Mumsnet Discussions - To feel a bit judged?

Start new thread within this topic | Watch this thread | Flip this thread |

This is page 1 of 6 (This thread has 57 messages.) First | Previous | Next | Last Go to page

Note: Please bear in mind that this topic encourages posters to give their opinions - i.e. they might disagree with you. That said, in line with our Talk policy elsewhere, we don't allow personal attacks no matter how unreasonable you think someone is. Do report any you see. Thanks, MNHQ.

To feel a bit judged?

(57 Posts)

By Fri 03-Jul-09 22:30:15 Add message | Report | Contact poster

DS2 is 22 months old. He is a 'runner'. I live in a smallish village where everybody knows each other's business.
If I go to the shop, I put DS in pushchair, as a) we would never get there, b)I have shopping to carry home, c) we are going somewhere else after, d) he is tired, e) he bloody legs it.
DH sometimes takes him for a stroll while I make tea/wash the floors etc (as do I when I have time) and we let him decide the route - within reason.

More often I am getting comments such as (directed to DS) "Ooh, you'll be too big for your pushchair soon, wont you?"
"Oh, I bet you'd rather walk wouldnt you?
"Daddy lets you walk doesnt he?"

DH took him to be weighed last week while I was on a course, lady ( hmm

) in shop said, "How lovely you have him out today, Betty never lets him out of the buggy"

DH gave her a look and said "how ridiculous, of course she does".

I have tried reins on him, which is ok as long as you want to walk round and round the mini bus parked up the street, but head somewhere he's not keen on and he sits down, same with hand holding, he wrenches hand from mine and takes off giggling.

I am so pissed off with it now, as I get it at least a few times a week.

I also have problems from SPD when I was pg, so seize up occasionally and cant run after him, and he is quite heavy to carry.

So........AIBU to have him in the buggy? Or is it none of their fecking business?

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Mon 06-Jul-09 17:53:48

The thing that annoys me is people who don't know you are too quick to judge, a couple of years ago my friend bought a buggy for her 7 year old dd (shock horror), the reason being she was a few weeks away from having major heart surgery and was struggling to walk to the end of the street without getting very tired, naturally a buggy was the simplest option to save the poor child from having to drain her energy walking everywhere, unfortunately there were many comments received calling her daughter lazy "that child should be able to walk long distances by herself" type of thing. IMO people who see a 7 yr old in a buggy without realising that there must actually be a genuine reason are just ignorant and narrow minded.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sat 04-Jul-09 21:40:02

I'm surprised anyone would think 22 months is too old for a buggy! Its the norm as far as Im concerned

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sat 04-Jul-09 21:30:01

If they say 'arent you getting too big for that now?'
Reply with 'God, no, he's still a baby, he's not 2 yet!' and just look at them s if they are crazy

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sat 04-Jul-09 21:27:30

the 21 month old i childmind is a runner and i tried once to walk with her from the car to the door of DS's preschool. the walk would usually be 2 minutes. i know use the buggy again.

i don't have any advice about what to say to the busybodies that make their comments, but you have my understanding!

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sat 04-Jul-09 21:07:25

OMG a unanimous AIBU!! grin

Loving the dark callar comeback.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sat 04-Jul-09 21:02:58

I cant believe I havent posted on here yet. How did that happen?

I keep my kids in buggies for as long as I can. I hate it when they get to big for me to physically push. Like when their feet drag along the ground because their legs are too long sad

.

Despite this terrible parenting all of my kids are able to walk, jump and climb at an astonishing rate. grin

I am not very good at walking along the road with meandering toddlers (I do have the good grace to feel guilty about that), kids running about in supermarkets etc and I always seem to leave the house just in time so the poor little buggers would be dragged along till their arms were elongated.

My OH has mobility problems too. He finds the buggy useful as a steading aid.

I knew of a mum who made a brilliant device out of a 'rollater' mobility aid and a small garden chair. She could push her older child in safety and it helped her with her walking.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sat 04-Jul-09 20:56:08

YANBU also have a 22mo she likes walking but I put her in the buggy when I need to (near roads, when in a hurry, when can't be bothered to stop to look at every flower/stone/dog/etc) Never have any comments where I live-must be lazy here too Puppy! My sister does the school run with her nearly 4 year old in a double with her little sister as her eldest would more than likely never get to school if she didn't!

Tell them you want to get your money's worth out of the pushchair!!

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sat 04-Jul-09 20:49:48

Tell them he is unsteady on his feet due to being locked in a dark cellar all day!

WRT the SPD Betty try getting a pilates DVD, the 'floor' exercises do help, but I am too far gone for much help now as I am 13 years down the line.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sat 04-Jul-09 20:39:19

My DS2 is just three and I have recently put him back in the buggy for the school run as I just can't cope. he runs so fast. He's slipped out of my hand and run across the road three times in the last three weeks. It's terrifying. He is incredibly strong and agile. My nerves can't take the strain. The school is very busy at pick-up time (400 children) and if he hasn't had a nap he is just too silly for words and will not stay near me. I lost him last week which was awful. He darted off amongst the crowds as I collected lunch box and book bag from DS1.

Their safety matters most of all. Bolters are terrifying. I have tried, I really have. He knows why he's in the buggy and he knows we'll try again in a few weeks if he's sensible the rest of the time.

But at 22 months? Loads of toddlers don't have an inkling about safety. Yes, the only way you can teach them is to do that but if your mobility is impaired (as mine has been for a long time) you just cannot take that risk. Safety training can come later.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sat 04-Jul-09 20:24:37

My ds is 3 this month and if he wasn't so bloody heavy then there are times I would love to pop him in his buggy.
It is misery walking at 1 mile an hour in the pissing rain or when you are knackered and just want to get home. And then there is the whole "Carry me!" fiasco. (No, darling, Mummy cna't carry you as her back is jiggered).

Jesus, your ds is only 22 mths - just a wee tot imo and certainly normal to see kids that age in a buggy the majority of the time. Ignore the judgey buggers!

This is page 1 of 6 (This thread has 57 messages.) First | Previous | Next | Last Go to page

Add your message here

Message

Nickname:
Password:

To post a message you need a valid mumsnet nickname and password. If you have forgotten your nickname, click here for a reminder. If you are not yet a member of mumsnet, you can join here.

Emphasis: To bold a word, surround it with asterisks, so *hello* will display hello. For underline use _ , so _hello_ gives hello. For italics use ^, so ^hello^ gives hello. To strike out a word, surround it with two hyphens either side, so --dog-- gives dog

Links and smileys: To insert a smiley face,

, type [smile] or :)
For a big grin,

, type [grin] or :o
For a wink,

, type [wink]
For a shocked face,

, type [shock]
For an angry face,

, type [angry]
For an embarrassed face,

, type [blush]
For a sad face,

, type [sad] or :(
For an envious face,

, type [envy]
For a sceptical face,

, type [hmm]
For a no comment face,

, type [biscuit]

Links The simplest way to insert a link is to enter the link itself, surrounded by [[ and ]]. So if you type [[www.mumsnet.com]], the link will display as http://www.mumsnet.com. If you want your link to display text other than the web address itself, leave a space after the address then add the text before the ]]. So "Look at [[www.mumsnet.com this page]]", would display "Look at this page".

Mumsnet Talk

Mumsnet latest

MNTV

Useful tools

Recipe of the week

MN Local

Follow mumsnet on...

Mumsnet Talk

To feel a bit judged?