To be surprised by this Christening?

(59 Posts)
SpringBee Sun 25-May-14 10:42:50

Before I start I'd like to say I really hope this post does not come across as highly judgemental. I'm just genuinely interested in some opinions!

So I'm not actually a mum...I'm 22 and work in a pub a few nights a week. We have a function room at the bottom of the garden and a few days ago my boss told me I'd be working at a Christening on Saturday night. I thought this was kind of strange...every Christening I have been to (haven't actually been to one since I was about 13) have been quiet affairs, tea, cakes, cucumber sandwiches, that kinda thing! Of course a few drinks too. So when he said there was a Christening doo going on until 1am I was a bit :S.

Anyway arrive at 5pm just as the party are making their way back from the church. All started off fine! There was a DJ playing normal, chart type music. There were a lot of children who were all up dancing and enjoying themselves. But at about 9pm the music suddenly got far more clubby. We were so busy that I wasn't paying much attention to the dance floor but I suddenly noticed all the kids had gone so assumed they'd all gone home to bed! At around 11pm I walked around to collect glasses to see that all the kids were asleep on the side sofas under their coats..while their parents were getting smashed. People were ordering shots, bottles of wine (each), 4 or 5 pints in one go (each). Now I'm not a total square!! I admit I'm not like "most students". I don't drink much etc but I have actually worked in clubs/pubs/bars since I was 18. I fully appreciate the need to let off some steam! And this was the parents 3rd baby and the other 2 children both looked under 5 so I'm sure they were in need of a crazy night. But am I being a bit uptight to think it's strange to combine this with a Christening? Or at least arrange care for the children?

Is this how a lot of Christenings are now? I was worried that I was just being boring but the other guy and girl I was working with both agreed it was a bit strange, and they're both the type who go out 3-5 nights a week. Another girl I work with thought we were being fuddy duddy and said it's "any excuse for a party." It's actually her little girl's Christening today and in her words "I intend to get absolutely fucked."

I heard them all at the end of the evening saying they were going to go back to the parents' house (of the little boy who was Christened) to continue the party..and this was with 3 little ones in the house :/

Perhaps this was the one opportunity they felt they had to get all their friends together and have a really big blow out. So that, I can understand. But wouldn't you at least make arrangements for the children? Am I a total bore for wanting my children's Christenings to be all cutsey and traditional?? haha I do sometimes remind myself of Monica in Friends...anyone seen that episode where she throws Phoebe's bachelorette party and it's just tea and pate sandwiches and Phoebe is upset duet to the lack of a stripper?? haha anyway that's all really. Was just interested to get some advise from some mums!

Well it's not how I'd do it, it is how other people happily live their lives.

As long as there's no fighting it's fine, not great - but equally not something to be enormously concerned over.

bellarations Sun 25-May-14 10:51:54

Grow up!
The last blah blah about Friends sounds very childish.
The children were with their family and friends, presumably having a good time and....?

LadySybilLikesCake Sun 25-May-14 10:52:44

Each to their own. Maybe the DJ took it upon himself to change the type of music?

I used to work in a local pub. There was a children's party (I think she was 5) on one Sunday afternoon which went on until 10:30pm. The children were asleep by then and the parents were hammered. Not my idea of fun for a 5 year old but hey ho confused

kalidanger Sun 25-May-14 10:54:31

I'm almost twice your age & also child free and I admit id be a bit judgey about this... But the older I get the more I see and accept that people's versions of 'proper' vary wildly.

So we're both U for judging, they are U for not being our version of proper yet I expect the kids had a great time grin I slept under a table at a BBQ in 1980.

SpringBee Sun 25-May-14 10:55:00

wow...ok bellarations thanks for that. The children were trying to sleep under their coats until almost 2am. Sorry but we just found it a little strange as none of us had been to a party like it.

Lottapianos Sun 25-May-14 10:55:14

What a rude post bellarations.

OP, I would probably have been a bit shocked too. It doesn't sound like a very child friendly event which is a bit odd for a christening!

EasyWhiteChocolate Sun 25-May-14 10:56:16

All of my family's parties are pretty much like this. I loved falling asleep in one place and waking up in bed in my PJs after a fun time when I was little. YABU.

kalidanger Sun 25-May-14 10:56:27

I don't think the Friends but is childish at all! Phoebe was always my favourite. Remember the wedding dresses episode? Teeheehee grin

SpringBee Sun 25-May-14 10:58:56

I think I should quit while I am ahead here lol

EasyWhiteChocolate oh yeah I get that..I remember a few parties myself that were a bit similar. It's just the fact that it was a Christening which I found a little strange. I just didn't know Christenings could be like this!

