Has anyone changed their baby's name as late as six months old?

(46 Posts)
Girlzone Fri 07-Dec-12 12:14:33

I think I could do with some advice. For some reason I just can't get used to saying my dd3's name. She has just turned six months old, and I just don't feel comfortable somehow with the name we've given her. She is our third girl and I spent the whole pregnancy agonising over which name to choose. My worst fear has come true, i think i got the name wrong. Having mixed with lots of little girls in nursery and school through my older children in I was keen to find a name that wasn't really popular. So that ruled out quite a few lovely names just because i didn't want her to be one of three in the class!
Anyway, about 3 weeks before she was born dh and I both started getting keen on a name that was quite far down on our shortlist, and it was the one we decided on for sure two days after she was born. But as the months have gone on, I feel like I'm getting less keen, rather than more keen, and a bit like it just isn't "special" enough. It's a name we both liked, but clearly neither of us were passionate about it or it wouldn't have taken us so long to settle on it. I am now thinking constantly about a different name that I liked in the past, and now I really feel it should have been her name. For me, it rolls out of my mouth with ease, as I have embarrassingly been trying it out on her in private for the last day or so. Plus it goes better with her siblings' names, and I think has a lot more impact with our surname.
I am crazy I realise. I actually think dd3 is too young to truly know her name and wouldn't notice the name change. But I doubt I could persuade dh anyway as he will say its too late and that she has a name already. And imagine the embarrassment of telling family and friends. I suppose her dsis's of 4 and 7 would also struggle to make the change. So I can't do anything about it can I? I have to find a way to forget the new name and make myself fall in love with the existing one. (There definitely won't be any future children by the way as dh has now had the snip).
Her name is Tessa (sometimes Tess when I'm speaking), and the new name I'm imagining is Gabriella.

kiwigirl42 Fri 07-Dec-12 12:48:39

You can call her whatever you choose. she is not going to know and other people will soon get used to it. Follow your own wishes. (ps Gabriella is a pretty name)

lovemybabyboy Fri 07-Dec-12 12:58:05

My friend changed her baby's name at about 9 or 10 months because her exP was not happy with the name, she reluctantly changed his name but now he is 2yrs old and he is his "new" name and nobody calls him his old name.
I would change it if I was you anx thats what you really want to do, people might be a bit surprised but will get used to it.

Girlzone Fri 07-Dec-12 13:09:33

Thanks for responding, maybe I could consider the idea...Alhough as I said, I doubt dh will agree. What a mess, if only I could have found this kind of clarity about names a few months ago!

PebblePots Fri 07-Dec-12 13:17:50

Fwiw I like tessa/tess, lovely!

FireOverBethlehem Fri 07-Dec-12 13:25:09

Did your DH like Gabriella as well, before she was born?

ArtexTheHallWithBoughsOfMonkey Fri 07-Dec-12 13:29:02

You can amend dc's birth certificate up to a year after you register them. We called ds one name but we found ourselves calling him by one of his middle names all the time, so we amended his birth cert to take the first unused name off it. Now he is just NameWeUse OtherMiddleName Surname.

rachael2401 Fri 07-Dec-12 15:11:57

Hi, I am having name traumas too. I did a quick google and babies recognise their names from 5 months onwards. So if she's 6m I would say it's not too late. She may or may not recognise that pattern of sounds at the moment. And even if she does reognise it i dont think that it is attached to her sense of identity or anything. It's just asound she knows. FWIW I think both names are really lovely. if yours is anything like mine it'll be your hubby that you'll need to work on? Have you broached the subject at all? It's a lot harder I think when there's other older siblings to consider. I have a 2.5 yr old and I am concerned about how quickly she'd get used to it. I have thought about keeping old name, adding new name so it's acknowledged that it was there. Someone advised me to say the name as much as possible, in silly voice, different accents etc. I can't do it tho and refer to her as 'the baby'... I hope you resolve things so you're happy. I still don't know what I'm going to do...have ordered two 'name's first Christmas' baubles and letters from father Christmas!!!

InTheBoonies Fri 07-Dec-12 15:41:31

I don't like DD1 name - she is 6 months! I think anything up to a year is fine... That's what I am telling myself. I rushed into calling her a name I just don't know what I was thinking.

I am trying to decide by new year if I will go for the new name. Just so you know your not alone, there seems to be a few of us around!

Girlzone Fri 07-Dec-12 16:33:47

Hi everyone, the last two posts reassure me in a funny kind of way, that I'm not utterly mad. There are at least two other mums out there who feel like me at this stage! I'm about to post out my Christmas cards with dd3's name on, and I'm reluctant to send them in case I change her name! Sending out the cards will make her name even more official, and re-enforce it with all our friends and family, making it even more difficult to change.
rachael I find myself saying "the baby" quite a bit in conversation and my dh, although not refusing to change her name if I really must, cannot understand why I am even thinking about her name. To him, names are just not that important, he says she's been named, and he has never thought about what we call her since. So he does think I'm mad. I guess overall I'm just not brave enough to confront everyone with the change this far down the line.

