Baby Names - why are some people so rude?

(152 Posts)
Metrobaby Mon 17-May-04 12:41:37

OK a bit of a rant here. My ds was nameless when he was born, but now 3 weeks on dh and I finally compromised on a name - Isaac.

Now I know whatever name you pick there will always be people who like it, and other people who don't. However, I am really surprised by some people's reactions to the name we chose. I've had some that have laughed, someone who asked if I was serious, someone who said 'oh dear', MIL who decided she's going to call him Ben (one of our considered alternatives) regardless, and my family who keep coming up with alternatives.

It just makes me fume - especially as I don't think the name we chose is that unusual. If people don't like the name why can't they keep their opinions to themselves? Or am I odd in that I would never dream of telling anyone that their baby's name was not nice?

I think I could do with one of Twinkie's famous put down lines ...

nikcola Mon 17-May-04 12:43:01

i think its a nice name and if you like it dont worry sbout evertone else!

bundle Mon 17-May-04 12:44:02

it's a lovely name. but even if I *knew* baby Apple & her mum (she may be a lurker) I wouldn't tell her I disapproved, it's her (permanent) choice for her child and it would be extremely rude to say so. a euphemism might be "oh that's unusual" but that would be it. Isaac is not unusual, it's having a real come back. IMO your MIL needs telling that Ben is not acceptable. it's not his name, is it? what about changing hers? to Dennis or something? she wouldn't like it, would she?

Helsbels Mon 17-May-04 12:45:45

I think Isaac is a lovely name - traditional and modern - can be updated to Zac or Ike if you like. People haven't got enough problems of their own in my opinion. If I was you I would just say 'thank you - we think it is a perfect name for him, too' - whatever their comment. We can't decide on a name for our new baby (due July) don't know if it's a boy or a girl but one thing I am sure of is that we will decidesomething betweeen us and the rest of the world can whistle if they don't like it. Congratulations on the birth of your son, BTW {{}}

dinosaur Mon 17-May-04 12:46:10

Whaaat? Well I think it's a lovely name! And I completely agree that it's outrageous for people to comment adversely!

katierocket Mon 17-May-04 12:46:44

this is one of my bugbears metrobaby. It is just so rude of people to comment like that and I can't believe people do actually.

my friend chose a really unusual name for her little girl and she had so many negative reactions including people telling her she'd spelt it wrong, didn't she think it was a bit mean for the child etc etc

It's not for anyone else to say negative things about your choice of name:
a) Isaac is a lovely name
b) tell them straight out that you would prefer them not to say negative things about it as it upsets you.
c) start calling MIL 'Doreen' (assuming Doreen isn't her name) - say "well I just prefer it to your real name thanks"

motherinferior Mon 17-May-04 12:47:59

Whaaaaaaat??? Lovely name. My nephew is called Isaac. So are lots of lovely boys.

SoupDragon Mon 17-May-04 12:50:12

I love Isaac too (unless your surname is Hunt).

I agree - start calling your MIL by some other name Alternatively, say you've decided they're all right and you've decided to go with Tarragon instead of Issac.

I think I's also use "That's unusual" if I were a bit taken aback by someone's choice of name.

Twinkie Mon 17-May-04 12:50:45

Oooohhhh - how about MIL his name is Isaac and if you don't stop calling him Ben I will make sure he calls you witch - I mean I know its not your name but I feel it sums up your personality better than ***** (Insert name here).

Or just everytime she calls him Ben just say really loudly and with a complete attitude - his name is Isaac till she gets the message - after all with all those hormones you cuold probably get away (legally I mean here) with far more then just sounding llike you have an attitude - VIOLENCE!!!

I would go bonkers Metrobaby - how dare she Isaac is a lovely name, mind you if a friend called her baby Apple I would have to ask her what she was playing at - that is just plain fruity!!

DP and I have decided on Max (I have to keep this a secret though so none of you know right!!) and I really don't care if no one likes it I DO!!!!

libb Mon 17-May-04 12:52:27

Metrobaby, you have my complete sympathy - we have had exactly the same response with naming our litle boy. It isn't very nice when both of you are feeling a little vulnerable and bewildered by the whole thing anyway.

