YANBU

I have a 7yr old DD and a springer and a border collie, neither dog is left alone with my DD at anytime, i love my dogs and they are big softies but i still wouldnt trust them i would never take that risk.

My mum has 3 Dobermans and i would have to admitt before they got the dogs i thought they were awful and scary, however again like my dogs they are big softies and scared of their own shadows but my mum would never leave my DD or my nieces and nephews alone with them. When the childrena are around the dogs go in the garden or the shed.
I dont think it matters what breed of dog it is they can all turn in a second and no child should ever be left alone with a dog at any point.

Agree Qally.

I don't think rotties are inherently 'worse' than any other breed, but due to sheer sizre could inflict damage far mroe easily

Ripeberry, properly trained, disciplined and cared for Rotties are lovely; my friend has one who is brilliantly trained, managed and supervised, and she is a lovely dog. But I wouldn't trust ANY dog unsupervised with a baby or small child, and a Rottweiler is incredibly strong and powerful, and bred to guard and defend, so far more dangerous than your average family mutt around kids.

It isn't the breed that is the problem, it's owners who aren't capable of understanding the dog, or their own limitations.

Oh and can I wish nothing but bad luck to the dog beater for the rest of their scummy lives. I should've added that in my first post, and I know everyone agrees with that dog lovers or not

tbh i am surprised they have been allowed to take on this dog especially if they appear to have had no control over their other dog. rottweilers are suited for experienced firm dog handlers/owners. i like rotties and have never had one but i am aware of how they can be unmanageable without a firm hand. do not trust your MIL with your lo whilst she has this dog as some people have the attitude of ''oh they will be ok left alone for a second!'' just have to see in the media the results of that misjudgement! though of course this can happen with most breeds but sadly not many cause the severity of damage as the more powerful dogs.

Rotties are strange as they don't growl like normal dogs, they just attack. Not making eye contact is a bad sign!
O.K little dogs may bite more, but they have less chance of killing you!

Do not use your Mother in law for babysitting any more! Sorry, but i will never trust one of those Devil dogs, even if it was locked in another room.
My friend down the road, keeps two rotties in her yard and they are in a kennel run.
One day they just BURST through the netting and killed all their chickens (15 of them).
They still keep the dogs and say they are big softies!
Too much risk!

oops! I meant to say the softest dogs on the planet, not the plant!!

No way are you being unreasonable. My inlaws used to have a springer spaniel that they doted on. When my eldest was a toddler i used to get the, "oh, he wouldn't hurt a fly.." routine. Of course DS toddled over to the dog one day, took him by surprise and the dog snapped at him. The dog missed, but the intention was clear, even to my head-in-the-sands MIL. Every time we visited after that (they live 200 miles away) she put the dog in kennels. I never quibbled with this.

I absolutely adore dogs. I have a two year old labrador - the softest dogs on the plant. I am vary wary when she is around my sister's 2 year old grandson. She (the dog) isn't used to toddlers (my kids are in/near their teens now) and they make her very nervous. A nervous dog is more likely to react if they feel under threat.

The RSPCA have a rule that they won't house rescue dogs with people who have children under 12. This is for a very good reason. Rescue dogs often have sad pasts which can make them unpredictable. Your inlaws are being complete and absolute idiots.

From teh thread title I thought YABU- then as I read it became obvious that you are nbot.

My Mum had (died 2 weeks ago ) a rescue dog that was not a Rottie but still big and had been abused, she never ever let it near my boys unattended- it wasn't a badly thought of breed but doesn't need to be, IMO no dog and small child should be left unattended in that way. I actually like Rotties as well, but my ds1 was even bitten by a nasty bugger Westie owned by MIL so it's a no way thing full stop.

if you don't have theat level of trust with MIL then you simply can't leave them there, your house or Nursery. If your MIL sees ita s an imposition ad states that, state you agree it might well be and thans, you've appreciated all her help, many wouldn't get it wtc but now is time for a change.

And then bear no grudges, just move on

I think you need to insist that if they look after your child they do it in your home not theirs.
yanbu

They can't be that nice if their reaction to your understandable concerns about their rottweiler is to suggest you're doing it to restrict access... on your behalf!

id look at a nursery place - as a bobbie you can get a great deal on childcare vouchers. it eeks the cost out a good deal - think you can claim a fair bit for each month - a colleague of mine does it - he is a regular PC.

