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