We think we have finally settled on Reuben but the reaction from some people has been a bit disheartening to say the least - yesterday we told a couple who came to visit and they still spent half an hour coming up with alternatives. I had to remind them, a little sharply, that his name had been decided! (at least I can blame my hormones rather than the fact that they can both be flipping irritating).

I think Isaac is gorgeous by the way . . .

coddycodcod Mon 17-May-04 12:52:31

I think I would say " you get the piles and you choose the name"

taramac Mon 17-May-04 12:53:26

I know the feeling. I have 2 ds's called Elijah and Caleb and had a really hard time with our families about and get a lot of people who for some reason can't pronounce them!! Its very irritating when people feel they can comment on your choice of names and Iwouldnt dream of saying anything negative to someone about their choice.

binkie Mon 17-May-04 12:54:51

Isaac is lovely. If you want a non-put-down answer, I used to deflect comments on ds's name by saying it had special family meanings (never needed to say what!) - & people were then somehow more enthusiastic so I could forgive them for commenting in the first place.

It's tricky though, people aren't always good at managing the response even if they don't mean to be rude. On the other hand, I think the "so what I'm going to call him x" response - is REALLY rude.

Pidge Mon 17-May-04 12:55:28

That is bonkers ... first of all Isaac is a lovely name and secondly even if you called him Cabbage or Filofax people should butt out.

jimmychoos Mon 17-May-04 12:57:20

Metro...it's a gorgeous name - my ds is Isaac! Both sets of parents were non-plussed at the time (we found out later) but both love it now, so stick to your guns. What could be nicer than a name that means happiness - I see it is having a rennaissance now - was in top 100 names this year for the first time. I don't understand the fuss about kids names to be honest - the kids I know with more unusual names really love them, don't get teased about them at all. It would be very dull if we were all called Sarah or John (no offense to either intended!)

Jaybee Mon 17-May-04 12:58:39

Some people are so rude - sod them is my attitude and choose the name you like after all he is your child. I think Isaac is a lovely name. As far as your mil is concerned just tell her that you were considering Elvis or Norris but have decided on Isaac after all. Apparently, my grandad did this when my sister was born, he said he would call her by her middle name as he didn't like her first name. My mum told him that he would call her xxxx because that is her name - nothing more was said and he always called her by her name.

Piffleoffagus Mon 17-May-04 13:00:14

My son should have been Gabriel but so many people looked horrifed I went back to the drawing board and 7 weeks later named him.
Wish I had stuck to my guns at times.
And Isaac is a lovely name!

bundle Mon 17-May-04 13:04:17

v subtle twinkie

Metrobaby Mon 17-May-04 13:05:05

LOL Twinkie. Max is a lovely name - as is your dd's (I think I mentioned it when I saw you last)

Libb - I really liked to call ds Reuben too - but unforuntately dh wasn't too keen We also liked Caleb too taramac.

I considered calling him an Asian name (Roshan) - but MIL got really scared by that and claimed she couldn't pronounce it. Which is odd as she can say mine which is quite difficult to pronounce.

sponge Mon 17-May-04 13:05:45

Is it just coincidence that the names people are saying they've had trouble with are Jewish names? Are these people secret racists as well as ignorant tw*ts?

dinosaur Mon 17-May-04 13:06:54

I wondered that sponge!

I know an Isaac who has a Jewish dad and a Muslim mum.

coddycodcod Mon 17-May-04 13:07:18

the piles line any good? will embarass FIL

Janh Mon 17-May-04 13:13:11

I think it is coincidence, sponge. Half the boys' names in those top 100 lists are Biblical (ie Hebrew originally) and most people don't have a problem with Daniel, Michael, Joseph, Samuel, Matthew, Peter etc etc etc - well, except for the ones who seem to think they were only sent here in order to tell other people what they're doing wrong.

soupie, LOL about Hunt, that was my first thought too!

piles line?

FWIW I also love the name Isaac. We got quite a negative response from my dad when we said we were going to call dd Frederick (freddie) if she was a boy. He said it reminded him of and old man and couldn't we call him something nice like Oliver ROFL! We just laughed at him and reminded him that he had HIS go at naming HIS kids 30+ year ago (and in fact if he had had his way my bro would have been Quatermass Ignatius and I would have been India, so thank god for mothers eh?)

jimmychoos Mon 17-May-04 13:21:43

lol at Quatermass Ignatious - seriously?

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