YANBU by the way.

Thanks all. To answer some of the qs - DH is supportive and constructive. He also agrees that we are not happy with DS being there with the dog.

ILs are very nice - SIL is happy for her two small boys to be wil MIL which is why she feels I ABU. Their assessment of the dog is based on having met it. Dog is very calm - in my opinion withdrawn and refuses to make eye contact.

The home stated very clearly that the dog had been victim of abuse and requires ongoing physio as a result of extensive injury. They took the dog in two weeks ago. FIL has always loved the breed which is why they chose the dog - they acknowledge that shelter stated unsuitable for around children but felt that this was not an issue as their DGC do not live with them.

I have wondered if they were finding childcare too much but we are actually a very close family and I am certain they would have said. We try very hard to undertake every bit of childcare we can ourselves so, while they see him often, they don't often have to look after him.

I have told MIL and SIL that I am concerned about the dog. They think I am overreacting - specifically because of my line of work in which I see regular an d sometimes fatal dog attacks. They suggest that I am attempting to restrict their access to DS which really upsets me as, despite the fact that we both work full time, we still try very hard to make sure they see DS frequently and ask them to dinner etc often.

I adore dogs including rotties but under the circumstance of them, their previous ownership responsibilities and the current dog with relevant background.

YANBU!!!!! I think your PIL are mad

I agree YANBU at all, not in the slightest!

I'd think you were being unreasonable if you DID let your baby be cared for in a house where the owners of a dog didn't control it properly. The fact it's a Rottweiler with a difficult past and the rescue centre specifically advised against kids in the house with this specific dog makes that the case in spades. I adore dogs, have one myself, but no, YANBU at all. You're just being a decent parent.

BTW what does your H think?. He must have an opinion.

MIL would say you are being unreasonable!. Sod both her and her stupid SIL who's in cahoots with this woman.

You should never though have backed down on MILs mad request re "strangers" looking after her grandchild. By doing so you gave her some leverage. I would also agree with a previous assertion made that they are used to getting their own way.

This dog will be going to a home in which there are no children but methinks they failed to mention that they look after your 11 month old on occasion.

Your ILs could not train and control their previous dog properly so what makes them think they'll do any better this time around with a previously abused rescue rottweiler!. Their previous dog became uncontrollable because they indulged it to believe it was top within that household. Bet you they never went to dog obediance classes - and won't do so this time either. Their new dog will have the run of the house in no time at all and will be top dog. It will see your DS as a threat on his territory and will thus likely attack him if not them. These people are clearly unsuitable to have any sort of dog at all to look after. Would not trust them to look after a goldfish actually.

Would be finding alternative childcare for DS as a matter of course. Your child's overall welfare and safety is far more important than their perceived hurt feelings.

Interesting that there is a post from someone who has had staffordshire bull terriers here agreeing YANBU - there's not even the usual divide over people who own dogs most consider 'dangerous' (sorry junglist, not insultng your dogs as I do think having them from puppies and being experienced dog owners is very different) and and people who don't. Maybe it's worth contacting the rescue place yourself and asking, and then sharing the response with your PILs. In the tiny chance they say it's fine, which I can't imagine they will, you don't have to tell your PILs you've done it. Not to help you make your decision, as I hope it's made, just to back you up with a source they will hopefully feel is authoritative.

YANBU
Remember Archie-Lee?
The dog that killed him was owned by his grandparents had no history of aggression and was kept in the yard.
No need to feel any guilt either, your parents-in-law have made a choice.
A poor one IMO.

Most definitely not being unreasonable.

YANBU, your PIL's clearly dont see the risk that their dog presents to your dc. I dont see how you cant trust them to keep the dog away from your dc since they seem to think its safe. Sounds like the "dog will be in the kitchen" line is just to pacify you - You said earlier that they said that your dc will end up scared of dogs if you dont let him round - implies that they will let the dog near dc, no?

Bottom line is, if they dont understand the risk, they can't protect dc from it.

Christ these unreasonable dog-owners can fuck off.

As if you're going to risk the safety of your 11 month old.

What wankers. YA so NBU, they are mentalists. I wouldn't let her look after my DC at my home actually, in case she decided to take her home to have a lovely lunch with Rottie....