TwoFacedCows Fri 07-Dec-12 16:58:42

change it, you can the explane to the people close to you, and when others mention tess/tessa give them a confused look and say " ummm.. her name is Gabriella" confused then they will jsut think that they must have got your babys name all mixed up!!! - and never know that you changed it! grin

RayanneGraff Fri 07-Dec-12 19:17:09

Can you try to fall in love with Tessa again? Do you think it suits her? What did you love about it in the first place?

I love both names, but think if you can't get over it maybe you should change it if poss.

Just one thought- do you like Gaby as a nn? As Gabriella would probably be shortened to that. Good luck hope you find some peace with her name either way.

StrawberryMojito Fri 07-Dec-12 19:26:59

Rayanne has a good point. Gabriella is prettier than Tessa but she will most likely get shortened to Gaby which is ugly in comparison with Tess. IMO, Tess is a cool name.

chickydoo Fri 07-Dec-12 19:31:03

I love Tess/Tessa. Classic, feminine & pretty. I much prefer it to Gabriella, that might get shortened to Gabby, not so nice.

bellamysbride Fri 07-Dec-12 19:38:12

Sorry, not much help but I love, love, love Tess.

FriggFRIGG Fri 07-Dec-12 20:16:30

My DD is now 4yrs and I've felt like this since she was a few months old,I wish so much I had changed her name in the first year,it is easy to amend a birth certificate in the first year,after that,it's deed poll only.
Plus,now obviously she knows her name,so we can no longer change it.

I would say,if you are certain on the name you love,do it Now don't dither like I did,I will always regret not changing her name.

katiecubs Fri 07-Dec-12 22:47:35

I much prefer Tessa - it's lovely! I wouldn't change names either way though - sorry just find it a bit odd.

Welovecouscous Fri 07-Dec-12 22:48:47

Both names are nice but Tessa is the best - a gorgeous name!

IwishyouaMerryChristmas Fri 07-Dec-12 22:50:17

Just post your cards from you, DH and the girls for this year.

Give yourselves a bit more time to decide.

Girlzone Sat 08-Dec-12 00:13:21

Thank you so much for all your responses everyone. It has really made me feel a lot better this evening to hear some feedback. I think part of the trouble is that it feels like such a silly thing to be worrying about that I don't like talking to people in real life, and it's embarrassing to say that you're not sure if you like your own child's name. So talking to all of you and hearing some opinions, instead of just having a conversation with myself, has really helped this evening. I think I was getting a bit too pre-occupied with it in my own head.
One post asked if I liked Gaby as a nn, and actually this was one of the reasons why I quickly crossed Gabriella off my list early on in pregnancy. I didn't think I would like that shortening. For some reason I now seem to feel that wouldn't be an issue for me and Gaby sounds fine. But I do like both Tessa and Tess, and since quite a few of you have been kind enough to say you genuinely like dd3's name it has made me feel a lot happier this evening, and a bit more confident about our original choice. I will think on this for a bit longer, but would like to say thank you for making me feel dd3's current name is perhaps not as "plain" to the outside world as I was starting to imagine. I haven't heard many positive reactions to the name Tessa. When people have asked my what my baby is called, I usually get a kind of blank look/ or no comment in response from people when I say the name. Perhaps this is partly why I started to doubt the name choice. So some glowing responses from you have made me feel better about the name!

LittleChristmasBearPad Sat 08-Dec-12 00:19:32

Tessa is a lovely name. I prefer it to Gabriella for what it's worth. But you coud change if you really wanted to.

MoelFammau Sat 08-Dec-12 02:03:32

I also love Tessa.

My own name was changed at the age of 3. I can remember being called my old name (Kate) but I prefer my new one. It's more me. My twin sister's name was also changed at the same time. I remember the change and was very happy getting a new name!

My DD is Robin and I like the name a lot, but I don't love it. Both DP and I said last week that we wished we'd gone with our favourite, Ronja. Debating if I can use it as a pet name...!

ChippingInAWinterWonderland Sat 08-Dec-12 02:15:27

I'm pleased you are feeling more comfortable with Tessa.

There have been loads of these threads in the past, you really are not one of just a few who feel like this, is scarily common! Hormones around the time of birth & naming are not helpful!

However, you need to be 100% sure of which you want and if you do want to change it, do it before her first birthday - it is much much easier.

It really really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you changing her name - it's not their daughter and it impacts you more than anyone else. Your other children would soon get used to Gabriella (how about Ella for a nic name? I like Gabby better though!).

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Sat 08-Dec-12 02:23:48

No advice but wanted to sympathise with the 'blank look' thing... I have had doubts about our DC#2s name as some family members have seemed a bit hmm about our choice, & it makes me think - "what's wrong with it??!!". However, I'm starting to think that's just people....

ScumbagCollegeDropout Sat 08-Dec-12 03:01:38

FWIW I love the name Tessa. It's a fab name.

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