Rhine Sun 25-May-14 10:59:53

My parents went to a christening just like this a few years ago and like you they were bemused. It was their friends grandson who was being christened, after the church they went onto a social club type place and the after party just went on and on. Usually it's all over by about 5pm or so, but they then wheeled out a kareoke machine, then a DJ arrived and started playing loud dance music. DParents eventually left at 8pm ish and it was still going on then!

They'd never seen anything like it and neither have I but the baby's parents were very young (mum late teens,dad early 20's) so maybe that's why? I've never heard of anything like it before until you wrote this post.

Writerwannabe83 Sun 25-May-14 11:01:55

Christenings are incredibly dull.
I have been to a few and it was only because alcohol was provided that I was able to bear the day long process!!

BigRedBall Sun 25-May-14 11:03:24

The Friends bit was the best part of the OP! That was the episode with Danny DeVito as the stripper on short notice! Brilliant.

I'd judge them too SpringBee. Would God appreciate drrunkeness on a baby's christening? Hmmmm

Nocomet Sun 25-May-14 11:03:50

If like a wedding it was a once in a blue moon chance to meet up with scattered family, I don't see any harm.

Lots of young DCs are delighted to meet up with distant cousins etc. Many parents of young DCs don't get to go out much (not everyone has babysitting).

Young DCs don't teen into pumpkins if they are out after 7pm. My two, DD1 particularly loved adult parties (DD2 didn't mind as long as there were other DCs).

DD1 is a natural night owl and DD2 can be when necessary, so the odd very late night never bothered anyone.

The DCs that worried me were the ones that spent every Saturday/Sunday afternoon sitting on the pavement or in pushchairs behind our town pub while their very young parents drank and smoked.

SpringBee Sun 25-May-14 11:04:09

Also it was more than the parents just being a bit drunk. I've seen my dad try to walk into a closet thinking its the bathroom more times than I can remember. But I walked outside at one point to collect the ashtrays and one little girl was holding her mum's hair up while she threw up. The guys were spitting drinks over each other and smashing glasses. Every time I went into the toilets someone was being sick and there were so many people crying having drunk emotional chats with their OH's in front of their children. Maybe I am just being a bit uptight, but I think there's a big difference between a fun family party and this.

CrispyFern Sun 25-May-14 11:05:11

That's what christenings were like when I was growing up. I remember still dancing to the DJ when ask the other children were asleep.
Live and let live!

CrispyFern Sun 25-May-14 11:06:18

Oh cross posts. I don't recall christenings with vomit or smashed glasses!

EduardoBarcelona Sun 25-May-14 11:06:47

it sounds pretty rough

kalidanger Sun 25-May-14 11:07:29

I just didn't know Christenings could be like this!

As Writer says they are pretty dull ime. It's still a tradition for many but getting less and less churchy, I imagine. And why not? Any excuse for a party!

SqueezedMiddle Sun 25-May-14 11:07:38

Depends on the family, culture, tradition.

DH is from the Caribbean. Their family christenings are always fully catered, loads of booze, a DJ and it goes on until the early hours. Anything less than that is viewed as being cheapskate and killjoy.

My family are Irish. We dont have DJs, but there is booze and it goes on until people want to leave, basically! None of this 3-5pm malarkey.

I have only ever been to one cutesy, afternoon tea type Christening. A Danish couple living in. London. It was boring as hell, but each to their own.

kalidanger Sun 25-May-14 11:08:30

Oh yuk spewing and spitting?? YANBU.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Sun 25-May-14 11:08:47

Honestly? I'd have been shock if I'd been invited to a christening like that! And yes a tiny bit judgemental. At my DC's christening we invited mostly family and a few friends, had a buffet in a hall and there was wine/beer and cheap champagne. Some of us went on to the pub across the road afterwards but no one got "absolutely fucked". The elderly relatives would have needed smelling salts if we had grin

SpringBee Sun 25-May-14 11:09:05

Yeah I should have made myself more clear in the original post. I understand they wanted a party after if it was a rare chance to get all friends and family together. It's not something I have come across, but I totally get that and yeah I'm sure the kids had fun. But it's the WAY it escalated after about 9pm. It wasn't just a fun family party it was just mayhem. Was more like what you'd see in a nightclub. We were just a bit taken a back that's all

I'm going to have to work hard to make sure my little girl's naming ceremony reception doesn't turn into this grin I'm 19 and getting my similarly-aged uni friends to stay vaguely sober at a party is one hell of a task grin

SpringBee Sun 25-May-14 11:22:42

haha I get that Moomin...19 year olds + sober at a party = not very realistic. But these parents were in their 30s. I overheard the mum discussing her 35th birthday party next month.

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