YABU to say they shouldn't have the dog, that is their choice.

YANBU to say you won't leave you dc at their house, or even take him there, unless the dog is locked in the garden, kitchen not good enough imo. If the dog has been classed as 'unsuitable with children' then that's what I would consider it to be, and they just shouldn't meet, accidents can happen in a flash and it is not worth the risk.

Mil will either have to come to your house, or ds will have to go elsewhere.

YANBU, she can have whatever sort of dog she likes and you can decide what is a safe and suitable environment for you DS.

Actions have consequences and the consequence of her getting a big dog is that she doesn't get to child mind for you anymore. I hope you have other options!

Hold out on this one, you will not be able to focus at work when you are worrying about your baby.

Even the pedigree dogs bred by responsible owners are big strong dogs with an instinct to hold and not let go. This dog has history and is not suitable with children. Your PIL's are bonkers. And so is the rescue home that let two old slight people take such a massive, strong, risky dog. There is no way on gods earth I would let my baby anywhere near this dog. Obviously the PIL's can do what they like but this is a totally unsuitable situation. It's just not worth the risk. And quite honestly if they had any experience with dogs they wouldn't have got it. It will need a lot of training and time and effort just to undo whatever abuse it's suffered in the past. It might be a lovely dog, but then again, it might not. I'm sorry to rant but it pisses me off. And before anybody moans, I am the secretary of an obedience school and you wouldn't believe the amount of people that roll up with a completely unsuitable dog for their lifestyle and wonder why life is suddenly so difficult!

YANBU - don't let a child anywhere near an unsuitable dog - particularly that sort of dog.

Have they actually got the dog yet? If not, how can they be making any sort of assurances about how it will behave or their control of it?

They must have known you would react this way - perhaps it was a tactical move on their part?

UANBU, they sound rubbish dog owners anyway. Small children and badly trained dogs are a dangerous mix, putting a small child with 2 rottweillers is just silly, cooping 2 dogs up in a kitchen all day is silly.
Leave them to their dogs and find a childminder or nursery. It they were that bothered about looking after your son they'd have discussed getting the dogs with you and husband before buying them.
Small children being should be wary of dogs, that's is a sensible instinct to have.

It might be difficult for the OP to get a nursery or childminder though if they both work weird shifts in the police force. Not many work like that do they where they take DC on different days at differeent times?

And IMO, in answer to your question. YANBU.

It sounds like your in-laws are rather used to getting their own way. They were told this wasn't a dog suitable to share a home with children.

Had they thought this through they would have realised there was a serious risk this would mean they would lose the opportunity to look after your DS. They obviously decided they weren't worried by the risk, and didn't consider that your opinion might be different. That's a risk they ran themselves, you didn't ask them to run it. They could have rescued a much smaller dog.

There is no way I would let my child be looked after by someone with an emotionally-damaged rottweiller. Stick to your guns, point out it was their decision, and also point out you're only taking the advice from the place that rehomed the dog - that it's not suitable to mix with children. And that is that.

I've got 2 staffie dogs, but we had them from puppies, I'm experienced with strong minded breeds but dogs that have been abused might be better off with a younger experienced owner without children around, Rottie or not. Their experiences might make them nervous, you can't predict how they'll react if accidently trodden on, for example. I don't agree with stereotyping any breed but some breeds do need firmer training, as they're more likely to push boundaries.

YANBU at all.

We have 2 dogs and one of them is a dog which DH and I rehomed years before we were even married let alone were thinking about DC lol. She is lovely though and just stays out of the way. We have one of those tall stair gates over the kitchen door and the back door stays open for both of the dogs to wander as they want. They are still never, ever left alone with DD (19mo) and never will be.

They are dogs plain and simple and can snap at any point no matter now nice they are. DH and I will not risk DD any injuries because we think the dogs are okay. They are old now so will only take so much anyway, I wouldn't subject DD to it and I wouldn't subject them to DD

Put your DS in a nursery you will never be able to be comfortable leaving him with your inlaws if you are not there.

What does your DH say??

YA - definitely - NBU. So your IL's don't want trained "strangers" to care for their GC but will have him in the same house as a previously abused rescue dog that has been specifically classed as unsuitable for re-homing with children . In light of these facts, WTF are they thinking. I would take that angle if they get shitty.

