Note: Please bear in mind that this topic encourages posters to give their opinions - i.e. they might disagree with you. That said, in line with our Talk policy elsewhere, we don't allow personal attacks no matter how unreasonable you think someone is. Do report any you see. Thanks, MNHQ.
To fucking hate my dd's father so much Im physically shaking.
|
(47 Posts)
|
Long story but basically out of the blue I had court summonds a few weeks ago, and went to court yesterday. My ex-H wanted a contact order even though for the two years that we have been apart he has had unlimited access! He threw his toys out of the pram as I decided she was too young (2.5) to go away for a week with him.
Anyway.... I offered more than he was asking for in court, the judge said I was being more than ameanable (sp?) and was very impressed with me. He got totally dressed down.
So...I said we could start the midweek contact today, but this morning my DD threw up and has been unwell, so I text him and said maybe tonight needs to be postponed. By this afternoon, she had had a sleep and had perked up, so I text back and said actually it can be back on if you want. When he picked her up, he was so fucking ARROGANT, smirked about how he had 'won', and said that in future if Im going to breach the order he wants to come round and check she is ill as 'you never know as there is nothing wrong with her'.
Fucking arrogant nasty prick, how about 'thanks for being sensible and not making cort difficult, thanks for bringing our daughter up, thanks for paying for everything etc etc'.
I do nothing but make decisions on my dd's behalf and be an adult, he plasters all over facebook that he has won. I didnt even realise it was a fucking competition.
Rant over (but still v.upset and full of hate
)
Oh bless you looney, its so hard isn't it. I dropped her off this morning, and he was still as
fat twatish as normal. (Yes, I did buckle and dropped her off, and yes, he does now think he won that round too).
Grrr.
Bring on Monday morning, I want her back now
.
Hi Monkey. I have read all this post and my heart just goes out to you. What a knacker he is. Have a big hug.
I too am going through nightmare situ with threat of court. My ex is emigrating in the new year and wants to take our DDs for six weeks in the summer hols. It is not in their best interests to go and I am offering access in the UK. I have been reasonable and accommodating and businesslike too and it just doesn't really matter. They can act as they wish. There is no real sanction. My ex cancels having the DDs, changes pick up drop off times etc etc. I imagine you feel trapped as I do. I haven't seen my ex either as he picks them up and the kids go out the door without me seeing him. I saw him at the two financial court hearings and he was smug, (super chubby) and arrogant. I didn't get want me and the DDs deserved and life looks different whilst he can afford to fly the kids and his parents over to Aus for hols. He too has said in e-mail that he will "win" in court. It isn't a competition... it is about our lovely little girls.
I am sorry to rant on about my own problems but just know how you must feel. We need to be strong and take on board how great we are and how reasonably we have behaved.
Big big hugs. x
Sounds like you're doing all the right things
what an arsehole he is.
Thanks Laurie. Im not 'nice' to him, but was very ameanable in court, and the judge saw how I was encouraging contact and was on my side iykwim. We do only contact by text (we meaning my other half- I have nothing to do with the prat), but this morning he called and my partner answered. Ive spoken to the police, and yes, due to the court order he has to bring her back, but if he doesn't, I have to take him back to court to enforce the order, i.e could be weeks till I get her back!
When he picked her up last Thursday, he got nasty on the doorstep while he had our daughter (3)in his arms, so I just smiled sweetly and told her I loved her and to be good, hoping that she wouldnt pick up on it, but Im worried about what is said about me in front of her.
Ahhh. And calling my other half the names that he did hasn't gone down well, hes a typical macho man and wants to punch his lights out!
There's your problem - stop being 'nice' - stop being anything but professional, contact by email or text, don't listen to him if he tries to call you to abuse you - hang up the phone.
If he is stupid enough to threaten you in writing then you can keep it for court.
You have a court order, yes? So he has to bring her back - the problem is that he is trying to get at you - you need to at least show that he cant get at you.
Send him an email/text saying you are no longer able to drop her off and he will have to pick her up from now on. And don't engage further and ignore if he tries to call or send abusive texts.
Usually, but I OFFERED it to make his life easier! I cant believe Im getting penalised for being nice!
why were you dropping her off? surely its his responsibility to pick her up?
Oh what a fuckety-fucking fuckwit. Told him I couldnt drop her off this Sat morning as my premmie son is poorly, so could he pick her up. (Bear in mind he has no other responsibilitys). Cue the barrel of insults, threats, court threats, oh, and finally, he is not giving her back when he is meant to! Ahhhhhh what the fuck do I do? If I play into his hands and refuse to hand her over Im going to get whipped to court, if I hand her over I wont get her back and th police have said they cant do anything as its a civil matter. What a twunt, cant he see Im not just being difficult, kids aren't robots, they change as do situations!
I sympathise Monkey, I am going through exactly the same, now a single mum while he swans around with all the assets, all the money and a new girlfriend. I have stayed neutral and made it easy for him, and DD adjusted to it very quickly. ExH is useless, selfish etc. He is going to an organised fireworks display tomorrow, but forgot his daughter may like to go
. But, I have a lovely little girl, who tells me she loves me everyday. Good luck, keep your chin up and focus your energies on your DD, not him.
Oh, just read posting by 'Hesays'. Total agreement re kids being intelligent enough to know where the bad party lies. Well done Hesays, a great role model.
Baby name finder
Shortcuts