control cry a 4 month old

(149 Posts)
JPaav Thu 15-Nov-12 19:58:05

Hi all. Need some advice. My 4 month old DD is in most ways a delightful baby, but she won't sleep at night more that 2 hours at a stretch. She was going for 5-7 hours but once she was 3.5 months it all went away. I am having some health issues and very high blood pressure and both her doctor and mine have recommended that we sleep train her via controlled crying. I used this method to perfect success with my older DD when she was 7 months. Do I do anything differently this time because she is 4 months? Any other tips??

ISeeThreadPeople Thu 15-Nov-12 20:00:09

Have you tried anything else?

ISeeThreadPeople Thu 15-Nov-12 20:00:26

And do you have help/a partner?

JPaav Thu 15-Nov-12 20:03:18

Yes we've tried everything. She is addicted to the boob, won't go or stay asleep without it. My husband is super supportive, in fact he managed solo w the last cry it out w DD 1 and will do the same w DD2. I would cave.

llamallama Thu 15-Nov-12 20:05:29

It's probably the 4 month sleep regression, ride it out, it won't last long.

JPaav Thu 15-Nov-12 20:06:43

It's been 4 weeks. I am totally losing it.

JPaav Thu 15-Nov-12 20:07:17

well 2 weeks, but bad ones. and it seems to get worse and worse.

scarlettsmummy2 Thu 15-Nov-12 20:10:14

Are you sure the hv and doctor recommended controlled crying??

JPaav Thu 15-Nov-12 20:11:27

Yes, the baby doc went to Harvard medical school and our family doc said we have to do something as well as waking up every 2 hours is making me more ill.

DawnOfTheDee Thu 15-Nov-12 20:11:35

I'd second it being a phase if she was sleeping longer previously. For this reason and the fact that she's only 4 months would make me hold off on any sort of sleep training for the moment. I thought CC was only recommended for babies 6 months up?

I'm sorry as I know that's not what you want to hear. From memory my DD's 4 month sleep regression lasted about 3 weeks then tailed off.

How is her sleep during the day? If you are able to express milk would your DD take it from your partner in a bottle?

scarlettsmummy2 Thu 15-Nov-12 20:23:13

I would bring her into bed with me and let her feed on demand. She is still very little.

Are you bedsharing? That is the best way to beat sleep deprivation with a baby who needs such frequent feeding. Unicef have some info on safe co-sleeping.

I disagree full stop with CC, but even those who use it say it's pointless before 12 months I think.

JPaav Thu 15-Nov-12 20:30:41

Her sleep during the day is zero. Naps are an issue, but I just want to get the night sorted first. I could express but I'm not sure he could handle feeding every two hours. It is a lot for 4 months, she has never required this much which is why I think it might be boob addiction, meaning her association with falling asleep is the breast. I have her in my bed feeding on demand and, tho I am a little better rested than getting up, i still means waking. My blood pressure is super high, I need to get it down asap.

JPaav Thu 15-Nov-12 20:33:00

Yes we have been bedsharing. Actually she has a crib in my room and is fine with going in there. she goes to sleep very very easily, but she needs my breast to do so. CC at 7 months w DD1 was one of the best parenting decision s I ever made. She was like a different child after a week of proper sleep, it definitely benefited her and she has slept ever since (5 now).

llamallama Thu 15-Nov-12 20:33:01

Falling asleep whilst feeding is not a bad thing, it's totally natural, she is biologically programmed that way, she needs you!

I think she needs to nap in the day, will she sleep in car? Pram? Sling?

JPaav Thu 15-Nov-12 20:35:32

It is natural. But not knowing how to self sooth at all at this stage isn't natural. She needs some mechanisms to rely on in herself. Morning nap can happen if I go down with her. Afternoons maybe she will nap 30 mins in the pram, but she doesn't like it. 30 mins seems to be the threshold be is car, pram or sling. Trust me, I don't want to do this! But I need it and she is super sleep deprived at this point.

Actually, it sounds like she is not sleeping enough. I think if you nailed the daytime naps, the night may follow. Why do you think she isn't napping in the day?
The Elizabeth Pantley book helped me a lot.

DawnOfTheDee Thu 15-Nov-12 20:36:21

I understand you wanting the nights sorted first but ime these things go hand in hand.

Good sleep during the day = good sleep at night.

Also, your DP doesn't have to feed her every 2 hours but if he did the odd feed here and there it gives you a chance to get more than 2 hours sleep in a row.

I really think expecting a 4 month old to self-soothe is quite ambitious. Am bowing out of this thread now.

MikeLitoris Thu 15-Nov-12 20:38:54

You need to tackle to daytime first.

She is probably so over tired she cant sleep at night.

Cc is really unlikely to work for such a tiny baby.

JPaav Thu 15-Nov-12 20:38:55

Look I think you guys are getting the wrong idea here. I don't expect her to self soothe completely, but she should be able to go beyond a 30 minute sleep cycle at 4 months. And if she can't then I think it is hurting her development, she is often lethargic in the day. And me not getting this BP down could be disasterous for everyone. I am a Weisenbluth follower BTW.

JPaav Thu 15-Nov-12 20:39:51

Oh and I have been told by a few experts that first night sleep develops, then morning nap then the afternoon nap/s.

queenofthepirates Thu 15-Nov-12 20:39:57

I did sleep training at 5 months and thank goodness for it. I used Angela Henderson's book, the Good Sleep Guide and it was brilliant. My DD sleeps like a dream now and whilst there were set backs after teething, illness, developmental stages, it worked for us. It was recommended by my HV too.

Let's cut to the chase, no one wants you to get any more ill so do it and take the advice of your HV & GP. I appreciate it's not everyone's cup of tea but you need to be well enough to parent too.

Best of luck and PM me if you need a hand to hold.

MikeLitoris Thu 15-Nov-12 20:41:16

Why ask for advise/opinions if you dont want to hear them? hmm

People are telling you it isnt a good idea for a reason.

SilveryMoon Thu 15-Nov-12 20:41:31

I used CC withe ds1 when he was about 4 months. At the time, I thought it was the best thing to do (on advice from my parents and friends) but feel bad when I think about it now.
The thing is, if you do it, when she gets a bit poorly, starts teething, change in routine etc, you will have to do it again and again and again. It is not a method to teach self soothing, it is a method which allows them to cry into exhaustion.
I know that there are a lot of people who disagree with CC, but I really think you should do whatever it takes to get you through this phase.
Good luck

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