I'd call some nurseries pronto too.

That is what I was thinking too!

No I agree but the OP said she wanted a use a nursery and they didn't like the thought, saying she didn't want strangers looking after DGC.
Of course this may have changed when they realised how tiring it is

In the same way as the OP cant decide where this dog is, the ops inlaws cant decide where the ops child is.

The inlaws are not deciding on childcare for their grandchild. The parents are. And you cant pander to grandparents wishes when there is a dog that could pose a threat to the child. You dont put grandparents need above your childs need.

And somehow, I get the feeling that if they have chosen to rehome a dog that is not deemed suitable around children, they are not really THAT keen to look after the grandchild, iyswim.

moondog - but the ILs want to look after the DS and don't want him to go to nursery.
I agree, don't let them, and actually I think if they ask explain why. If the dog is not suitable to be around children then that's fairly clear!

My son used to love dogs, and was very friendly with aunts yorkshire terrier.

My inlaws had a german sheppard husky mixed breed. A big dog, as you would imagine. We went there with my son when he was just 2 years old. I realized soon that the dog did not particularly like our little boy. The inlaws were oblivious to this, and as we were going to stay there two weeks, we raised our concerns. To cut a long story short. I ended up carrying my son around when indoors, as the dog would side up with him show his teeth and start snarling with a low voice. Inlaws laughed it off saying not to worry. They loved the dog. Could not see anything worrying in the dogs behaver. One day the dog snapped his teeth at my sons arm. I managed to lift him higher so the wound was very slight.

Following this was years and years of total dog terror. He would not visit the aunt with the yorkshire terrier. He would not leave our front door if our neighbour was out with her dog.

It took 5 years, and he is now, age 7 warming up to dogs again. His friend has a pure bred husky, which is boisterous but friendly.

Sorry it was a bit long.

You are right to be concerned. But you cannot tell your inlaws what to do, in the same way as they cannot tell YOU what to do.

I would not mention the dog and find a nursery or childminder for childcare.

If your inlaws think it ok for them to keep caring for your child at the same time as they care for an abused rehomed rottweiler, I would seriously doubt their reasoning capabilities.

If they DO ask, just say you dont want to bother them, now they have their new dog to look after. It must be hard work, it needs lots of exercise, and this breed of dog dont really go well with little children, and you dont want to give them the added stress of ensuring your child comes to no harm.

Seems rather odd that they were allowed to rehome it without the necessary experience.

I think though you are being unreasonable. When our children are older dh and I will only have rescue dogs and the thought has never crossed my mind that my children might object. I will make my own choices just as they are entitled to make theirs about us looking after any grandchildren.
However I wouldnt let my children go round to their house.

YANBU.
My SIL has a rottwieller, and tbh, she is lovely (the dog) and I'd be quite happy to leave my ds's in SIL care while dog is there but her dog is not a rescue dog, she has never been mistreated and there is no reason to believe she would ever attack (any more than there would be for any other animal iyswim)
If anyone had a dog and was told the dog was unsuitable to be around children, I would def not even risk my child going near the house.
I had to take my dog (staff cross) to Battersea dogs home because she started growling at ds1.

What you could do, is make it clear that you are more than happy for your IL's to look after your dc, but in your house without the dog.
It isn't anyone elses decision to make but yours, he is your ds and it is your job to decide what is in his best interests, and I would agree, he should not be put in a possibly dabgerous situation with a dog who has reason not to be around children.

Having said all of that, where did your IL's get the dog? Because if the dog was deemed 'unpredictable' or difficult to control, surely it was irresponsible of the dog shelter/home to hand over care to an older couple?
That's not saying it's ok to leave your child there, just quite interesting really.

totally NBU. How many times has it been in the news that a carer with a dog situation has ended in maiming or death of a child. Not worth the risk. sorry she feels affronted but she'd feel a lot worse if a terrible thing happened.

YANBU
I would certainly not let anyone care for my child with a dog in the home as you describe. Just crazy. To say they will be able to keep the dog in the kitchen and out of danger is unrealistic. I'm not even sure I would visit in these circumstances.

Yanbu

If this rescue centre has said this dog shouldn't be rehomed with children, they have said so for a reason.

I have to be honest, it doesn't sound like they will be able to cope with it anyway and the poor dog will end up being passed back.

I think your in laws are being very irresponsible.

both children and dogs are unpredictable and not a good combination together. i would not leave my child there with a dog.

YANBU-we have two Rottweilers. We have had Zak since he was 6 weeks old, he's 7 this year. Zeus is 5-we adopted him from our son a couple of years ago. They are both lovely dogs but very protective. My son's (now ex) partner refused to let him bring our GD to visit and we didn't mind her concerns in the least. We are considerably younger than your in-laws and share your concerns.

YANBU - I would not let him be at their house unless I was there by his side.

My DS is 11 months, he wouldn't stand a chance against a dog like that - they kill much older/bigger/stronger children.

If it has been declared unsuitable for rehoming with children, why on earth did your MIL get it? Does she think the rescue center are exagerating how dangerous it could be?

I would be calling some nurseries and/or childminders on Monday morning.

There you go then.Everyone is happy.

MD - I agree, they can totally do what they like, no objection to that and I have chosen to put my child elsewhere. We do have an arrangement with MIL to renumerate for childcare.

You are being unreasonable.
They can do what they like.
If you decide it is not good enough for yuor child ,then put her some place else.

Do you pay MIL?

YANBU!

yanbu.
They are big, strong dogs. I believe that if a rotty wanted to get out of a kitchen, it would do so.
My parents have a dalmation that opens doors and jumps stair gates. He is a big softy and doesn't get locked away, but if the gate is locked so dcs can't get up stairs he just jumps it to get up, and if they are in the living room and he needs a drink/bit of peace in the kitchen he will use the handle. He was not trained to do this, and rottys are bigger.
Rescue dogs, with a history of abuse are unpredictable, especially ones a little older.
You would only worry about ds while he was there. Hopefully she will come round and look after your ds at your home.

YA most absolutely NBU!!!

All it takes is for someone to forget to shut the door ONCE and this dog has already been assessed as unsuitable for children. The potential result of a mistake is way too severe to be taking the risk.

Stick to your guns regardless of what the ILs think.

I don't blame the dog - if it had been a puppy I really don't think I would have the same concerns.

They are quite reasonable people but they just think that I am being overprotective - even suggesting my DS will have a morbid fear of dogs as a result.

Have asked if she will consider looking after DS at our home. Hopefully she will agree as I think he really benefits from being with family but she suggested that it was an imposition!

Think nursery is a genuine consideration.

seeing as they have neither the ability or intention to reform the dog and control it adequately, yanbu.

due to the dog having a history of abuse and unsuitable to be homed with kids, yanbu - the rescuers don't state that unless necessary.

Message withdrawn

I love dogs but my EX's aunt had two Rotties and they are massive and powerful. If, as you say, your inlaws are slight, I would be concerned and would want absolute assurances that the dog would be kept in the Kitchen. Nothing to do with them being dangerous. Even as a 5ft 6" and sturdy bird I felt intimidated by the size and strength of her dogs and wouldn't want any small child of mine around one. Lovely dogs though.

yanbu at all. can they come to yours to look after ds instead and then leave dog at home?

YA absolutely NOT BU!

no, YANBU
I would not leave any child in their care if they have a history of not being able to control a dog. Rottweilers are big, dangerous dogs.
Sorry you are in this situation, though. I hope you can explain your situation clearly and calmly.

def not being U!

yanbu

So, DS is 11 months. DH and I work full time, weird shifts as both bobbies but we manage most of our chidcare between us. Rarely we have to ask for help from our very supportive family.

We looked at nursery care but MIL in particular was vociferous that she did not want 'strangers' looking after her grandchild. So, as a result, occasionally she does childcare for us.

This week they decided to re-home a 3 year old Rottweiler from a rescue centre. Dog has been badly abised in the past and was identified as being unsuitable for being re-homed with children. MIL and FIL are fit but slight 67 and 69 yr olds. They had a dog a few years ago which was lovely but indulged and badly controlled to the point that it attacked a cyclist one day as they were unable to restrain it.

I don't object to them re-homing a dog, totally their decision but I am no longer happy for DS to be cared for by them at their house while they have the dog. They swear it will always be kept in the kitchen but, from previous experience with their last dog, they show neither the ability or intention of managing to do this.

MIL and SIL both called me today to say I ABU. I disagree.

What do you think? Let me have it. . .